Thursday, April 15, 2010


Blog of Horrors Governing Dynamics/Founding Principles/Vital Signs:
1. Camp... it's not just for murdering teens anymore.
I recently watch a marvelous (all be it short) video interview on Fearnet with the one of the godfather's of horror, Wes Craven. In said interview, Mr. Craven links horror to comedy. In one you laugh at the a horrible thing. In the other, you cringe at the horrible thing. It seems to me you make the same face in both scenarios (but one is usually followed by intense nausea or vomiting). So bring the camp! More cheese = more laughs = more terror = more "I can't believe I'm watching this garbage" = "but I love to watch this garbage".

Check out this link to an important piece of "camp" cinema
!!!!!WARNING!!!!! Not for the light of stomach!

2. Do not put your dead in the ground.
They only come back, eat you and leave mud stains on your new carpet (blood if you have very hungry dead). In this case, do not forget about the past because you are fortunate to repeat it. ... What's that you say? Fortunate to repeat it? Yes, boils and ghouls, horror is a genre that is ripe for remakes. Embrace the good ones, do not shun automatically those remakes you "simply cannot believe that guy re-did". Believe it. It's been going on since the beginning of film. Adaptation, revision, re-revision, different actor (for better, worse or ugly), re-imagining, re-telling and quite possibly, just maybe... the repossessing of a classic. Keep your dead on the table.

How many Frankenstein movies have you seen?

3. "Every torture has it's porn". - Poison (with liberties taken freely)
Labeling is for fun and for profit. Perfect example: Torture Porn. Was Hostel "torture porn"? Yes... yes it was... it's a great marketing technique that has kept adolescent boys balls deep in horror movies since the beginning... or at least until the censors let a little cleavage into the drive-in. Boobs sell... and what's better than boobs on a poster? PORN IN THE TITLE! Embrace labels, challenge them but do not outright confuse clever marketing for the content of a film.

Defintion of Torture Porn as defined by ... the URBAN DICTIONARY

4. B-movies... are still above average.

Hey, they're not A-list movies. How many times do you need to see Brad Pitt do that thing... you know, that thing he does... that thing he does that affords him a lofty salary. B-movies try harder, cost less and will surprise you. From all generations... from all genres even, but none more radiant than horror. C-movies may even surprise you (remember they didn't fail... and if they're C+ they may be on the academic honor roll with a few more cult movie nominations).

B is for Better... check out this helpful guide to understanding the great BIG B!

5. Exploitation is the greatest form of flattery.

Politically correct movies create politically correct minds which in turn create correct answers on the civil service test and get you into heaven... or at least they get you in a higher batting order. Exploitation is a film makers way to say, "I love women (Nazis, gore, cannibals, natives [insert exploit here]) so much that I am going to make an entire movie featuring [insert exploit] to infinity". Exploitable material is like a fetish... every one's gotten one. You have to find what your into (or hoard it away secretly in your mind so that the neighbors don't find out and burn you at the stake (PTA meeting)).

Diabolik DVD can get you started on your trip to fiest or fetish

Digest. Vomit. Repeat.

-Terror Doctor Jim and the She-Wolves of the S.S.

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