Friday, March 18, 2011

Review: House on the Edge of the Park aka La casa sperduta nel parco

We love to see David Alexander Hess. We love to hear his music. We love to hear him sing in the movies. We love to see him rape people (no we don’t like to see that). We like to see him humiliate and torture men and women alike (ok maybe we kind of like that...) and we like to watch him battle with his victims be them parents, boyfriends, family members of any kind (fun for all ages I’m sure). So when we see him in House on the Edge of the Park we see exactly what we have to come to expect from Mr. Hess. You get the whole package. He sings. He kills. He rapes (and molests which is a whole different thing ya know).

I’ve heard this movie referred to as the sequel to Last House on the Left. That would only be due to plot device and actor. I have watched Last House on the Left. Last House on the Left is a friend of mine and House on the Edge of the Park is NO Last House on the Left. It lacks the humor and intelligent sadism of Last House. It lacks Wes Craven at in the director’s chair. Ruggero Deodato (and we love you Ruggero) should stick to the things he knows… Cannibals!

So the plot of House on the Edge of the Park reads as follows: Disturbed man rapes and kills women for fun. When this disturbed man sees the opportunity to disrupt some innocent party-goers night, it’s rapin’ and killin’ time. This disturbed man will take over the household of a bunch of unwilling youngsters, but, unbeknownst to our raper, they’ll fight back.

The blood is cheap. The naked girls are very naked and attractive, but it’s the difference between seduction (Last House) and gratuity (Edge of the Park). Lingerie vs. Hustler. If we have one true redemption it’s the plot twist which will remain anonymous to protect the innocent so that you can watch it and come up with your own shotily crafted review. We do have a very fine actor in Hess’s cohort, Giovanni Lombardo Radice, but he comes off like the little brother in Last House. Spineless, weak. Wants to be the hero.

Thanks to the Bloodsprayer, we’re getting a taste of all the Video Nasties from Britain although I only saw Last House on the Left so far. This hefty dose of Nyquil is a member of the famed Nasty list and will receive a lump of coal in its stocking. I’d avoid the actual movie entirely and wait for the Sprayer entry on the subject. Instead of watching this picture go purchase David Hess’s solo music project including but not limited to “Wait for the Rain” the unremixed version (not the version from Last House on the Left).

Last House on the Left Bloodsprayer entry

I leave you with the vocal styling of Mr. David Alexander Hess.

-Dr. Terror and the case of the boob crazy bandits

No comments:

Post a Comment