LINKS TO THE PORT MANTEAU OF HORROR

Friday, March 11, 2011

Review: Malevolence or... THE GREAT AMERICAN HORROR HOMAGE


May 14th, 1989… I am eight years old. Random girls are being strung up by chains in basements. That’s how I remember it at least. How do you remember it? Stevan Mena is about to make you remember it in this run of the mill indie slasher flick.

I think the thing that really made me dislike this one at first was a simple attempt at a one-liner from one of the fearless robbers… “I don’t wanna be the wolfman?” C’mon! Everyone wants to be the wolfman. And since she doesn’t want to be the wolfman, I don’t want her to live. Tongue firmly planted in cheek or sticking out in a Bronx cheer. Wolfman’s got nards. You, have a fairly obvious indie flick to be a part of… who’s laughing now?

Why is it that every single time a crime is committed and something goes horribly wrong, the offenders always find a way to make themselves dead faster than if they just went to the hospital and served a few years hard time? I know… suspension of disbelief and the moral implications of a crime as a motive for the audience to enjoy the torture of the criminals This is the same logic behind the thrill that used to come out of public executions/beheadings. Is the audience too smart for this kind of shit? Probably not. I’m not. I fall for it anyway, but I always ask that question. The answer I always get is a bunch of criminals in a house avoidably fighting for their lives. This movie screams of Frontier(s).

And the hooded killer… Hello Town that Dreaded Sundown! How about Friday the 13th Part fucking 2!? How about the music from Halloween (remember the one about the babysitter on All Hallows Eve)? The hand through the door… the mystery man showing up with the gun at just the right minute… shoots the killer. Is he dead? Is he not dead? No he’s be-fucking-hind you. Did I mention he doesn’t speak? I guess none of the good men speak these days right? How about the house from Amityville Horror ??? kinda, sorta, maybe –ish. This one even ends like the beginning of Halloween II. Victim cum heroine is wheeled into an ambulance with a bunch of mofos dressed like it’s the early 1980’s.

I’ve been told/read good things about his latest work/sequel, Bereavement. I’ll review that one in due time. I really don’t want to be mean, but the fact is you can’t copy films/concepts this exactly unless you’re writing a blog posting as a doctor whose namesake comes straight out the playbook of a mid-60’s Amicus Productions. Did I get my point across? See the Cliff’s Note or Sharp Notes or whatever it is the kids are reading these days for more info (ya cheaters!).



Synopsis: Nice little indie flick that you’ve seen before. Mena has made a quality, watchable film with an overpowering sense of homage that has potential to bring down the house in a few years (just don’t make it the Meyer’s house, ok?).

Not my favorite flick, but Mena’s got heart. He’s the Tor Johnson playing Lobo of the Indie film circuit.

-Dr. Jimmy Terror

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