Monday, May 2, 2011

Say Hello to the Atom Smashers All You Baby Killers: The Acacia Strain Will Terrify You!!!

I wanted to talk to you about a band that’s been haunting me lately, The Acacia Strain (as I refer to them just Acacia Strain). I know they hail from Springfield, Mass. I know they play very hard “death” metal. From what I’ve read they don’t like that title much at all. I don’t want them to removing my spine to use as mic stand,so we will call them “heavy”. I believe they prefer this (or probably don’t care about labels and being labeled will also turn you into one of the instruments). First heard them on Liquid Metal which , by the by, has kept me in loads of great music lately. XM/Sirius… totally worth it if you’re a metal fan. Back to the band.

So I check out some tracks online and listen to Wormwood for the first time. Wormwood is brutal. It’s painful. I’m confident that it’s the perfect companion album to Cannibal Holocaust or A Serbian Film. It could be the next Darkside of the Rainbow. Wormwood Holocaust or A Serbian Wood. Creative people: work on this. Don’t believe that this album is as brutal as I say it is? The singer sounds like he’s slaughtering a pig with his teeth and blowing over the dead rotting pig corpse windpipe only he’s bear hugged the dead pig so hard that its uber squishy. Maybe like a dirty baby diaper. Then, he added live maggots for resonance. The string section drudges through songs like Godzilla fucking up the world and the drums are so foot tapping good you’ll break your ankles if you dare try. Seriously don’t try. My ankles still hurt.

Note the lyric sampling below when attempting to under the shear brutality of Acacia Strain:

“Your Blood will blanket the earth, I am the shot heard ‘round the world we are the atom smashers, we do what can’t be done, you are the baby killers, we will explode the sun…”

And it pretty much continues. The song is called “BTM FDR” and listening to it is guaranteed to give you road rage. Listening to it while heavily caffeinated is guaranteed to give you heart palpations or make you believe you can perform surgery on your neighbor. Listening to Wormwood will not cause Cancer, but if Cancer listens to Wormwood, Cancer will cower and pull its blanket over its head, shaking.
Big fan of “ Impaler”, “Beast, “Hill Have Eye”s and “Nightman”. The Hills Have Eyes is a dynamic wrecking ball. Starts off heavy and balanced then drops to a slow durge of doom until it’s like you’re in the middle of the desert getting raped by mutants while Wes Craven films you and calls it a horror picture rather than a documentary. Nightman reminds me of Midnight Meat Train. There is no logic behind that statement but Imagine a man with a large hammer killing people on a subway train. Go figure. Maybe they need to give me back the medication?

You’ve got anthems here. Anthems of pain. Got murder on the brain? Probably shouldn’t listen to Wormwood for at least an hour (and that goes for after swimming to… don’t want to get the bends). Don’t chew and listen to Wormwood as you’ll probably crush your teeth and pop out fillings. Also, sneezing and listening to Wormwood at the same time is like farting and sneezing at the same time. Just like that.

Note the amazing merchandise. Horror fans who like metal (non pussy horror fans) will enjoy this album and other fine works by Acacia Strain. Don’t listen to it because I told you to. Listen to it because it will scare the ever loving fuck out of you on a dark road in the middle of nowhere. And if it doesn’t do that… it’s brutality may make you laugh… their lyrics are so direct.

-Dr. Reading Fucking Rainbow of Terror that Ends in a Pot of Gold Spray Painted Feces.

Important: Go look up Acacia on Wikipedia. I dare you too. Enjoy, kiddies.

Also, In case you didn't listen to the whole song above... "I FIND YOU FUCKING DISGUSTING!!!" and... "IT'S TIME TO SUCK TODAY'S DICK!!!"... tee hee.

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