Thursday, May 26, 2011

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 Soundtrack: “Lick My Plate, You Dog Dick!”

Houston, Texas: Young James Terror looking ever so Jerry Garcia walks into a record store off Monstrose on some afternoon in the middle of the week. There are two records he would like to purchase. The super cool surf rock monster comp vinyl circa 1960-something which resides on the wall… and sitting right beside it The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. Not on CD (find a real version of this… I dare ya!). Not on cassette tape. Not on 8 track (boo). On stark raving vinyl! Actual record store. Actual TCM2 vinyl on the wall for $5. Five American Dollars. I had enough change left over to hop over to the corner of Westheimer and Montrose to get me some chicken flautas and a to-go margarita. Make that a super sized margarita to-go.

Dr. Jimmy moved to Texas at one point looking for answers and found them in the form of a small, used vinyl collection played on a shitty kid’s record player. Ounces of bourbon and gallons of Shiner Bock later he’d dream of the starting a death rock band once again in the fourth largest city in these here United States. I’m afraid it didn’t happen. I was just a bit anti-social (still am) and I got myself good and homesick. Get on a plane back to Jersey, but I’d take this little gem with me. I had to go to Texas to hear chainsaw massacre.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 is one of the Doctor’s all time favorites. I’ve watched the motherfucker on repeat when VCR’s had a repeat function which incidentally was also good for watching puerno (that’s Spanish for PORNO… not). Dennis Hopper. Bill Moseley. Tobe Hooper. Jim Seidow. Caroline Williams. Gore provided by Mr. Tom fucking Savini. Radio DJ “Stretch” (Caroline Williams) takes a number of crank calls hosting a Texas radio program. When an incessant caller stays on the line for a bit too long (and through the powerful use of car phones) she captures their grizzly murder on tape. She replays it over the airwaves trying to get any clues as to what actually happened to her prankster callers. Enter Leatherface, Chop Top and… the Saw (which is family by the by). Stretch finds herself kidnapped and in need of some serious rescuing by none other than Dennis Hopper as Lefty, RIP. Gore. Blood. Chili ensues.

Now it’s your turn. First, set the mood. Get yourself some taco cart Tex-Mex from that guy around the corner that yourfriend went to last week and ended up on the toilet for 36 hours. Find yourself some Cuervo and shoot a couple back chased with either PBR or Shiner or St. Arnold if you’re feeling fancy (that’s Houston beer folks). Now sweat. Sweat like there’s a sauna in front of your computer. Turn off the AC. Do some push ups and then get yourself good and drippy. Drip for me! Good. Now talk like Tommy Lee Jones in Natural Born Killers. Do it while looking in the mirror to get the facial expressions right. Get out your phonograph… or just follow the links below like a bouncing ball. It’s chili time! Make sure to drip at least a spoonful on your wife beater.

Main Title Track (not on the soundtrack):

The Lords of the New Church “Good to Be Bad”

Since I wasn’t able to find you “Good to Be Bad” anywhere on the net and I’m short a Hi Fi system with internet connectivity as of late I offer you this gem. This is what you’ve been waiting for. It’s probably one step off of Jame Gumb’s playlist.

If you feel that I’ve slighted you here are the lyrics straight from the worldwide web. Be careful. Do not get these stuck your head.

It's a dog eat dog world
Where there just ain't enough damn dogs
That's why the weak and the wounded
Get by eating them all
As the city does business with the son of a faith healing tongue
All you saints and you sinners, kiss my ring
It's good to be bad, good to be bad
Good to be bad, good to be bad
Let's play chicken
Riding the reaper's ruin
Dealine live in desserts
Get things lusting for your soul
Mad dog law
Has the boogieman followed you?
I'm a psychedelic misfit as pure now as a baby's skin oh yeah
I love it like the dead
It's good to be bad, good to be bad
It's good to be bad, good to be bad
Good because you choose to be sad
Please don't cry baby
Good things go bad for ya here
I'll lick the sins from your body
I'll suck your soul
I'm a psychedelic misfit, a sexual deviant
And I want more
Well, it's good to be bad, good to be good
It's good to be bad, good to be bad
Yeah, it's good to be bad yeah, bad to be good
It's good to be bad, good to be bad
Good to be bad
Good to be bad
Good to be bad
Good to be bad

The Cramps “Goo Goo Muck”

This is my second time writing up a soundtrack and this is the second time the influential, super surf, super sick Cramps make it down to horror town. I suppose that it’s only fitting since they’re a death rock band, but what other death rock band can boast that it was on both the Return of the Living Dead and TCM2 soundtracks? … Enter the Elevator (below).

Also find this little ditty on the Bad Music for Bad People album.

Roky Erickson ‘Crazy Crazy Mama” (not on the vinyl)

Ya, I know what I said… it’s on the soundtrack right? Nope. It’s in the movie, but it’s not on the vinyl so I guess the Cramps do have the only distinction of being on both the ROTLD and the TCM2 soundtracks. Still nice to see ol’ Roky make an appearance. He’s just as much horror royalty as the Cramps and probably dropped more acid than it took to write all the Cramps albums combined. Somebody get me a hair sample from the grave of Lux Interior.

Concrete Blonde “Haunted Head”

With a name like Dream 6 only Michael Stipe could suggest Concrete Blonde as the new name of an alt rock band straight out the 80’s. Punk sensibilities in tact. Michael Stipe recommends this for head shaving and chili making. More meat please. Head cheese on a stick anyone?

Timbuk3 “Life is Hard”

The band that brought you “The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades” that appears on the My Best Friend’s a Vampire OST brings you this little gem . Get your chainsaws oiled and ready. Things you may not have known about Timbuk3 but you could easily find out if you searched the web: A. They are from Wisconsin. B. They are on IRS records as is every band on this soundtrack because IRS put the fucking soundtrack out. C. It’s a husband a wife team. D. They also appear in the movie DOA.

Now that I mentioned it, it’s stuck in your head. Go enjoy this one before you finish this blog, preferably just before you are to be in tight quarters with the elderly. They love Timbuk3 and nerd rock in general.

Bet these guys toured with Devo or at least played with them a couple times. Now for their TCM2 contribution (with lyrical subtitles):

Just remember, “Life is hard, can’t find happiness no matter what you do”. You heard it here first via Timbuk3.

Torch Song “White Night”

Perhaps one of my favorite songs from a band I’m positive I have never heard a single track from other than from the TCM2 soundtrack. I make no promises. You’ll enjoy the opening riff. You may start to dance and require leg warmers for the remainder of this flashback. Again… I make no promises and leg warmers may help you to drip with sweat better emulating Texas year round.

Steward Copeland “Strange Things Happen”

Say Hello to the drummer from the Police. He’s a soundtrack contributor extraordinaire. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t expect this track from a movie with the word “chainsaw” in the title, but I assure you it’s in the movie; it’s on the album. He’s worked with everyone. He played with Sting. The motherfucker scored Rumble Fish and earned himself an award nomination. Tama Drums. Paiste Cymbals and Remo Heads. Vater Sticks. Rock.

Patrick Cowley “Mind Warp”

Straight outta 1982 it’s Patrick Cowley with this post disco era entry into what you can do with a synthesizer if you drink enough Mountain Dew and pee in the bottles and recycle them. Rinse. Repeat. I want you to pay extremely close attention to the video below. It contains priceless images of what life is like on another planet called 1982. Horror Hound better do an issue dedicated to this year. I’m stuck in 1981 and I think I’ve done at least a Quaker Oats container’s worth of cocaine already.

Oingo Boingo “No One Lives Forever”

How do you know who Oingo Boingo is? Do you know Danny Elfman? Do you know his brother Richard? Did you watch Forbidden Zone? Did you like it? Did you watch Weird Science? Did you like that? Did you like the theme music? Then you like Oingo Boingo. Good. We’re all on the same page and that didn’t take but a minute. Typically you mention Oingo and people look at you as though you made a racist remark. We’re capping off this musical endeavor down the synapse highway with this one because there’s such an immense body of work to pull from. I’ll give you just three. Three will be all you need to hear to understand why I play this on my way to work in the morning and almost get pulled over 8 out of 10 times. Hit play now!

I always say this… how are people so bloody creative? This is the classic Disney Halloween Treat with a bit o’ the Boing added in for good measure. Hilarious and kinda creepy. Chop Top would be proud.

Hot and creepy… like 85% of our favorite movies. Danny Elfman looks like a kid who’s had way too many Smarties:

Straight outta MTV. Also features in the movie Back to School where Oingo Boingo make an appearance that shows up in this classic 80’s video.:

Ok… I know I said three cuts… This is mandatory listening material. There’s more than just the music video for Weird Science here.. there’s true news time machine to 1985 (we call it YouTube):

To finish this little ode to Texas culture off I give you two things:

1. Stretch and Leatherface share a moment when Leatherface runs his chainsaw up Stretch’s leg presumably with phallic intent. This happens to be one of the sexiest god damn scenes in horror movie history. Maybe only second to Valerie Hartman as Ally humping that geeky kid’s brains out right before she finds herself up to her eyeballs in a pit toilet ala Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers. By sexy I mean sleazy/trashy. Same difference.

2. Nam-land. Napalm. Fire in the Hole!

-Dr. Jimmy asks you to be kind rewind.

Oh… one last thing… “Goodnight… tee heee… what about my request?”… “What was that anyway.. the Rambo 3 soundtrack?”

SECRET: Go HERE and to get a true vinyl rip of this goody bag of classic horror soundtrack deluge if you can figure out some tricks of the trade.



  1. Can anybody identify the guitar music being played at the chili cook-off? The specific song, or even the name of that genre of music?

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