Saturday, June 4, 2011

Day 5 - 30 Day Horror Film Challenge STRIKES BACK! - Damien Kissed A Boy and Liked It, His Lips Tasted Like Fire and Brimstone

Day 5: Character who you know is secretly gay (can't pick A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 -- too obvious and easy) –

That's too easy. Damien. Who? Damien Thorn. You know... adopted son of American Ambassador Robert Thorn and Kathy Thorn. Origin unknown. Let's examine the facts.

Kathy Thorn's baby dies. A replacement baby is put in dead baby's place. Baby grows up to be the Antichrist. No one believes he's the Antichrist except a select couple o' folks in the know. People who get too close to the truth die. Those who explore the truth and actually attain the truth live but have only one desire in mind... to kill Damien Thorn or whoever that little boy actually is.

That's the story you've watched (hopefully) a thousand times. So why say Damian is secretly gay? It's all in the metaphors here people. The Omen is about heterosexuals repressing homosexuals under the guise of religious purification. Kathy Thorn's baby is dead. Kathy Thorn's baby was killed by someone. Kathy's dead baby represents "normal" sexual relations between a man and a woman. Its death is symbolic of the death of all straight behavior at the hands of homosexuality, DAMIAN!!! :insert Omen theme song:

Enter Damian.... Fashionable dresser... those hats... fashionable. I mean good god damn motherfuckers, Damian dresses twenty years older than any other child. The entire movie is centered around finding out what Damien's secret is. Guess what it is? He's the Antichrist! NO! This is the really real world and Damien is a homosexual. What does Robert Thorn do when he finds out Damian's secret? He brings Damian to a church and attempts to kill him... for being gay and because Damian is responsible for the death of his actual child (heterosexuality).

That 666 tattooed on Damien's head is a gay thing! All gay people have tattoos of numbers on their head. It's to let them know who's top and who's bottom. Get with the times.

This whole movie is about a bunch of religious zealots trying to commit the ultimate hate crime. If you believe that after reading this then I have done the exact same job as any major news media outlet. I've distorted the truth beyond even my own wildest dreams.

The Tag line: You have been warned (this refers to the dangers of homosexuality).

If Something Frightening Happens to You Today, Think About It... It May Be... Dude on Dude right before your VERY EYES!!! Bwahahaha

-Dr. Gaylord Terror.

No homosexuals were hurt in the making of this blog. Damien will destroy all haters.

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