Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Phantom of the Aorta - 30 Day Horror Film Challenge STRIKES BACK! Day 22

Villain with the worst motive –

Erik, The Phantom as played by Lon Chaney in Phantom of the Opera… Love is not a motive. Nor is a box seat at an opera. Revenge, now that's motive. I could see the Phantom throwing a fit if someone pushed his organ down a flight of stairs as a joke. I could see if someone over-barbequed a hotdog on the gril and then made it sing songs from behind a mask and called it Erik... Kill motherfuckers for that. Hell, drop a giant chandelier on an entire opera house because your mother abandoned you and daddy hit the bottle too much then hit you. I'd buy that.

Love? Are you serious? I will kill you all because I am horribley disfigured and need to make strange demand in an attempt to catch a glimpse at my lady fair. What a crock of shit. If you like her, go up to her and ask her out on a proper date. Ask her father if you can "go" with her or be her escort or whatever it is they do in "phantom time". This kind of horse puckey is akin to passing a note on a small piece of paper in home room that says "Do you like me? Yes. No. Maybe" and you have to check one... only motherfuckers die when the Phantom passes a note.

He doesn't even get the girl after hopelessly romantically kidnapping her. Don't get me wrong. Lon Chaney's make up is a genius and the cinematography is brilliant for its day. Its brilliant for now. I love catching this film randomly on PBS. I really would like to spend more time on silent pictures, but as of late most of my film viewing has been in the late evening when I am most prone to doze off while viewing movies. I wouldn't want to miss anything. The only thing I'm truly saying about this puppy is Gaston Leroux wrote the original novel he forgot that there are plenty of ways to skin a cat... or terrify an opera house and there are perfectly acceptable reasons to do so (saw a bad show and couldn't get a refund).

Phantom, Erik... Spirit... go win her a cupie doll at the boardwalk and call it a day. Put your organ away (uh hhmmm... not that one... meow!). She's only a girl. Use your words.

We call this clip... how not to get the girl:

-Dr. Terror


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    Jeremy [iZombie]
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