Tuesday, March 6, 2012

You've Got Yellow On You: The Giallo Challenge Goes Mondo Boob

I've had this crazy little thought for some time now. What if this entire challenge... the endless watching of movies from Italy, poorly dubbed, mostly obscure... what if it's all about the boobs? For fuck's sake there's a lot of 'em out there. Not that I'm complaing. I think we've gone over this in some previous entries on Giallo. Why is this particular subgenre boob crazed or even jungle bush crazed (meow)? I have no answer. Is there a scholarly text on the subject of bossoms in Giallo films? Only your college professor knows for sure.

This week's movies had a few high notes. Granted I'm still recovering from the doom and gloom of a bad cold, but at least I can breath and stay awake for full movies now. I was getting tired of trying to rewatch the parts I had missed while in a Nyquil induced haze.
Delerium: At least the music is psychedelic and there are lots of super trippy mind fuck orgies. This movie is capital D-U-L-L. The orgies aren't mind you. Just the movie. Somebody has to tell me what the Morrissey esque music at the end of the movie is all about. I'm gonna start thinking I'm in a Greg Araki picture and that simply isn't the case no matter how I wish it were.

5 Dolls for an August Moon: I find it exceptionally hard to believe that this is made by Mario Bava. Simply bad. The plot drags itself like a friggin' zombie but not just any zombie... a zombie that's starring on a day time, made for TV movie. Sure there are a couple dead bodies that have anyting remotely exciting about them. Mario... why you no a like us no more?

Assassination in Rome: This is an honest crime thriller. As gialli are actually supposed to be crime thriller's this is just a pleasant surprise. I won't say that it's the best picture I've watched during the challenge by any means, but it's nice to see something more traditional. This breaks the all boobs cycle. It feels like a "real movie that normal people would watch" and isn't that what we all want? Normal movies? The music made me think of the movie Waking Life as if it were some kind of tango. I adore tango. Sold although I'll probably never watch it or the double feature classic that came with Espionage in Tangiers again.

Strip Nude for Your Killer: I'm thoroughly impressed by the 70's jungle bush in this film. Little known fact about the good Doctor, I have a slight bit of a fetish for the jungle if you snatch my meaning. The bush in this movie is on the prowl. When "it's hot in here" is an excuse to remove one's underwear you know that you ALMOST watching a porn. It's got the Crayola red blood that I adore, a laughable castration scene, but the ultimate is the full on leather motorcycle get up.

Naked You Die: The opening song is so fucking good. If I can ever manage to resurrect the Vaudeville Vampires we're totally covering it. I think it was called "Nightmare". The actual film is just blah. It's more concerned with showing off fashion than murder. It's another true detective story, but after the last Margheriti picture I saw, it's hard to believe this was made by the same guy. Oh it got better by the end, but man did it feel like an eternity
Alot of hard break this week. Margheriti fails to deliver. Bava goes blah blah. Delerium, a film that is praised for its insanity is really just an Ed Wood movie with better orgies. Strip Nude for Your Killer was truly excellent when it all boils down to it, but too much sex/nudity can come off as porn when you want sexy.

I need to watch a few less boobies this week. Can't desensitize myself so young.

-Dr. Terror. One last thing before I go...

You can thank me later.

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