Sunday, April 22, 2012

YOU'VE GOT YELLOW ON YOU: The Return of the Giallo Challenge

After a brief pause from watching some of the finest in Italian cinema (there is a kind of sarcasm you just can't put into the written words) I have returned to bring you my latest viewing diary. I'm starting from near the top of the list and working my way down. Hopefully I'll get a good marathon of viewing in soon. Let's just say that watching this many rough pictures in a row is downright exhausting. What you come to learn about a genre like giallo is that it has some very high points and some deep, dark, Cthulu pits. The big name directors don't always  aim to please and sometimes there the only ones who do.

I think I'm realizing that I really am a Fulci man by nature. I like the gore. I like the zombies. I like the anarchy. Giallo is more calculating and more sexual. It's not always seductive or artistic. It can be pornographic at times. Maybe my conception of pornography split from standard cinematic fare is skewed by our Puritanical American culture, but when I want to watch something to arouse me, I'm not looking for narrative and when I want narrative, you can keep the percentage nudity to story 20:80. With that in mind and with a fresh perspective on our Peroni drinking, bitter dark beautiful coffee drinking brethren across the sea, here's my watch list for the last couple of weeks.

I'll really need to get cracking if I hope to complete the challenge.

BLUE EYES OF THE BROKEN DOLL- Despite the fact that this one stars one of my favorite favoritest horror genre actors, Paul Naschy I can safely say this is not his finest hour. There's not much going on except some love makin' Bad 60's music and an overall too positive vibe has me a bit unhappy with this selection. I'm starting to sound like some pretentious film snob... or at least a Goth boy.

BAD INCLINATION - Talk about some pretty bad acting. Despite being unwatchable or at the very least being unbelievable there are some damn fine kills with a unique weapon, a sharp triangle. The music is cheesy. The nudies are hot. If you watch this movie it's okay to stop at the opening sequence.

BLACK ANGEL - This one is more porn and  nake women with sexy 80's bods than a feature film. Not that this author is complaining. I have a special affinity for the 80's physique. 80's hair? Love it. 80's tweaked pubic hair? Love it. Tan lines round out the whole equation. The narrative only serves to get you into the bedroom scenes. There's not much here, but makes for great spank material.

BLOOD AND DIAMONDS - This picture has some of the best music in all of giallo. Some serious progressive rock. Some ultra awesome classical. It's shot well with fun camera angle choices and leaves you feeling fresh. There's a tight little cover song in the middle called "Shock Me". Please enjoy responsibly. Not much to say beyond some nice technical shooting. Not a huge fan.

BLOOD LINK- The production value of this one reminds me of the Dead Zone. It stars the Michael Moriarty of Troll fame (and yes he was in more than Troll, but that's where I know him from). The music sounds like the score from Ghost Story which is absolutely wonderful and haunting. The whole thing goes a bit bat shit crazy from there. A nice but kind of obvious plot twist is enjoyable and the fight scene with the prize fighter is all together brutal and feels downright mean. Enjoy this because it's naughty.

We'll have more for you soon enough, but I've been busy doing some writing for the Liberal Dead and preparing myself for a new and exciting opportunity that I will be sure to tell you all about soon enough. It's ultra exciting. Mega exciting even. In fact there are two such surprises in the works, but I don't want to jinx them less they not happen. I'm don't want to spoil the story of my own life. Until then, rest assure there is more yellow in my film watching future as well as more material for our friend sites.

-Dr. Terror... yellow, mellow, Hello!

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