Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol: The Film Benson Doesn't Want You to See

If you go to IMDB and type in movie The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol you will undoubtedly find an indy flick released in 2010 directed by Ararmis Sortorio and written by Karen Sartorio and Aramis Sartorio. You'll want to know who starred inthe picture in the even that you didn't pay attention in the credit or worse, didn't pay attention to the rather handy press release info as provided by Breaking Glass Pictures. Who starred in the Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol? Tommy Pistol!  You might find yourself becoming quite curious as to the other films that Mr. Pistol was in. Star Wars XXX. Wet Dream on Elm Street.Re-Penetrator. People, this is just the kind of humor I would expect from the production team who put together such a haphazardly fun picture complete with the sexual comedy you need and the so bad it's good gore you fucking must have.

Full IMDB for Tommy Pistol

We open on a would be actor who's down on his luck having just lost his job and auditioned again for an extra job that a. he didn't audition for and b. wasn't a real job anway. His lady friend decides he's worthless and she leaves him. Beer. Hot Dogs... Bachelor life follows. On a fateful day with hot dog and penis pump in hand, this would be actor falls asleep and wakes up in a world of acting anti-success. Welcome to the real world where dreams are only dreams and the real nightmare begins when the director yells action. We follow our protagonist through three short stories/dreams that find him the best of times and worst of messes. The perpetual shot of the microwaving hot dog let's you know that you have not been visited by all three spirits of bad acting.

I was ready to turn the film off. I had my finger on the stop button. I was prepared to tell Breaking Glass Pictures that I simply was unable to review a film that acting so bad that it was not only NOT funny, but it was not worth watching. And then the movie really started of course. I wouldn't call it a false start, but you don't see the dream sequence portmanteau coming. It was a welcome change. Once our protagonist falls asleep you might as well dump out 50 gallon oil barrels of fake blood. The time for the squeamish is nigh.  Each story is comprised of our hero playing a different role in the filmmaking industry. Whether he's an actor, an ambitious P.A. or a scum bag pimp filmmaker, it's a condemnation of success in cinema. The whole move rides the myth of filmland fame like a mechanical bull.

This film realizes its limitations. It is not a full length feature that can hold its own for an hour and half. It breaks off into a short stories that are slightly amateurish but mostly diabolic. What they lack in acting or filmmaking talent they make up with blood, boobs and wit. You don't need to have a high quality produciton to succeed and you don't need to be a pretentious indy filmmaker just because somebody put a RED ONE in your hand. You can take the path less traveled or really traveled out of necessity and rely on the old standards. That is what the Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol excels at. Recongizing its own strengths.

Favorite moments (you call them spoilers):

-Murder by cheese greater
-Murder by slip and slide (really!)
-Murder by slap chop (or generic equivalent)
-Wearing an Arnold Schwarzeneggar flesh suit.
-Talking incessantly about double anal.
Spoilers end here, but I don't think that telling you about the gratuity would a spoil the film; in fact it would probably get you past the first ten minutes of footage where you might be questioning my judgement. Do not expect quality here. Do not expect an artist dying to tell his story. Expect a very low budget vision of what its like to have so many ideas about what to make a film about in your head that your head explodes ala Scanners and the whole shebang ends up on celluloid (or solid state media).

Hey, when I was growing up I watched Benson too. Every day. I still have questions about that damn murder mystery episode and boy do I miss that damn theme song. Watch the flick so you can understand what the Hell I'm talking about. The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol will be out on video with 3 hours of extras including a soundtrack and drinking game on March 27th. It's not a must have movie, but if you're drunk and need to show your friends something that is absurdist and clever and will stock pile you with a new batch of quotables, this is your film.

You can pre-order it here:

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