Monday, May 21, 2012

YOU'VE GOT YELLOW ON YOU: 79 Watched... 200 to Go!

Time for yet another Giallo Challenge update. We've been running down a few of the more obscure films lately. Some of these have clearly never made the transfer from VHS or film to DVD, but it's not the quality, it's the quantity right? That's what this challenge is all about.
This week's selection hasn't exactly been the most awe inspiring. There's a number of films that were not previously translated to English, but rest assured I still watch them and try to use context clues and plot descriptions to understand the films. Maybe it's high time I learned Italian.

A.. For Assassin - One of the few giallo that I've come across in black and white. The highlight of this film is the score. Try Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor... all hopped up on JAZZ. It's got some of the best titles in the entire challenge. Unfortunately it becomes hard to follow and there's just much to hold my feeble MTV generation attention. Enjoy the credits and then you can say that you saw something unique.

Cinematographic Agency - I can assure you that this is a porno. It's a straight up porn with little to no plot (read that porn plot). The actors and actresses are all bruised up. They're as hairy as wookies. I'm sure you can adopt this flick as your  newest addition to your spank collection (that would be a collection of films to which you masturbate), but there's no redeeming value. I have see quite a few gialli and this is clearly not one of them.

Crazy Desires of a Murderer - Overweight Italian men solving mysteries is clearly no substitute for Perry Mason. This flick has some eerie moments mostly driven by the rad score. The film quality on my copy sucked. The film was very dark, but at least it has elements of horror. Hey, any movie that shares a plot with the Great Muppet Caper and ends with the word "fine" must have something to offer.

Crimes of the Black Cat - This is a true crime production with rather good production value. Some trick photography helps it to stand out from other films of the genre. It's a well rounded story with everything from Mod rock to psychedelic rock to funk. With some decent kills and a slew of extra strange close ups of cats you might be able to get through this one. The kills carry the picture.

Black Veil for Lisa - As I'm watching this movie I'm stuck on one thing... no boobs. The music blows. No real kills. This movie is more like a lovey story and who the fuck needs another one of those. What a waste of time. I almost saw a boobie, but then a giant hairy chest came and cock blocked my eyes. Maybe one in the mirror? Gypped! This movie doesn't deliver in any visual sense, but there's a nice little plot twist at the end and a chase scene through the woods that might wet your pallet after you find yourself completely unimpressed.

Can you tell that our selections this log date weren't all that thrilling. I think it's time to get back to some Fulci. Cat in the Brain please. Hopefully we'll have an update that included a little Lucio next time.

I don't want you to think that I'm skimping on my review details or that I'm taking this lightly. I'm always researching these movies while watching them. The goal here is to give impressions and to make you laugh at my misfortune. On the somewhat rare occasion that we find a keeper, you'll be the first to know. The challenge is definitely an education and it's been an eye opening experience, but we have such a long way to go.
As of today I have watched 79 of the 279 giallo film's on the list obtained from the interwebs i.e. Brain Bug's list. That's 28% finished and we're about 38% done with the year. I have some ground to make up. I smell marathon in the near future.

-Dr. Terror... yellow behind the ears.

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