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Friday, November 16, 2012

GRINDHOUSE DOUBLE FEATURE: The Do's and DON'Ts from VCI (DVD Review)


There’s a reason I tattooed the poster art for the Rodriguez/Tarantino movie GRINDHOUSE on my upper arm. I love the films of the 60’s and 70’s and even the early 80’s that are just rotten. Bad movies. Movies that look bad and are scratched to shit with gaping holes in their … plots. I love movies that follow formulas all the way until they absolutely fail. It’s like watching a car crash on the interstate. You just can’t turn your head. Luckily for us there’s a highway of wrecks to fill our DVD collection. One such release is the Grindhouse Double Feature offerings of Don’t Open the Door and Don’t Look in the Basement from VCI Entertainment. These are part of rather impressive series from VCI of which I hope to make all of you aware in due time.

Both movies are lovely pieces of trash with stories that fall apart pretty much after the credit sequence. Check out the trailers here to get that authentic feel for what this double feature has in store for you.



Remember the Edgar Wright spoof faux trailer between Planet Terror and Death Proof in the theatrical release of Grindhouse? DON’T. These are the movies that Don’t spoofed (really there are quite a few movies of this type but the naming convention is a dead give away). There’s a reason the Don’t movies Don’t live up to their expectation. Don’t Go Into the Woods among them. Don’t Go In to the House is the exception to that rule.


Don’t Look in the Basement is the kind of movie that you have to make fun of to get through, but it pays off with a tolerable plot and a moderately cohesive story that is more of an exception to the rule when discussing films from the Deuce. Slow and steady wins the race right? And while Don’t Open the Door may be one of those impossible to watch, collections of strange scenes… the poster art is gorgeous and will at least give you the appearance that the movie your watching are worth opening. Just remind the cover art that Dares go first! (2 Movies we DARE you to Open!)

Let’s be clear that these movies SHOULDN’T look pretty. They shouldn’t be amazing transfers. If there aren’t scratches and dust and skips and burns then it ain’t Grindhouse cinema. What you can count on is about three hours of entertainment. Three hours of bad movies that you can jerk off to, make out with a young lady during, Hell, you can Mystery Science Theater 3000 the bitches and now you can do it in your own living room or bedroom rather than a seedy theater on 42nd Street (that doesn’t exist anymore anway).

This is for fans of Grindhouse cinema. This is not for the casual horror fan. Exploitation fans are in for a treat and indie filmmakers who just dropped out of film school NEED apply.

You can pick up this Double Feature HERE and check out VCI Entertainment’s other offerings HERE. Make sure to pick up this very reasonably priced double feature set and the rest in the Grindhouse Double Feature Collection.

-Dr. DON’T

Get grindy children.

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