MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! There, now I've gone and said it. It's Christmas Eve actually which is just about the scariest night of the year (just ask little Billy Caldwell). In the spirit of the holiday, my love for Christmas horror and my enduring collaboration with Mr. Frank Browning and Sean O'Connor, we have decided it is time to bring you a new 8-Bit trailer for a game that WILL NEVER EXIST. This time we're bringing you Bob Clark's Black Christmas.
For those of you unfamiliar with Black Christmas please enjoy the movie trailer below and then immediately go pick it up. You'll need it in your collection. It is considered the mold for all slasher films. It is arguably the first slasher film and stars Margot Kidder, John Saxon, Oliva Hussey and Keir Dullea. The basic premise is detailed in game play below.
Please enjoy the trailer for BLACK CHRISTMAS for the Nintendo Entertainment System:
Here's the limited Edition game box that comes with the infamous Teletroler (see below)
Game cartridge. Also available in Green and Red shiny limited edition release. Limited Edition release in Green comes with the Teletroler. Red includes the obscene levels with added gore, violence and repeated use of the word "CUNT".
From the manual
Thank you for selecting the Nintendo Entertainment System’s BLACK CHRISTMAS
- Insert the BLACK CHRISTMAS cartridge and turn on the Nintendo machine. The story of Black Christmas will being. If you would like to skip the story, press START.
- The BLACK CHRISTMAS title screen should be on the screen. Use SELECT to choose the appropriate game and mode desired. Options are 1 PLAYER JESS, 1 PLAYER BARB, 1 PLAYER MOANER NOVICE, 1 PLAYER MOANER NORMAL, 1 PLAYER MOANER OBSCENE, 2 PLAYER ESCAPE THE SORORITY, 2 PLAYER DRINK COMPETITION, TRACE THAT CALL! MODE
- You must now choose START to begin the game.
OBJECT OF THE GAMES/GAME DESCRIPTION
There’s a rooster in the hen house, or rather a strange has infiltrated the sorority house at
Belmont street. During a Christmas party, a series
of obscene phone calls lead to a string of disappearances including the
sorority house mother, Mrs. MacHenry. While the local police have been
informed, they are unable to determined what has happened to some of the
sorority members and suspect foul play.
It is up to sorority sister, Jess Bradford, to figure out what has become of her long lost sister, the house mother and who the lecherous “moaner” is on the other end of the telephone line. Just from where are the phone calls coming?
Push RIGHT, LEFT, UP or DOWN on the controller to move JESS around the screen. The viewing window is from over top the character and will allow four direction of movement through the house or town.
The A button is for accessing a Item A or talking to other characters (See Items list)
The B button is for using Item B (see Items list).
The START Button brings up the Item selection menu. Items include a telephone, a bottle of Sherry (restores energy a little), a bottle of Whiskey (restores energy to full), piano wire, a glass unicorn, a hook, a dry cleaner bag, a suitcase and a basement key. You can also acquire a gun or a fireplace poker to be used as weapons.
The SELECT button pauses the game.
GAME PLAY MODES
1 PLAYER JESS is game play as Jess Bradford. The Player interacts with other characters at the sorority house, the police station, the music conservatory and on the manhunt for her missing friend. Jess must figure out THE MOANER’S identity and report it to the policy. The moaner makes frequent phone calls and offers clues as to his identity. You can only ever see THE MOANER’S eyes.
1 PLAYER BARB is game play as Barbara Coard. The Player interacts in the same way as 1 PLAYER JESS Mode only the level is more difficult, actions are obscured and occasionally the screen grows hazy or goes black as Barb is drunk throughout the game. The goal is to find out the identity of the MOANER and stay alive, however Barb must imbibe a certain amount of spirits each level. Too much and she grows drunk and the screen blackens. Too little and she will move sluggishly and chaotically.
1 PLAYER MOANER NOVICE is game play as THE MOANER. The Player must stalk the sorority girls (10 in all). The MOANER makes phone calls, kills sorority girls/collects them using weapons and must avoid contact with the police. If a police officer touches THE MOANER, he goes to jail and gets the electric chair. Novice mode is easy, the girls are more drunk and easier to kill. The police make more mistakes.
1 PLAYER MOANER NORMAL is game play as THE MOANER the same as NOVICE mode only in NORMAL mode, the sorority girls fight back and move at a regular pace. The policy make fewer mistakes and weapons are somewhat more difficult to locate.
1 PLAYER MOANER OBSCENE is game play as THE MOANER the same as NOVICE and NORMAL mode only the game features extremely violent sequences, references to abortion, obscene language and there is a secret ending if you win the game with as few deaths as possible where you see the birth of your child after stopping Jess from having the abortion. NOT FOR CHILDREN UNDER 17
2 PLAYER ESCAPE THE SORORITY is game play by two players, one as THE MOANER and the other as either JESS, BARB or a POLICE OFFICER. The goal is to escape the house before the Moaner and his henchman kill you. Floating dry cleaner bags block your way and Mrs. MacHenry can you send you to your room for drinking too much.
2 PLAYER DRINK COMPETITION is game play between two players where JESS and BARB have a drinking competition featuring beers of the 1970’s including Olympia (featured), Sherry and Whiskey. Drink by pressing the A and B BUTTONS repetitively in order to out drink your opponent. The loser is sent to the attic and stowed near the window by THE MOANER.
TRACE THAT CALL! MODE is game play by one player versus the computer. In this mode THE MOANER makes a phone call and you are a POLICE OFFICER tracing the phone call on a game board representing a series of phone switches. You must figure out from where THE MOANER is calling before he hangs up. If you do not complete the trace in the appropriate amount of time, a sorority girl dies on screen. TRACE THAT CALL! also appears as a bonus game during regular game play as JESS or BARB.
That's the game folks!!!
In marketing this particular game a few special promo items were assembled.
Created by Frank Browning for Shit Movie Fest and is the perfect way to celebrate the release of this new fake game. Drink responsibly. This is also perfect for SHITMAS, going on now over at Shit Movie Fest!!!
The innovative NES controller that The Teletroler allows the player to actually interact as the Moaner and to participate in a special, interactive phone trace game. Very limited.
If the black and tans aren't quite doing it for you hit this limited edition Black Haus rebranded for this NES release. Gaming ain't just for kids anymore as you may well know.
You can get your own branded Black Christmas NES dry cleaning bag in this handsome black, opaque bag...
or is this classic clear bag. Do not wear it over your head... even if your stuck in the attic.
Finally, this is the Nintendo Power release with cheats and tricks to help you battle the Moaner, unlock secret levels and improve you game play. This edition was crafted special for the Black Christmas game release as Nintendo Power is no longer in production.
Last but not least, make sure to keep your eyes out for the next release in the Bob Clark Nintendo Gaming Series, A CHRISTMAS STORIES... You'll shoot your eye out!!!
The group below will henceforth be known as Hacktivision and will be producing more games for you in 2013. Programmers with 8-Bit skills, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Currently accepting applications.
ABOUT THE VISUAL ARTIST, FRANK BROWNING:
Born and raised in southern West Virginia, Frank Browning's passion for art developed at a very young age.. He would spend time recreating his favorite images from his beloved Marvel comic books while "Empire Strikes Back" played in the background. He continued to develop his talent throughout high school, then took that talent to college. He graduated from Marshall University in Huntington, West Virginia, with a bachelor's in graphic design.
Frank has a broad range of talent and has designed for the likes of Spencer's, Hot Topic, FYE, HBO, Capcom, Epic Games, DC, Warner Brothers, and Jim Hensen Company, to name a few. Many of his designs can still be found in Spencer's stores today.
Frank currently works for the West Virginia Department of Education and enjoys doing freelance design projects. He loves all things horror, Star Wars, and Marvel, but his favorite thing is spending time with his wife and 6 week old son.
ABOUT THE MUSICAL ARTIST, SEAN O’CONNOR:
While it is not entirely certain from what time or space the creator of our 8 Bit audio clip comes from one thing is for certain, he was born with a light gun in his hand. The Konami code actually appears in his DNA and we hope that someday... he gets his Gameboy. Sea O'Connor is an exceptionally talented musician and friend who has performed in such musical acts as Leema Mountain, Me Hate Me and Melatonin. Feel free to check out his musicHERE and support him like you would any set of finely crafted breasts. We hope to work with Sean on future 8-Bit renditions of the movies you love, the games you deserve on the system that was made specifically for people who like to stay up all night long with a 3 liter bottle of Mountain Dew and a bag of Cheese Puffs.
Game Play, Ranting, Uprisings and poor use of punctuation and terror specific non-8-Bit styling by JIMMY TERROR.
MERRY CHRISTMAS HORROR FANS!!!
ALSO... make sure you stop back on New Year's Eve for another game from HACKTIVISION!!!