Monday, January 14, 2013

Video Nasty Challenge Update 2: Contamination of the Bloody Apes

In the interest of full disclosure, I love bad movies. I love movies that you don't love. The few of you that actually read this thing, well... you also love bad movies I'm sad to say. I have few illusions about it if any. Get me into a fiery debate about the merits of a Ghoulies and I'll hand your ass hat to you, but I am not Leonard Maltin that's for goddamn sure. If you ask me why I love bad movies I'll give you a list of reasons that starts with my dad showed me the worst of the worst from a young age, without comedy/riff reel and in full awareness of just what COULD happen to a young, developing mind raised on schlock. I don't really know if that has anything to do with this week's Nasty Challenge update, but fuck it. I gotta say something in some sort of preamble-ish sorta way.

What you find here is week 2's viewings for the Video Nasty Challenge. I'm gonna complete the Vidoe Nasty List this year. While I don't have many to go I have important movies to watch. Five more movies down. Total of ten thus far.

Island of Death

So you thought you wanted to see a movie where some strange religious zealot with a penchant for murder goes on a debauched sexual holiday in the Mediterranean? Yeah, I bet you thought that would be just swell until said zealot fucks a goat on screen and then slits its awesome throat. This is the Island of Death. Everyone is naked constantly. Everyone’s sexy. Everyone is a caricature. Everyone’s stone cold nuts. It’s by far the funniest of the Video Nasties I have watched thus far. I adore the score. The entire thing makes me think that I’m listening to the M. Ward BBC Sessions (if they exist) or am perpetually listening to the end music from Planet Terror (and you know that I’m a total sucker for that movie). I never saw the ending coming (yes coming, not cumming). Do yourself a favor and watch this one if you have a moderately strong stomach and a jungle bush fetish… or even if you don’t. “Destination” by Nikos Lavarnos has got to be on my top ten best of the worst songs for a piece of exploitation cinema, unnecessarily repeated and with movie specific lyrics.


Bless you Luig Cozzi. There are times when you think that you may have seen all the heartfelt, gore galore Italian cinema there ever was to see. I had overlooked Contamination. I knew that it “shared” a score with Hell of the Living Dead, but had not idea to what extend the chest bursting, green globby, blob cocoons would have an effect on me. Consider me a Cozzi fan... if I wasn’t before. A man who direct Hercules, Godzilla, Contamination and The Killer Must Kill Again is my kinda director. I recommend this movie to everyone. Gore? Yes! Strange alien creatures? Yes! Alien rip off? I really don’t see it. I mean, I know it capitalized on Alien’s success, but it just had a completely unique, earthbound quality that wasn’t in Alien. Remember, enjoy the soundtrack. Enjoy the chest bursts and even enjoy the tension. The ending is gonzo, primo, off the wall, awesome.

I am convinced that in Italy, all life begins with the New York skyline and mysterious boats traveling around Manhattan. Almost certain of it. Few more tests.


I don’t think there’s a move on the Video Nasty list that I don’t enjoy the score to. This one was not my favorite entry though I enjoyed the dry, creepy performances. The setting was a brilliant old mansion and it had a Gothic quality that I love in all my scare pictures. Well the plot was stale and the murders, while energetic were somewhat ordinary and I get why someone might ban it, but really, this was no Cannibal Holocaust, but the slasher genre was served well by this entry.


What a misnomer! I guess that’s the general opinion about this movie. Always has been. Always will be. It has a few followers but overall this is trash. A combo biker, horror, exploitation, domination flick. It doesn’t do any of these subgenres justice, the music is the worst kind of overused pscyhedelic garage rock and the boobs... even the boobies don’t quite meet my expectation (how is it possible that nudity in a film that’s only good quality is the nudity it possesses could have such atrocious looking breasts?). Um... fuck this movie. That is all.
Night of the Bloody Apes

One of the best opening credit sequences of any movie with riveting music and gorgeous tri color transitions. The rest of the movie watches like a luchador meets the monster picture with a couple surgery scenes thrown in for good measure. Still, red catwoman vs. matador wrestling works for me even if the rest of the acting is somewhat poor. It’s fun and fun is worth having. This is the first movie that feels out of place in the list unless you count Snuff for sucking (because none of the other movies on the list have sucked thus far).


And just so you think I have an ounce of credibility or at least taste... here's the score from both Contamination and Hell of the Living Dead. I featured this during Italian Horror Week here. Well, now that I've actually seen Contamination I feel like I can speak about it with more confidence.

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