LINKS TO THE PORT MANTEAU OF HORROR

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Gonna Watch All the Movies from 1980 Vol 2.




Volume 2 of our 1980 challenge features two real stinkers and a couple really excellent 80's torture and gore pictures. Mama Dracula is to be avoided at all cost. Find a reason to watch it and then go drink a six pack really fast. Also, there were two movies from Asia in this update. That's the first time since the Fangoria 300 Challenge that I watched more than one Asian horror flick in a single week. 

Here's the goods:

Patrick Still Lives



When you see the Media Blasters logo you can be assured that you’re about to have a good ol’ fashion Euro smut kind of an evening. Patrick Still LIves does not feel like a sequel to the ozploitation classic from 1978. I think you’d be hard pressed to find a true link. In fact I say drop the name and give it a separate identity complete. This one is a slow burn, Euro flick that is filled with absolutely amazing music, bright, vivacious color and the best lighting a Spanish film had to offer circa 1980. I am pleased to offer my endorsement of this movie even if the male lead does not compare to that of it’s “predecessor”. I can assure you that the female lead is hot stuff and wears the most glamorous PJ’s. Just don’t go into this expecting a great pseudopsychological continuation of Patrick.

Mama Dracula



If the DVD menu screen is any indication as to what I should have expected from this movie we might be reading about the next riff-fest. Some rather romantic tango music and the occasional creepy synth note along with a particularly less than stellar production value beg a great big “why am I watching this piece?” There in lies the challenge of this challenge. While the Video Nasty Challenge has merit from a “worldly” perspective, the 1980 challenge is haphazard’ nearly random. When the Statue of Liberty sprouts fangs, you may wish that you’d already encumbered yourself with enough liquor to forget that you had watched this shlock, comedy or better still... maybe you’ll just black out. No one recommends this movie. If I recommend this movie, it’s to set a benchmark. It’s not the worst movie I’ve watched. It’s just one of the them.

You may laugh at this movie for any number of reasons. You may enjoy some of the truly sexy ladies that remove their tops quite willingly. You might even ask yourself i you next mode of transportation should be a van with the word Vamp written in red across the side.

Lost Souls



This kind of flick just circulates from time to time. The whole subgenre of capturing folks, interning them, torturing the everloving shit out of them (usually naked) with little chance of survival has about a 20 year cycle. This is a brutal gem with some original moments direct form the Shaw Brother with haunting music and timeless premise. Candle was down your asshole? Sure! Bear trap around your leg? You betcha. There are unintentional moments of true comedy. Surely not lighthearted fare to show your friends but rather brutal sexy fare to use as friend repellant. If you’re girlfriend sticks around after you show her Lost Souls it’s time to break out the candles, the mud and ask yourself how important is jungle bush to your relationship. Plenty of hotties in this sexploitation classic.

Also, don’t try throwing women from exceptionally tall heights, naked with blood and candle wax all over them or launching them in the air repeatedly.

Cannibal Apocalypse



When I was going through my Cannibal Movies of the 1970’s and 80’s a year or so ago I neglected to watch or include this movie in my report. How could I avoid it? I mean it has friggin’ John Saxon and a hottie or two and yummy yum yum cannibals in the big city. The music if absolutely fantastic featuring Alexander Blonksteiner of House by the Cemetery fame. It’s considered a classic of the Italian cannibal cycle though I think it’s really more like a footnote to a subgenre fulfilled nicely by the works of Deodato and Lenzi. Does that make me a friggin’ purist? Still, it has all the charm you’ve come to expect from Italian cinema of the early 80’s, but not the bite (pun fully intended... you can put mustard on it). Incidentally, this one is also on the Video Nasty list... the cannibals have it.

We’re Going to Eat You



Japanese horror comedy with plenty of gore goodness though not as funny as I would have liked. I was forced to watch and undubbed version of this one. The music was lifted from Suspiria, but I also thinking there was some music from Tourist Trap (could totally be wrong about that). It’s got a healthy level of brutal that will be good for large drunkin’ groups of nerds. Overdramatic. Indulgent. Great fucking title.

He Knows You’re Alone



I grew up with this movie’s cover box on the shelf of nearly every video store I would go to. Big box. Sexy. Eyes aglare on the cover, but I never did get to watch it. Then within the last couple of years I got to watch it but couldn’t focus in on it during a horror marathon challenge with slasher focus. Well, it skimmed right off my brain and made me realize that I shouldn’t watch new movies during marathon contests. I might miss something.

I love the iconic late 70’s underwear and the killer stabbing a windshield with a knife. I miss the cover box. I hope to own this movie soon as I have rented it to complete the challenge preferably on big box VHS.

-Dr. TERROR

No comments:

Post a Comment