Wednesday, March 13, 2013

MONSTERMANIA 24: The DocTerror Recap or How I Spent Too Much to Have Chewbacca Sign Something

First off, Monster-Mania 24 was one Hell of a time. I got to catch up, joke around and just plain dork out with some of my best friends; friends that the interwebs have wrought and spoiled me with the good graces of the magical traveling horror-verse. I am one happy con-head (a novice con-head but a con-head nonetheless). Let's get into it before I vomit from nervous anticipation and nostalgic feelings of longing from one week ago.

I got lost on the way there. This goes to show you that GPS units may know the shortest way even if I know the way to the convention location. I still don't know the last mile or so. So I took a 45 minute detour to the center of the heart of central Jersey. Bah Humbug and oil tankers. Makes you want to move to the friggin' fields of Northwest Jersey where the cows still roam freely and you can buy amazing apple cider... OH WAIT THAT'S WHERE I FUCKING LIVE WHY AM I IN CENTRAL MOTHERFUCKIN' NEW JERSEY LOST AGAIN!?

Bill Moseley's autograph on a Cornbugs CD
Once I arrived at the convention I paid an extra $5 to head in early to see if I could pin down some of my autograph targets. Yes I call them targets (only for the purpose of this recap of course). I entered the signing room and who to my wondering eyes did appear but goddamn Bill Moseley. The Bill Moseley. Otis! Chop Top. I got to meet and talk to and "hang" with one of my horror icons. I nearly forgot to ask him to sign the CD I bought after confusing two of his bands (Cornbugs was with Buckethead dammit!). Bill signed the CD, gave me an amazing limited Halloween Trick or Treat bag specially created for the Cornbug/CD purchases and I was on my way. To wait. For... ever..

Jordan Ladd's autograph
There were four other folks I HAD to meet. Larry Zerner (Shelly from Friday the 13th Part III), T-Dog from the Walking Dead (who's name I only will remember or refer to as T-Dog), Jordan Ladd who was in everything I love from Hostel II to Death Proof to Cabin Fever and Chewbacca... for my daughter because Billy Dee Williams wasn't gonna be there until Saturday anyway. Granted in waiting for the big four guests I got to see Kane Hodder spend some quality time with convention regulars, Danielle Harris show up (much much much shorter than I would have imagined), Jim Parrack (Hoyt from True Blood), Janina Gavankar (also from True Blood), Erin Grey (whom I could not place at all except to slighly glance at her filmography), CJ Graham who seemed super nice but I didn't get to talk with him I simply stood in awe of his size, Steve Dash who played Jason in Friday the 13th Part 2, Tyler Mane (who is taller than tall and terrifying and I didn't know what to have him sign that he wouldn't kill me with later so I ran like a scaredy cat). I saw quite a few people, but I'm not a total autograph hound and am still moderately intimidated by a few people. I just enjoyed seeing some of my favorite horror folks and was kinda sorta... well... star struck.

Jimmy Terror and Larry Zerner
I waited for Larry Zerner who showed up a few minutes after five. He was absolutely amazing. Such a nice man and I even helped him set up his banner. He signed a couple of pictures for me, personally created pics that he may have printed on his home printer the day before. I think everyone needs to meet Shelly. We've all been Shelly and Larry isn't Shelly and neither are any of us... if that makes a remote amount of sense. ... Even if we are really Shelly at some point in a horror loving lives. He's honest. He deserves more respect than maybe I've written about him in the past and let's just say that I may have to write a retraction to a previous article sending up his character, Shelly.

Jimmy Terror and Jordan Ladd (Don't I look happy?)
I moved on to Jordan Ladd. My heart goes pitter patter for Ms. Ladd. She's pretty damn hot though her persona Shana from Death Proof is far from who she is in the really real world. Online line and on more than one occassion I had the opportunity to chat with Nick Lombardo, convention connoisseur and 35mm head and amazing friend to all. We'll have some exciting news soon about a new show he'll be hosting at the Colonial Theater in Phoenixville, PA though regrettably I will not be able to attend due to previous obligations. He ended up taking the picture of Jordan and I which is probably the best thing to happen to all of us because my cellphone pics were getting super old. Jordan took a picture of my Grindhouse tattoo and signed that it was the "best tattoo ever". My nerd levels rose to all time highs. Poor Dr. Dork! Online for Jordan Ladd, somebody asked John Kasser to do the Crypt Keeper voice which he said he would see about followed by a Crypt Keeper cackle that I didn't expect and almost fell on my face.

Jimmy Terror and T-Dog
From there I moved over to the T-Dog line... waiting for a Walking Dead star during a Walking Dead Reunion is painful. Fan boys. Lots of them. Piles of them. You never know if you'll actually get to the  celeb. And I did and he was super friendly and charming and goddammit why did that motherfucker have to die. He's got such amazing charisma. I didn't stand on line to meet other Walking Dead cast members but I enjoyed being among them. Herschel and Oscar and the gang. It was fun. It's good to see the general population/civilians enjoying the con.

Jimmy Terror and Johnny Dickie make angry wrestler faces
I hit up the vendor room. Met up with everyone. Pretty much everyone. Basically a pile of a hord of amazing people. John and Jen Squires who can fruits and vegetables now that they're hitched and also create amazing pieces of horror writing and artwork, Thomas Bryce of Shit Movie Fest and who is one of the best persons to speak to about any subject, anytime anywhere, Kristy Jett of Fright Rags and everywhere horror happens, Thomas A Kaye of Last Blog on Dead-End Street, Ben Scrivens (who lovingly referred to us as the Fright Rags Kids), Jack Knapp (fuckin' finally!... Slasher Cast it up son!) Johnny Dickie (who created Slaughter Tales which still amazes and astounds us all and who is humble and a great guy to talk to... great to meet you!), Rob Dimension aka Mumbles aka Kaiju is his spirit animal mofo! and Matthew Burd (of No Clowning Around who had an amazing showing on Saturday that I was unable to attend, review of Matt's movie The Pizza Man coming soon), Chris Garofolo of Quiltface  (I want to be on one of your screen prints some day) and Chris Moran (his work is genius), Zach Beins (Kristy's man from across the country who is a fucking bad ass), Jesse Nelson and Joseph A. Gervasi of DiabolikDVD, George and Lisa Jordan of VHSPS (who are two of my favorite people on the goddamn planet). even got to meet Newt Wallen who is helming the genius work Midnight Show (I can't stop talking about that movie... you're going to absolutely shit!).  My Monstermania regret was missing Kevin Miller from House of Mysterious Secrets who I couldn't friggin' find and whom I can't wait to hang with. Also, regretted the Lair of Filth writer and compatriot Jude Felton couldn't be there. If I missed everyone it is because I was on cocaine... cause that's what I think I told John Squires I was on (or maybe he inferred I was on which could also be correct). These are people I love. These are good eggs, all of them and I had them all in one basket.

The Pizzaman to be reviewed soon, rare Savage Water Drive In Double Feature, No Clowning Around

So what the Hell did I buy? MonsterMania is my Christmas. I go all out. I save up a part of my tax return and allow myself to go on a moderate buying frenzy. Please enjoy some of the pictures. I spent quite a bit of time at DiabolikDVD picking up VHSHOLE (their Diabolik's produced Action reel VHS clamshell, limited to 20 tapes only release). I had Jesse and Joseph sign it and promised I would never part with it. I won't. I adore it. No flipping here. Can't wait for the sequel. Also got a few Blu's and DVD's: Mystics of Bali, Don't Go In the House, Prophecy, Zombie Lake on Blu, a gorgeous Drive-In double feature.

VHSPS Three on a Meathook and Don't Go in the House from DiabolikDVD
Hit up VHSPS where I picked up Society and Three on a Meathook. If anyone encounters Without Warning on VHS let us know. We need to get these guys a copy asap. Always love their selection and their product is incredible. Do yourself a favor and go pick up a couple discs. You'll see what I mean and they're only $10!

A DVD copy of Rob Dimension's genius No Clowning Around. I own a VHS copy but also wanted a DVD version. I even found out that I was quoted on the box. That's a first and an amazing and thank you Rob Dimension because you always give everyone a chance and we love everything you do. Late Night and beyond!

Quiltface Black Christmas and old Fango and Gorezone
Picked up a Quiltface Black Christmas print. It may be my favorite thing he's ever done... well right up there with the Halloween III TV and the Don't Go In the House burnt edge poster (if you want to sell yours email me at Also, if you happen to talk to Chris, tell him you'd like to see a Dr. TERROR's Blog of Horrors print... limited edition. Signed by the Dr. and Chris in the Doc's blood. Could work.

Each year I pick up a new Jason Voorhees hockey mask. This year I got part IV. KreationX does such an incredible job and I can't wait to pick up the two remaining masks in the set. (after that I have to go elsewhere and I'm still eyeing up those Silver Shamrock reproductions).

Picked up a complete set of Fright Flicks cards. That's my childhood coming staight back. Also got a pile of cheap used DVD's. Quite a few that were missing from my collection and all in great quality. See pics to figure out which ones.

Prophecy from DiabolikDVD and Society from VHSPS
Got only a few magazines despite my intention of buying a small collection. The Fangoria magazine pictured are dreams come true as is Gore Zone number 1! I came very closely to buying the rare Motel Hell cover and even issues number 2 and 3, but I resisted. Another time. Another day. Anyone getting rid of old Fangos, even in fair condition let me know. I need more fodder for my Fango for Dummies column which will return when I stop having a back log of material to review. I love writing that damn column. (same with It Came From 1980x where we feature VHSPS product).

I picked my wife up some goodies from The Little Punk People store. A gorgeous cupcake and a pink robot T for my little Ava. For Bella, the Star Wars nut I picked up an autograph of Chewbacca... let's move on to one of the single strangest experiences of the night.

Walk into a "comedy club" Across from you is Martin Kove with an empty table. That's the friggin even sensei of the Cobra Kai Dojo in Karate Kid. He looked the same only older and that was very intimidating. I didn't want to sweep the knee. I had a problem with that.... so I went over to the vacant table of Chewbacca aka Peter Mayhew. He didn't speak. He did say Thank you. I did pay $30 for his autograph but would have had to pay more for a photo op and didn't think his electronic cigarette would appeal to my 8 year old. Then I turned around. Somewhat let down mind you because I was expecting something bigger. Something more "chewie" and there's fucking Dirk Benedict all aglow looking like FaceMan only much older but just as boisterous and god did that make me happy but how frickin' surreal. I had to leave the room. So I left. I immediately turned a corner, ran into the Misfits signing and felt equally strange (they were talking... the Misfits speak?...whoa!). Without Glenn Danzig being there and with a partial cast of unknown fellas I just felt awkward. It was a no go. I think I was hungry. I think I needed a stiff drink. That's when I decided it was time to get the Hell out of Cherry Hill and make my way home.

VHSHOLE signed by DiabolikDVD

Zombie Air Freshener and VHSHOLE

On my way out the door I had a nice final walk through with Thomas A Kaye, talked with my VHSPS buddies and then had a semi-tearful convo with Kristy Jett. It was a great night. Sure I missed plenty of folks. Plenty of famous people whom I didn't even remember were there but that's okay. Next time. Tyler Labine, the Burning actors, even the neo-Judith Myers and House of 1000 who's who... I missed them and love them and there's time for them and a place in my heart.

KNB Friday the 13th Part 4 Mask and Cornbugs Limited Edition  Trick or Treat Bag

Monstermania 25 is in August though I don't know that I'll be able to make it. Should be headed to Chiller Theater in Parsipanny, NJ the last week in April. Hope to see you there and to meet some more amazing stars. The line up is incredible Udo Kier me!



  1. Can I have the Jason pt. 6 mask? I ruv you rong time?? five bucky???

    Mikael : P

  2. I do not as of yet own a part 6 mask. Check out Cheap. Awesome. Not as "thick" as I would like them to be but mine are for a once a year Halloween romp and to display on mannequins heads some day when I have a man cave ie when I grow up.

  3. I think you do have to retract your previous "Shelly" post. Great meeting you too.

    1. I plan on it. It was a pleasure to meet you and I hope more horror fans have the chance.

    2. Wanted to update you on the retraction. Here's the link to my most recent post about the subject hoping to clarify it a bit and definitely re-visit the whole thing.

  4. I was set up there....too bad I missed you!