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Saturday, March 23, 2013

Sexcula (1974): Horror Porn from Canada Paid for By Canada

I have enjoyed my share of porn, enjoyed porn of all types, genres and eras and quite honestly have no problem with porn. The porn industry has its own set of flaws but what industry doesn't My favorite era of adult filmmaking is the 1980's when the star system was truly established. Ginger Lynn, Traci Lords, Amber Lynn, Nina Hartley... those were like my Charlie's friggin' Angels growing up. Jeremy, Holmes, Reems, Gillis... my heroes. Maybe they still are I'm not sure. I don't usually write about adult entertainment on DOCTERROR.com because I don't typically have a chance to review horror related porn material, parodies or othewise. Sexcula as released by Impulse Pictures isn't of my favorite era of pornography but it offers more than just a bit of the old in-out, in-out. It's a horror porn from Canada, funded by the Canadian government in part and recently dug up outta the vaults in the Canadian film archive. Did I mention it's horror porn? Let's go down on this mofo.

Sexcula is a story that takes a little bit of every horror movie to come up with a well rounded fuck fest. You get the "man in an ape suit" subgenre, "Dracula" in the form of the dear Countes Sexcula (sex therapist and mad scientist to monsters and in fact the world). There's a sex-bot programmed for your pleasure only. A feeble minded automaton, "hunchback" Orgie who's a sex fiend without a hole to put his willie in (all the while stalked by the aforementioned man in an ape suit. The basic premise is that Sexcula must assist her cousin to assist her in "turning on" her male sex slave, whom she created. Plot is ancillary. If you're watching for a narrative than either you have no libido or you dislike 70's pornography ie you are terrified of jungle bush. Well that or you're a horror movie reviewer who is intrigued by the back story of said porno movie from 1974 that's only just seeing a release and has distinctly horror elements. Then maybe you care more about the plot than the gallons of fluids being smeared across the screen.


It's a puerno movie from 1974. This is riding the newly empowered porno chic movement, but alas, still doesn't have the proper budget to create a true Hollywood style film in terms of quality. You're looking at low budget, bad lighting, worse acting and special effects that Ed Wood might scoff at. In fact you might mistake this for one of Ed Wood's latter works if there wasn't so many scenes of hardcore sex. It isn't chic. It isn't pretty. It's porn. Horror porn with re-emergent Universal sensibilities riding on the heels of the Hammer horror Universal resurgence and a general irreverence that must be a Canadian export. 

Some of the highlights include (you might consider these spoilers):

-An gorilla seductively dancing with and raping and being raped by Countess Sexcula.
-an orgy at a wedding 
-a blood draining via cock
-a peace symbol trust purposely at the screen post coitus. 
- face fucking.
- sex-bot rape (which really can't exist given the purpose, design and inability of the sex bot to form a response other than yes)


The tag line says it all: "She'll suck more than your blood!" Lots of sucking. Lots of fucking. Dancing. Hypothesizing. Mad Scientist sexuality. Some of it might feel a bit Rocky Horror sans the music numbers.I may be an 80's porn man, but I sure do dig the sensibilities of a finely grown jungle between a woman's legs. 

What's missing from the Impulse release is a visual or audio narrative. There's a well-written insert  detailing the archaeological history of Sexcula by Dimitrios Otis and comic strip detailing the plot of Sexcula a la Rick Trembles. I still would like to have seen something on the disc itself. A movie this lost has a story. "Those Evil Deeds of Countess Sexcula..." 

You can stop by Impulse by way of Synapse HERE. You can order it from DiabolikDVD HERE (even if they appear out of stock most likely it's in pre-order phase due to April 9th release date. 



See Sexcula... if you dare. From Frog Productions (who's title bumper is hilarious). 

-Dr. TERROR... "I have no feelings; I'm not programmed to respond emotionally"

Note: I also thought about subtitling this review "Canada Wet" and then amending the famous carbonated beverage brand's logo to fit the title. Too busy finding my tissue box to properly Photoshop anything. 

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