Monday, June 24, 2013

World War Z: Word War Zeke Word Vs. World War Zed Word

I read a review posted on CNN today that was written by this fella who writes reviews for I don't know this person. Never read him before. I only know that his review stated that World War Z is the best zombie flick since Dawn of the Dead. It pretended as if years of zombie movies didn't even exist. Good movies. Solid zombie canon. I read it, and then somehow got offended by it as if I had made a pivotal zombie movie during said period. I'm pretty sure I hope I never read this motherfucker's reviews again because I can't understand how a paid writer gets away with the complete load of titty fuck cum that this reviewer thought he could get away with.

Wow, that felt good. I've been thinking the most horrible thoughts. Much worse than posted above.

Let's talk about World War Z. That would be the zombie movie starring Brad Pitt in the lead role as a UN Taskforce Specialist on a Contagion, find infected person 0 mission. I'll tell you right now that I didn't hate World War Z, but I friggin despised the trailer, the poster art and the marketing campaign. That doesn't mean ya'll didn't like it or at least some of you did. You certainly bought enough tickets to see it. What's more is that the overwhelming word on the horror street/Facebok social media land seemed to dictate that everyone had already seen the picture because there were so many opinions prior to its release that you'd think it was leaked on Pirate Bay a year ago. I can't lie and say I didn't have my doubts. Again, bad marketing campaign in this horror fans eyes, but then again, I'm probably not the target audience that need to have commercials spewed at him to get his ass in the seat. They knew I'd be there anyway.

Everyone's calling it a good popcorn movie. Yes. It is. You'll eat popcorn while watching it and you'll enjoy it because it's entertaining. It's a movie. It is not a pivotal zombie film. Who needs another new spin on the zed genre anyway. Allow yourself to be entertained and enjoy the simple fact that you're seeing a zombie movie in the theater.It's really a composite of several successful zombie and non-zombie infection movies. It's nice to be able to try and gross out your date... and that's where I get unfriendly (but I'll be more friendly later so don't worry about this being a negative rant).

Zombie movie = gore. That's what I want. That's not what everyone wants, but there's more gore on television on The Walking Dead and pretty much every other show you can see on your boob tube. I truly wish I could go to a theater and seeing a disgusting rotty zombie film that makes me want to puke. I guess most people don't necessarily want that experience because between this and Warm Bodies, the zombie genre is going tame... on the big screen anyway. Somebody go dig up Lucio Fulci and wheel his casket over to a cinema, sit him down (nicely) and have him watch World War Z. The first thing he'll say is, "did it make that large budget back because that's what filmmaking is about?" Second thing he'll do is ask where the gut regurgitation homage is at. I like gore. I like gory zombie movies, and I didn't expect anything more than what I got from World War Z, but dammit, I had my testicles crossed. So many heads... smashed... but unseen.  Gorehounds stay home.

Fans of the novel... this is supposed to be really different. From I understand the film misses the point of the book completely though I can't speak to that only owning a copy and never having read it. I will someday. I bet I'll enjoy it. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

Best part of the movie... the music. Marco Beltrami as composer alongside Muse have created music that is reminiscent of one of the best eras of zombie filmmaking. Beltrami said he is heavily influenced by Ennio Morricone, but I think he's watched quite a few Italian zombie pictures to boot. You'll love this if you love the 70's prog scores of Italy. I'm deeply impressed. The opening credit sequence was perhaps my favorite part of the movie. I debated buying the movie to enjoy the credit sequence and the score again. That won't happen. I'll just buy the CD instead.

This... looked... fuck bad.

Worst part about the movie... CG-fucking-I. CGI... fuck you. That's where I'm at. I'm not qualifying it, but that's what made the trailer look like a urinal cake, and it's what almost destroyed the movie. Running peope/zombies generated in a computer make movies look, generally, like a video game and my suspension of belief is completely challenged by this. I'd prefer fake looking practical over fake looking CGI anyday. Non CG zombie make up? Boring, used up, unimpressive and maybe worse than generic.

All acting solid. In fact, that's why I enjoyed the movie. Brad Pitt was good. His family was good. This worked for me.

About 2/3rd's through the movie the thing shuts down and drags... the fuck... along... at a speed that might commonly be associated with Romero zombies. You... just.... can't... wait... for... the.. movie... to... PICK THE FUCK BACK UP. Then it does, the plot twists over itself, and you feel like you actually saw a movie.

It's not the worst shit I've seen. Check out the score. Wait for it on cable or rental or however you people get your movies now. No need to hit the theater for this one. I mean ... you could always go to the theater, pull out your cell phone and watch videos of gory zombie movies while you watch World War Z to make it FEEL gory. That could work. It'd be better than watching you text how bored you are during the aforementioned lull. I left the theater feeling a little underwhelmed, but then again my expectations weren't set overly high. I wasn't let down. I had a wee bit of hope that their would be more red stuff. Denied.


Quick quotes from the reviewer mentioned in my opening paragraph:

"Just about every zombie movie I can think of is set, for the most part, in tightly defined spaces where groups of survivors huddle to fend off the flesh-hungry hordes outside."


""World War Z," which may be the most entertaining and accomplished zombie thriller since George A. Romero's "Dawn of the Dead" (1979)'

Dr. TERROR comment: This Man Has No Dick (to quote Peter Venkman)

"It's vast and sprawling and spectacular; it's the first truly globalized orgy of the undead."


Actually, just read it horror fans... I seriously cannot believe this is the guy who got to review the new zombie movie.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Ninja III: The Domination - Scream Factory Appropriate?

I’m not in the habit of bad mouthing a product, but I’m not entirely sure why Scream Factory released Ninja III. It doesn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the line up comprised of 70’s and 80’s horror classics. Sure, some of them have a Sci-Fi twist, but most of these titles are very straight forward. Ninja on the other hand, not so much.

This style of 80’s action/martial art story is beloved and has a cult following. I agree that the film should get a release, but maybe it would be better to keep that over on the Shout Factory side of the coin. How does this fit in with movies like The Howling, Life Force, Funhouse, Prison… just that it’s a movie from the 80’s? Are we releasing National Lampoon’s Vacation next? If we’re going to tackle a flick that has to be martial art related, why not have a some horror/Sci-Fi connection like say… I don’t know… Big Trouble in Little China (I realize this may be out of reach from a distro rights perspective).

Ninja III comes off like a bad rip-off of Big Trouble in Little China rip-off, but the only problem is that Ninja III came out in 1984 predating Big Trouble by two years. I suppose that makes Ninja III the guiding star regardless of whether Carpenter saw it or not. It falls thimble short of Big Trouble. 80’s hair babes are my cup of tea, but there really wasn’t much to write home about. The fight sequences are watered down. The story, basic. The cover art is blah and could definitely use a Milliner makeover from the original 80’s art and the special features non-existent. Was this meant to be a Shout release and then everyone realized they might have a market Scream side due to the Carpenter cross appeal? Where are the special features?

To end on a positive note because I despise writing purely negative reviews, Ninja III: Domination is campy. Someone in the mood for light-hearted 80’s action fare might laugh it off with a couple of beers. The picture quality is actually friggin’ amazing. I just wish there was more on screen for me. I guess they all can’t be horror flicks, but I guess I thought that was the point of Scream Factory. I’m not Ninja III’s intended audience. Sure I dig some of Sam Firstenberg’s other efforts. Cyborg, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo… Delta Force 3. Still, I think this release will be unimpressive to fans of the movie. Not much meat.

If we’re going for a wish list of movies that need a S.F. release, there’s plenty to be had. Hell, after seeing Radioactive Dreams I was pretty certain Scream was the only label I’d want to see distro that sucker, but it doesn’t really fit. Let’s be consistent. The rest of the summer and autumn line up clearly appeal my sensibilities with the exception of Dark Angel aka I Come in Peace (what’s wrong guys, couldn’t get the rights to the better naming convention?).

Love seeing that Cannon bumper on a movie though. Give ya chills.


Friday, June 21, 2013

THERE GOES YOUR WALLET! Fund the Black Devil Doll Sitcom

Do you know what Black Devil Doll is? Have you seen the crazy? The outlandish? The complete debauch? The fun and the games? Well Black Devil Doll ain't dead yet. The makers of Black Devil Doll are trying to put together a new six episode series to offend you in the best way possible. There Goes the Neighborhood - The Black Devil Doll Sitcom of Outrageous Proportions needs funding and have turned to IndieGoGo to pick your pocket (and it ain't even Christmas, sucka). Maybe it's time you considered giving back to the folks that brought you a cult classic that cripples your good senses and turns your morals inside out. These are people who love the horror community, support the horror community and now want the horror community to return a little love to the coffers of creativity.

Stop by the IndieGoGo site and fund them if you have the means. If you do not have any spare chump change then make sure you at least spread the site around. Somebody's gonna get this thing made. $75,000 ain't a whole lotta money when you're talking about an over the top, politically incorrect doll movie. 
Smoke some ganja, drink some Cobra then go by the site and blow some dough. It's better than half the shit you'll spend your money on drunk and high on Amazon. 

This is an easy decision once you see the trailer.


Monday, June 17, 2013

Baggage Releasing at Monster Mania in August. Pre-Order Up Now

I want to send out some love and support to Rob Dimension who has just completed work on Baggage, a film that he wrote and starred in, directed by Jeremiah Kipp. This August you'll have the chance to view the new movie they put together. Full release below (I have not as of yet seen the movie). Check out the premise and know that the last movie that Dimension put together, No Clowning Around, was really disturbing and created some very emotionally powerful scenes that continue to stick with me. Great packaging too (Glad I picked up the VHS release).

Go support the movie and pre-order now!

- Dr. T

BAGGAGE will be released on Friday, August 16th, 2013. This will be available at Monster-Mania Convention in Cherry Hill, NJ. Rob and Kim Dimension will be on hand to talk about the film all weekend long. Plus, the Dimension's will have posters and T-shirts from both BAGGAGE and NO CLOWNING AROUND.

DVD artwork may vary


$8.00 plus $3.00 shipping in US

Details - The DVD will contain the 15 minute short film "baggage", plus their award winning film "No Clowning Around". Behind the scenes, Interviews and commentary will also be included.  

Release date - Aug 16, 2013


BAGGAGE stars Rob Dimension, Ilaria Malvezzi, Kim Dimension, Jerry Janda, Amber Marchese,  Thomas Mendolia and Chris Raddatz. 

Writer and Screenplay : Rob Dimension
Story Concept : Sal Valente
Director : Jeremiah Kipp
                                        Director of Cinematography/Editor : Jeffrey Scott Gould
Assistant Director of Cinematography : Steve Adams
Executive Producer : Kim Dimension
Associate Producer : Bill Wilusz
Soundtrack/Composer : Steve Vil and Burn the Darkness
Photographer : Deirdre Kinnevy (DeeKae Imagery)/ Kristen Adams
Artwork : Brian Mitchell (Brian Mitchell's Creative Mind)

BAGGAGE is the short film by writer/lead actor Rob Dimension, that will make you rethink the term "normal". Dimension plays Benjamin, a man who seems to live a normal life; he goes to work, has a happy home life and lives in the middle of clean cut America. This 15 minute film follows a day in the life; witness what happens when an incident breaks down Benjamin's "normal" life. 

BAGGAGE is directed by Jeremiah Kipp (CRESTFALLEN, CONTACT, THE DAYS GOD SLEPT). Kipp had this to say about BAGGAGE, “BAGGAGE immediately captured my interest as a beautiful and macabre tale of a man haunted by desire. It’s got the feverish, melancholy intensity of an Edgar Allan Poe story, but told in a modern and transgressive way. Rob wanted a genre film that was aesthetically stunning, and combined with the visual sensibility of our cinematographer Jeffrey Gould, we were going for a style that felt like Alfred Hitchcock circa 1960: Bold camera angles, a constantly moving camera to sustain the tension and unnerving God’s-eye-view overhead shots that make Benjamin feel small and oppressed. Every image should resonate with the beauty of a painting, but one where if you look at it too closely, you realize you’re caught up in the swirls of a nightmare.”

Dimension had this to add, “Having Jeremiah want to be a part of this and help lead the film in the right direction solidifies that we are on to something good. Kipp can see the vision I’ve written, and he pushes me beyond my safe place. We have an amazing cast and crew involved, and the atmosphere transcends modern horror with a very vintage, elegant style.”

Sunday, June 16, 2013

This is the End: Beginning of Date Night Horror Cycle Resurgence?

I've been  thinking about This is the End. I loved the trailer and have been excited to see it since I found out it was coming out this weekend. I think I was so focused on V/H/S/2 and Hatchet 3 that somehow it completely escaped me that I would actually have to step into a theater this weekend. That meant that perhaps I didn't have the adequate amount of gusto built up to go see it until the internet grabbed my head and said in a resounding voice, "LOOK AT ME, TEACHER". Then the Dead Air guys started talking and we decided that a podcast was in order because guess what... it actually has really real horror content! It's late, and I really don't wanna formally review this, but I wanna dish out some thoughts. So... uh... see below. (Just being honest)

The opening scene to this movie is so funny and perhaps more relevant to my life than any other in the film. It made a promise to me. That promise was that the rest of the movie was going to be as funny or funnier than the opening sequence, and it delivered on many occasions. You don't need to have done drugs in your youth or even before the movie to enjoy it, but the humor will be even more intense if you did. You don't need to like horror flicks to enjoy this movie or laugh at it, but you'll understand the jokes better (I'm looking at you Mr. Polanski).

About half way through the movie you're going to think, "Wow, this is getting fucking long"... or maybe you won't but I did. I said those words in my head. Then it keeps going. That may be my Red Bull wearing off, or it simply could be that the first half of the movie before the major transitional/conflict events happen are significantly funnier than those events during the conflict/post transition. So the first half is a rock solid comedic battle of amazing jokes and gags and humor of every sort that works perfectly. Actors are spot on, and the chemistry is near the Heisenberg making the blue stuff. The second half falls into an identity crisis. Half humor. Half action using themes you will be very familiar with and I tuned out... until I jumped out of my seat and was forced to pay attention again.. then I zoned again.. then I laughed... zoned... laughed... laughed... zoned... fin.

There's gore. It's good. It's Greg Nicotero which I didn't know at first but actually guessed it was him. I'm getting good at this new wave effects guy shit (I used to be able to spot Savini). The gore is fun. The audience clapped and laughed and "got it". That's good. That continues the 2013 theme that this is a gore year. The year of gore. I am most pleased. There's a whole half of a year left with nothing but ghost stories and home invasion flicks so we could be let down. There are effects/creations/CGI that are a bit video gamey, but I actually enjoyed it for a change. It felt like I was on the cover of a Dio album or maybe Mercyful Fate (say nothing of the multiple uses of Black Sabbath songs to rock the panties off this bitch).

Seth Rogan is great. James Franco is great... everyone's just fucking great. I can barely remember everyone's names. Michael Cera... may now be one of my favorite funny men in the biz. I mean, I've enjoyed him, but now I think that I need to go back and rewatch most of his pictures to see if I missed any good bits.

So despite the whole second half of the film being inconsistent or at least not as consistent as the first half, I enjoyed this movie, would recommend it and think that horror fans will enjoy it the most. You don't have to be a horror fan to dig it, but it can help at times. I do not believe this to be the next Shaun of the Dead. I do think it is a very clever comedy that has horror elements. Some kind of strange coming of age flick... with a post-apocalypse (as Shaun of the Dead was a Love story... with zombies).

Final thoughts: This movie made me want to smoke weed and do drugs. I'm pretty sure I have THC in my system after watching it. Lots. Frights Rags stands to make a lot of money selling that awesome Zombie vs. Shark T-shirt and it's still as genius as when Zornow created it many moons ago. That's a good thing. This could be... the return of the date night horror cycle. Definitely hard enough to get the guys in the seat, but laughable enough to get the bra off and maybe a hand in the jean line. Again, this is really a horror picture, but it has enough horror in it that I'll get confused and put the cover box back on the shelf in the wrong section while working in the  mom and pop video store in my mind.


Thursday, June 13, 2013

Hatchet III: The Year of THE GORE Continues!

I have hated the first two Hatchet films. This may surprise just about every goddamn one of you except those of you who have heard me go on mini-confessionals on Facebook. Why did I not enjoy the first two installments in this series that has now been made into a trilogy? It felt forced. It took all that I loved about the late 80's slasher cycle and cleverly pasted it together, hired all my favorite people to perform in it but in a somewhat lackluster fashion and then tried to win me over with clever kills. The clever, disgusting, amazing kills have always worked for me with this series. There is no question that the effects work is top notch, that Kane Hodder performs extremely well and coordinates all of the stunts perfectly.  Adam Green is a gore man. I myself am a gore man. I enjoy his other works just fine outside of the Hatchet series. Well, I now enjoy the Hatchet series or at least I've taken my first step in that direction. Hatchet III is simply put... fucking awesome.

So what has turned me off about the first two? Figuring that out for real would make me feel less in need of therapy. It's the character, Victor Crowley, that I have detested so much. The look. The roar. The gate. I didn't like Victor Crowley did not appeal to me in the same way that a Jason Voorhees or Fred Kruger appealed. Jason was quiet. Cool mask. Great kills. Fred was obnoxious and creative. Nice glove. Amazing kills. Crowley has the kills, but there's nothing special "attracting" me to him. He just big dumb strength. His guttural yelping is Frankenstein, but dammit he isn't Frankie! The strangest thing that comes out of me going through this analysis over and over again is it's always something different. There's always a new reason why I can't feel Hatchet I and II. I'll watch them again and I won't even mention the growl. Maybe it's like Piranha 3-DD. Maybe it's bad timing meeting up with an expectation level that is not befitting of a movie like Hatchet. Maybe it's a standard set that cannot be reached, unattainable (notice I didn't say a "high" standard).

I think that this period of my life, the Hatchet hating period, has ended because in watching Hatchet III I am now a very satisfied horror fan. Did Victor undergo some  transformation or makeover to which I am now drawn to him? Have I become more sympathetic in my old age? No. I am, in fact, becoming the cynic my parents told me I would be. What happened was I got to sit down and enjoy a Hatchet movie without hype or critique, without the weight of ten thousand screaming slasher fans opining on the film. I was able to sit down and enjoy it. Splat on screen and creative kill after creative kill and overdramatic acting, intentionally funny at times.

Danielle Harris and co. all put on standard Hatchet performances. There is no reinvention of the wheel. No Tony Todd this time around which may actually be a reason I didn't like Hatchet II... Tony just didn't do it for me. This time you have Zach Galligan (you know... Gremlins... Waxwork), Caroline Williams (um... STRETCH! from Texas Chainsaw Massacre II) and Derek Mears (the OTHER Jason Voorhees actor in the film). I like these people. A lot. I was just thinking about Caroline Williams after watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre II at Hudson Horror Show this past week and thinking that I needed her in more movies. Horror movies. Halloween II, sure, but let's get her in a starring role.

I'm gonna keep this simple because I just want you to go watch this movie. I laughed when I was supposed to laugh because the movie is funny with the type of black humor I enjoy. I cringed ever so slightly as bodies were strewn about the screen in that way that people sometimes cringe when they are imagining having their own limbs strewn about the screen. There was ample gore. Fans of the Hatchet series will be happy, and now I, once again, will have to go revisit the entire series to see if I still dislike the first two installments. This is actually a yearly event for me. Someone tells me how much I will love Hatchet. I contradict them. They make a case. I watch it. My brain makes up it's mind. Hatchet III is worth the time you'll spend to find a theater to see it, but you'll be able to find it VOD easier than on the big screen. Maybe that's the way it needs to be right now to keep the gore level high.

That's why I loved it. I'm a gorehound, and I feel hungry for meat. This movie should make it into my top ten for the year. Easily.

One last note. I do not feel that my dislike for the first two films has anything to do with Adam Green making a bad movie. He makes great entertainment. I'm even warming up to Holliston (did you see that Christmas Special!?). Sometimes I like movies that are absolutely terrible. I have heard that said on more than one occasion. I guess your love for a horror movie is no different than the love an actual person. You can't help who you love.


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

SUCKERFISH Hitting a NYC Stage

Back when Suckerfish was in Los Angeles we posted about it. I wanted to let you know that the NYC area now has the chance to catch this stage show.  SUCKERFISH is coming.

Full release below:


Thomas Jane and Raw Studios In Association with Midtown International Theatre Festival Presents:

SUCKERFISH a play by WT Underwood.

Starring: Damian Maffei (Christmas with the Dead, Closed for the Season), Adam Smith Jr., Jonathan Reed Wexler and Andrea Boehlke (CBS Survivor 2011-2013)

Directed by Patrick J. Kennedy
Running Time: 60 Minutes

On a city street corner, between madness and sanity, all that stands in the way of Hank and freedom is a certifiable homeless man, and a pay phone that can't hear out.

The victim of a hit and run, citizen Hank (Maffei) finds himself sprawled out on a city street corner, bleeding from his head, ignored by passersby. Mind and body are put to the test as his one hope of rescue lies mere feet away in the form of a payphone.

The problem is that this payphone is guarded by a homeless man (Smith Jr.) named "Dildohead"... And it can't hear out. An imposter (Wexler) and a misplaced acquaintance (Boehlke) torture the citizen with violence and a forgotten truth. 

You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over... Into Suckerfish.

Suckerfish is performing Wednesday July 17, Thursday 18 at10:00pm and Sunday July 21 at 7:00pm at the Main Stage Theatre of Workshop Theatre. 312 West 36th Street. 4th Floor, New York, NY 10018 as part of the Midtown International Theatre Festival. Tickets ar $15 and Available through or at the box office located at the theatres and open during festival hours beginning July 15.


H.G. Lewis Needs Your Money So He Can Give You MORE GORE!!!

Herschell Gordon Lewis gave us gore. I mean I'm sure you got iHnto the blood red stuff somehow, someway with someone behind the lens showing you what you'd been missing watching Leave It to Beaver. One fateful day in my uncle's basement I watched Pieces, Africa Blood and Guts, Make Them Die Slowly and Blood Feast. I've been a Crayola man ever since. By Crayola I am referring to the color of the blood used in H.G.Lewis pictures, the color of Crayola red paint.

It's come time for Mr. Lewis to make a new movie and he needs your help. Lewis and Mugworth Productions have an IndieGoGo site up that's primed to receive your funds. If you can't donate money, spread the word. That's all we're asking.

Oh and th ename... ZOMBIFICADOR... Full release notes below. Looks like some biggie big names will be involved (if you needed a name larger than Lewis').

Horror anthology Zombificador launches Indiegogo campaign
H. G. Lewis, Bill Moseley, Michael Berryman Attached

Mugworth Productions has launched an Indiegogo crowdfunding campaign to raise money for their latest production, a horror anthology titled Zombificador. Supporters can donate anywhere from $1 to $5,000. Perks include producer credits, limited edition Blu-rays, autographed posters and scripts, memorabilia and even an appearance the movie. All contributors are also invited to appear in a DVD featurette.

Upon successfully securing the funding, iconic filmmaker Herschell Gordon Lewis has agreed to return to the director's chair for Zombificador. Lewis is affectionately known as the "Godfather of Gore" after making such classic splatter fests as Two Thousand Maniacs, Blood Feast, Color Me Blood Red and The Wizard of Gore. Now he's ready to create what promises to be his bloodiest movie ever!

Lewis will direct from a script written by Marc Fernandez. Zombificador is an old-fashioned anthology movie with five interconnecting stories. From big, fat monsters with the ability of transforming people into savage creatures, to human-sized mutant bugs, along with talking puppets and silent psycho killers, Zombificador has it all. The movie will utilize traditional, practical special effects.

Genre favorites Bill Moseley (The Devil's Rejects, Repo! The Genetic Opera), Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) and Todd Farmer (My Bloody Valentine, Jason X) are attached to star in the film. Other recognizable faces are in talks to be involved.

With a great filmmaker, script and cast all in place, the only thing missing from Zombificador is funding. Production will begin as soon as financing is in place, so bid generously at

Follow Zombificador on Twitter and Facebook for updates on the crowdfunding campaign and the film

Let's do some good, horror people.


Monday, June 10, 2013

Hudson Horror Show 7: House by the Infra-Man

Hudson Horror Show 7 has come to a close, and the guys put on a damn fine show per my expectation. HHS specializes in doing a little something for everyone. You get to laugh and scream and have a damn good time. HHS7 sold out its remaining tickets moments after the doors opened on show day. If you were not in attendance I bet you'd love to know what you missed behind closed doors. That's why I'm here. I'm a spy in the house of horrors. Let's break it down like DJ Lance straight outta Yo Gabba Gabba.

I'd go to Hudson Horror Show regardless of what they put on the screen. Having a cavalcade of awesome features doesn't hurt, and of course have a mysterious movie that's only announced a week or so before the horror-thon piques your interest. The announced four were Army of Darkness, Texas Chainsaw Massacre II, Infra-Man and Gone with the Pople leaving one slot open to fill with pretty much anything. The Hudson Horror guys have screened everything from Pieces to Cannibal Holocaust to Alligator to Black Christmas. What could it possibly be? With  a mystery movie in the running I always hope for Tourist Trap or Motel Hell. I've never seen either movie on the big screen, and that needs to be remedied. Knowing that a print of Tourist Trap is out there and that it has been screened at festivals keeps my hopes strong. One day I'll see the Chuck Connors masterpiece on gorgeous 35mm. Not this time though. This time we went straight across the pond and went right for the boot. Italy.

Hey look! There I am with my arms crossed!
House by the Cemetery was the mystery movie. This is old news I suppose at this point, but it was perhaps the most important news to this Italian horror geek. After it was announced I made more than a few ingratiated posts both on the Dr. Terror Facebook page and over on the Hudson Horror Show page and founders' pages. I had missed House by the Cemetery when it screened a few years back at the Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horror-thon due to an illness at my home that forced me to leave the event early. I missed half of Friday the 13th Part II, Bug and of course, the Fulci classic, one of the three Gates of Hell trilogy films. I was heartbroken to miss it the first time. I was overjoyed to see it at Hudson Horror Show. That's how the festival opened up. Let's talk about the movies. Then we'll get into my "extracurriculars". 

Hudson Horror Show balances out their film selection with trailer fillers. The show was to open with the trailer for an indie production of Giant Spider. Unfortunately technical difficulties arose and, and we were unable to view the trailer. The movie can be purchased HERE and make sure you check out the music. The creators were on hand to promote and sell the film. I can tell you that we were able to watch a short bit of some of their other works on a trailer reel, and these guys are mondo talented (also available on the link above). Monster movies are alive and well and in capable hands.  The second trailer was another independent production, Midnight Show. Now if you read this frickin' thing you know that I have a big rubbery one for Midnight Show. Ever since I had the opportunity to see an early test, trailer reel at the Crystal Plumage Films showing of Demons/Bronx Warriors I've been hooked, following the filmmakers... stalking them. Watching their every goddamn move. The newly designed, Hudson Horror Show special trailer reel featured Her Time of the Month, Planet Mirror Ball and GOREGY. The audience response was energetic and made me wish Midnight Show as in the line up... again. Once this thing's finished it's gonna be a hit. It has to be. You can't stop laughing. You'll DIE of laughter! Check 'em out HERE on FaceBook and make sure to peruse their previously released trailers. 

There was an eclectic assortment of trailers throughout the rest of the night, that seemed to stretch out of the horror genre and into quite a few other related cult or exploitation categories. It's always nice to get turned on to new things. Even movies featuring trained Dobermans.

You need to see this for yourself:

House by the Cemetery - The crowd response was enthusastic though I wondered how many Italian Horror fans were in attendance. The girls behind me seemed to be quite disturbed the Fulci gore/blood bath. It entertained me to hear them disgusted. That's probaby not a nice thing for me to say, but crowd recation is half the reason you go to these things You can always watch House by the Cemetery in your living your, but you probably won't listen to yourself gasp at the brutality. Everyone loved the bad dubbing. That's a given with House by the Cemetery; it's something for which the movie is infamous. Strangely enough I found myself wondering what it would have been like to watch this with a more "civilian" crowd; a crowd that could be frightened by it instead of induced to laugh. A good choice. A great way to begin the show. Some of the best scratching of any print I've viewed at any of the horror-thons in Poughkeepsie or elsewhere.

Gone with the Pope - I avoided the trailer to this one and even refrained from reading anything about it. All I knew is that it was a Grindhouse Releasing distribution which definitely votes well for it being worth a watch. While I can safely say that it was not my favorite movie of the night, it didn't offer laugh or two. Watching ex-cons haphazardly kidnap the Pope to comedic effect was not exactly what I had in mind for a horror show. The audience enjoyed it. I laughed too. This one probalby doesn't fit within the standard "Doc Terror" wheelhouse. I suppose the story goes that the movie was unfinished for years and then was sort of pieced together from a nearly finished product. It felt disjointed. 

Infra-Man - before seeing this movie I was probably least excited to catch this on the big screen. Kaiju are growing on me, but it's all still new to me. Sure I dig the big names like Godzilla just fine, but when it comes to the more obscure pictures my knowledge base just falls apart. I have no frame of reference. This turned out to be a great surprise and perhaps the highlight of my evening (maybe even beyond seeing House by the Cemetery... no... YES!). Off the wall movie about a guy who has to go through a process to infuse himself with a bionic, cyborg esque suit of power, offer him tremendous strength and all to fight a pile of aliens each with its own super power. It was hoakie and looked completely dated; like the great great great grandfather of a Power Ranger.  And I loved it and laughed at it and I think everyone had a good time. Many Infra-Man fans were made that day I can tell you.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre II - Another film I had been longing to see on the big screen. I missed a screening of this as done by Exhumed Films in Philly this year featuring Bill Moseley as a special guest. I guess I was happy to meet Bill later at Monster Mania, but it was nice to right that wrong. I love TCMII. It's my favorite entry in the series. I love the gore and the Hopper, the Moseley and Stretch. The crazed chainsaw falic metaphor and the excellent soundtrack that I happily own on vinyl. This much gore on such a big screen is exciting, especially with Savini at the helm. Seeing this one, larger than life in front of you with a bunch of fans was a treat. I remembered the first time I watched it on VHS many years back. I remember re-renting it over and over again. I had never seen it like this and it completed the movie for me. While I loved the Blu-ray release this past year, 35mm is more exciting. The girls behind actually screamed full title boogie out loud. That's the second time I've heard that happen this year. The other time... the new Evil Dead. 

Army of Darkness - Sadly I had to leave to make to back to Jersey. The two hour ride home is fun and all but with a 19 month old at home, I still seem to be suffering sleepless nights and had to be home by 1am or so. I had missed this when it was initially released because my mother didn't want me to see it. She had no idea the crazed shit I had seen already. It holds a special place in my heart having been the center piece to many of my own personal horror-thons when I was much younger. It's a crowd please and a true comedy. 

The overall mix of movies trended toward comedy/black comedy which is fine. You need to give people something to feel good about and not every show can feature a vomit bag and patrons leaving the theater to actually puke. I suppose I usually want to see something a little more shocking and while House by the Cemetery and TCMII have enough gore to keep my appetite satiated, I think that Gone with the Pope may have pulled me out of the experience. It was so off genre that it brought me back into the theater rather than steeping me in celluloid. That's not to say it wasn't an excellent time. This show had two intenes moments for me as a theater patron; seeing House by the Cemetery on the big screen and learning that I adore Infra-Man. I think I was looking for a little more of the "horror" in the Hudson Horror Show. 

From our friends at HHS:

Beyond the movies I had a terrific time hanging out with friends and checking out a buffet of vendor tables. Everything from T-shirts to movies and vinyl, DVD, art, books... it's almost like a mini-con vendor room. I snagged a Return of the Living Dead Part II vinyl promo copy, Paganini Horror on VHS PAL, a copy of issue 3 of 68 Jungle Jim signed by the great Jeff Zornow who was present, a fun poster from Monster Are Good and a DVD triple threat of Bava films. Getting to chat with the my friends at VHSPS,  House of Myserious Secrets (who is sponsoring a giveaway for our upcoming Italian Horror Week), Tad Lager, graphic artist and friend as well as Jude Felton of the Lair of Filth. Meeting up with Carl Mazzella and Chris Beaumont was an absolute treat; new friends that I hope to see at future conventions and Hudson Horror Shows. 

The end of the night found  a bunch of us sitting around, "talking shop" and pretty much nerding out. I can safely say that it was at this time that I wished that I was a bigger part of this experience. Something felt like it was missing, talking to vendors who put their heart and soul into making their businesses work and helping to create the horror experience of generations of horror fans. Too much caffeine and a whole lotta darkness will get you thinking late into the evening after watching people scream for hours. The ride home was half trying to keep my eyes open and half wondering how I would be involved in any of this horror-verse in the future. Perhaps making it more of my life rather than simply carving out a spot on the weekends and after the kids hit the sack. Hudson Horror Show... Heavy, man. 

Hudson Horror Show 8... look for it soon. My guess would be end of November/Decemeber. We are not going to want to miss this. Make sure you're following them on Facebook, buy tickets early HERE when they go on sale and share their posts as they make them available. This thing is growing and it's great. It deserves its greatness. 


Special thanks to the guys at Hudson Horror Show for being a tremendous bunch of guys putting on another amazing show full of memories. Brothers in 35mm!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

V/H/S/2: You Were Kind, You Rewound.

Let's leave V/H/S behind for a second...

V/H/S/2. That's where we're at right now. It's available in limited theatrical and VOD right now on your TV at home though not on mylar. Let's give this sequel its own life, and discuss it outside of the frame of reference as being a sequel for one second because it's its own movie. Sure it shared a title with a number after it and it has the same basic founding premise as the original film, anthology style story involving POV/found footage shorts with a wrap story. Each story is unique and separate from the original film. Let's give it an identity and review and opinion all its own.

I generally don't write reviews about movies that I dislike. I find it rude and I generally gain nothing from it. Every once in awhile a movie gives me something to say i.e. provides a soap box for which I use it to spout off some ridiculous shit that no one cares about anyway. See my review of the fucking Bunny Game if you wanna know what one of those reviews looks like because today you're getting a wholehearted honest to goodness positive review.

I've been reviewing with talking points or bullet points lately. I think that they're useful. I hope you find them useful as well:

First the trailer:

Now we begin...

The Players:  Many people you will not be familiar with which is exactly the point of a POV style movie or if not POV shot from the camera's perspective. Remember that the camera is an actor in these movies, so I'll treat it like one. The acting is fine, fun, appropriate and high energy. No bad casting. Overdramatic when it needs to be, underwhelming to either comedic effect or to induce suspense at others. The camera work is appropriate and did not induce nausea as a found footage/POV movie can. Well done.

The Scare: Call me a pussy! That's right. I got on the edge of my seat. Literally. My knuckles went a little white, and the way I know I was really scared... my fucking nose got cold. Happens when I get a rush of Adrenalin. Also, I am typing very fast having just finished the movie. Good job. Not all installments have the same scare level. Not all installments hook you right away, but they all have something that could get under your skin.

The B(lood) & G(ore): Do yourself a favor gore fuckers... you go watch this movie right now and treat yourself to a hefty level of guts and carnage. I will give nothing away. I will tell you that there's practical effects, a modicum of CGI (unless it was just a bad practical which got me in the Evil Dead remake) and there's a car tank worth of blood. Maybe even a car gas tank plus a couple kiddie pools. Gore. Blood. Dangling flesh. Each installment handles gore in a unique way, and you should try to appreciate each one for its own creative style.

The Ta’s: Yes, I talk about boobs. I have a penis that likes them. I haven't as of yet removed it. Yes there are boobs, and they are nice. Not many boobies, but boobs. There is also... A WANG. Get comfortable with your manhood and sack up. Penises don't kill people, children produced from sperm kill people.

The Family Plot: Let's break it down by story.

Tape 49 aka The Wrap Story: Effective wrap story that keeps you interested though wholly uncreative but does feature the aforementioned boobies. Acting good. Solid and strong finish.

Clinical Trials Phase 1: What a unique idea... throw an implant in a guys head, a working cybernetic eyeball. Then tell him that he might see things while the device is still in the testing phase. That's unique and this made for an excellent premise with a few modest scares and with the help of a shaky, jostled camera, suspense. 

A Ride in The Park: This is the gore score right here. A clever take on your favorite zed word. Zombies. That's all I'll say but while the first few moments didn't grab me and were predictable, this one goes on to pound the pavement and tear it the fuck up. 

Safe Haven: Indonesian cults... stay away from them. This entry is a bit slow at first but the pay off is just brilliant, disturbing and actually somewhat campy. Funny. Gross and well... I was happy it picked up when it did because I was waiting for the movie Bad Dreams to start on YouTube. 

Slumber Party Alien Abduction: It's exactly what you think. The use of noise and sound in this installment is extremely effective as well as camera placement, lighting and visual effects. It's Jason Eisener. That's why. Fans of 80's movies where the kids battle the monster/alien.. this is a love note to you. This is the one that had me gripping my panties trying to figure out if the tension would break. Ever. Well done. 

The Finish: This is where I want to interject a small bit of comparison with the first film. Most people were disappointed with the wrap story for the first V/H/S film. I can say that this one isn't entirely different. I can tell you that it's executed better and the ending is far superior, effects driven and worth the wait. In other words, the wrap story wraps the movie and it gives the audience one last FUCK YEAH! More gore with your VOD purchase this evening Dr. TERROR? Why certainly!

The Art: Great poster/cover art for this entry. Seems like the decided to pull away from the actual VHS on this one. I know one of the major criticism by tapeheads for the first movie was that it played to them so well, especially collectors and yet the movie itself wasn't made for tapeheads at all... just a horror movie with a title that happens to match one of the latest collecting fads in our genre history. Good art.

The Scope: Is V/H/S/2 better than the original movie? That's the question on everyone's mind. Like the original or hate it you wanna know whether this one beat it or at least was an improvement on what some consider to be a dissappointment (not this motherfucker... I love me goddamn both). 

V/H/S initially sucked for me. Got nauseous. Hated the misogynistic undertones (this coming from the guy who includes a boob commentary in his fucking reviews). Ultimately I loved the story telling and aside form a wrap story that seemed more utilitarian than something to be proud of, it won me over. I loved all the actual stories save for the Ti West installment which didn't play to Ti West's strength of the slow burn... it's a short film after all... No time for slowburn, Dr. Jones. I ended up loving the whole thing and even Ti West's offering became enjoyable. Radio Silence knocked my socks off and to this day have put together one of my favorite shorts of all time. 

V/H/S/2 (originally titled S-V/H/S) is powerful, fast paced and effects driven with some novel stories and original takes on some old ideas using the strengths of a POV/found footage style film and not playing to the Tapeheads or trying to be.. for the lack of a better word... verbose. I will say that the use of zombies or zombie like creatures in V/H/S/2 got to be repetitive. I didn't exactly mind it but I was aware of it which let down the suspension of disbelief for a second or two. I love all the stories. I enjoyed the wrap story. I was not nauseous as previously stated. I'm a happy guy. I would say that as a whole V/H/S/2 is a better movie, fans will like it more and folks who hated the original will enjoy this. While I enjoyed the sequel more than the original I still enjoyed Radio Silence's installment more than any of the entries in either film. 

It's not necessarily a matter of liking either movie better or worse, but I will say that V/H/S/2 should appeal to a broad fanbase and give the effects folks something to enjoy. There's no glitch monster. There's no true slow burn and most of the stories are straightforward narratives that can be enjoyed over and over again without the abuse or overuse of one's brain.  That's a good thing. It's entertaining. That's what we want, right? To be entertained!

Go watch it on VOD or theaterically. Enjoy it. Let me know what you think.

and if you wanna know who the fuck is in it and what they did here's an IMDB page for you to stare at. 


Wednesday, June 5, 2013

The Drone of the Blues: Baby Blues Score Worth Checking Out


Thought I'd share something with everyone that just popped in my inbox from Michael Filimowicz, composer for the horror film, Baby Blues. While I cannot speak to the merits of the film, I have enjoyed the clips and the score. For those of you looking for something new to check out that's moderately progressive with dark overtones and good to write to, visit Michael's music site over at Elektrocaustic HERE.

Check out a sample here:

From Elektrocaustic:

Baby Blues, also known in some countries as Cradle Will Fall, is an independent horror film by the same executive producer as Better Off Dead, Fried Green Tomatoes and Breakfast Club, believe it or not. The film breaks new ground in the horror genre (which itself is a feat) by exploring psychosis in a female protagonist brought on by postpartum depression. I joined the project as sound designer and composer when I was living in Savannah, Georgia (the film was shot on a farm just outside of town). The original score is very electroacoustic, "droney," replete with high frequency samples and, I'll admit it, full of plenty of "be scared now" atmos. This is also my top selling album in the various online distribution channels, so it's worth promoting. If you like electronic music that isn't necessarily groove-based in the electronica vein, check out my other CDs. My albums are available on iTunes, Amazon, Napster/Rhapsody, Spotify, eMusic and many other outlets.

Enjoy Drone fans...