Tuesday, July 16, 2013


Last year Frank Browning (the 8 Bit Wizard Master), Sean O'Connor and I came up with a pile of fun game ideas that YOU WILL NEVER EVER get to play. Between Frank’s gorgeous 8-Bit renditions of classic Italian Horror movie posters turned start screens and handcrafted screen shots, the melodious electronic blips of Sean O’Connor and my quirky sense of game play (pretty much guessing at what might be fun) ya’ll seemed to enjoy what COULD be if we all just had a programmer friend, lots of free time and a few cases of Jolt Cola. You loved the 8-Bit. We have brought you more 8-Bit in abundance.

8-Bit art and design is reaching a truly creative peak. NECA designing a Jason Voorhees straight out of the Nintendo game of old screams that the time is right for retro gaming, particular horror related retro gaming to become more reality than the fiction we create. If you know programmer who wants in, let us know. We'd love to grow Hacktivision, our faux video game creation entity.


This year we are featuring two separate full game trailers and a pile of game start screens with faux manuals. Let the Sean and Frank know how much you like the artwork and music. These fellas worked exceptionally hard to bring you this Italian NES treat. I love what they do, and I’m simply tickled at the result.

Enjoy the trailers. Comment and share often and most of all… keep dreaming your nightmares. Make sure to stop back and enjoy last year’s start screen and our first stab at Italian Horror faux video game trailering HERE. (see zombie trailer at the end of this article as well)

Contact information for Frank Browning and Sean O’Connor is at the bottom of the article. Leave them your love. They are bro-chachos in arms.

(Dedicated to Kevin Miller of House of Mysterious Secretes for being an awesome movie dork like the rest of us and the Exhumed Films guys for screening a copy of this movie even if I didn't get to see the damn thing)

From the manual:

Thank you for selecting Nintendo Entertainment System’s CONQUEST with music by DIO!!!


1. Insert the CONQUEST cartridge and turn on the Nintendo machine. The story of Conquest will begin. If you would like to skip the story, press START.

2. The CONQUEST title screen should be on the screen. Use SELECT to play the game as ILIAS, MACE OR BEASTMASTER VS. CONQUEST MODE.


The cave people are in trouble. Evil and oppressive Ohkren, a gold faced, shape shifter, has gained control of their lands using her army of wolfmen and other assorted creatures to seize power. There is a hope. Two men, Ilias and Mace, are on the hunt to free the cave people from Ohkren iron fist and to bring back peace to the land.

As Ilias or Mace, the player will have to travel across barren waste lands, ocean dwellings and mountainous regions to engage in the final showdown with Ohkren to free the good people. On your journey you will have much help from weapons you pick up or animals you encounter along the way. The fate of the cave people is yours and your blue arrows of magical light. Use them wise and conquer evil in CONQUEST.


Pushing RIGHT or LEFT on the controller moves the ILIAS/MACE right and left.

UP and DOWN are used for climbing staircases. Anytime the pad is pushed UP and ILIAS/MACE is over staircase, he will immediately start climbing.

The A button is used for jumping or calling a wild animal to your aid as (as MACE only).

The B button is for attacking, hands or other weapon obtained by simply walking over the weapon. Primary weapon is a bow and arrow, but other weapons such as rocks or knives can be picked up along the way as well as various specialty arrows with different magical properties (exploding, illuminating, multiplying, wall-building arrows to name a few). B button also uses the special potion to counteract the quill disease causing venom.

START pauses the game

Pushing SELECT while in the game is active will switch between various arrows or current, non-arrow weapon if present. Arrows must be replenished often to be able to use them.


Game play as ILIAS and Mace is largely the same. The man difference is the choice of primary weapon. Mace also has the ability to control animals. You win the game by defeating Ohkren and her band of wolfmen, freeing the cave people and bringing them riches you collect throughout your journey.


Game play as MACE is nearly identical as ILIAS except you have the ability to control animals. MACE will encounter animals along the CONQUEST that will aid him in his journey. Dolphins, Birds and plants.


In a battle of true mortal combat, MACE must fight DAR from the famed Beastmaster adventure in a battle of skill, fighting, animal control and sword play. This is a multi-task challenge that is scored based on success at several games and one final hand to hand showdown using all weapons and tactics at the player’s disposal. The winner is determined by the player who has the most points or ends his opponent’s life. Game play is only as MACE and DAR is quite the force to be reckoned with having quite a few tricks up his sleeve and unique weaponry.

*BEASTMASTER VS. CONQUEST MODE is by cooperation of the Intellivision system put out by Mattel. The Beastmaster game for the Intellivision system coming soon and will feature CONQUEST VS. BEASTMASTER MODE!!!

*SPECIAL EDITION includes 8-Bit versions of the most popular Ronnie James Dio songs including songs from Rainbow, DIO and Black Sabbath.

You are the driver... you've got the power, stand up and shout... -Ronnie James Dio
**Please enjoy DIO responsibly, donate to the Stand Up and Shout Foundation and enjoy the original tunes HERE: "Stand Up and Shout", "Rainbow in the Dark" and "Holy Diver". Why did we choose DIO for the musical accompaniment? Ronnie James Dio is Italian. He was influenced by Mario Lanza (another Italian) and his music fucking rocks. He often uses dark fantasy themes in his music. We think he'd enjoy this.

(Dedicated to the biggest damn DEMONS fan I know, David Z. of Tomb it May Concern)

From the manual:

Thank you for selecting Nintendo Entertainment System’s DEMONS


1. Insert the DEMONS cartridge and turn on the Nintendo machine. The story of Demons will begin. If you would like to skip the story, press START.

2. The DEMONS title screen should be on the screen. Use SELECT to play the game as TONY THE PIMP, ROSEMARY, MAN IN THE MASK OR CITY TO TOMB TERRAFORMER

3. When playing as TONY THE PIMP OR ROSEMARY, after hitting the START button to select your character, the player will be prompted to enter a password into a Metropol ticket in order to continue from a saved spot. If you enter the incorrect password three times, your video game will lock for 20 minutes and demons will eat a cinema full of people for five minutes.


You have been invited to a special screening of a horror film at the Metropol Theater on the wrong side of the tracks. It’s a free engagement but the person who has gifted you tickets seems mysterious and quite possibly even a little frightening. You attend the movie only to find that it is well attended and quite a ruckus of a good time. Strange art installations line the walls including a rather alluring mask of what can only be described as the Devil himself. When one of the patrons puts on the mask, the terror begins.

While watching the movie all of your friends are transformed into demons from HELL. They are trying to kill you, and you are left with a small group of theater goers to try and prevent the complete destruction of the human race. As Tony the Pimp, you must brave the nightmare and destroy the evil before it can leave the theater to plague the entire world.


Pushing RIGHT or LEFT on the controller moves the CHARACTER right and left.

UP and DOWN are used for climbing staircases or moving forward during the third person shooter sequences into the screen, advancing game play.

The A button is used for jumping. A is also used to control the speed of the motorcycle once you discover it.

The B button is for attacking using fists, voice-of-rage weapon, popcorn bombs, Metropol ticket shield, Demon mask (disguises you from other demons), prop sword or motorcycle helmet.

START pauses the game

SELECT allows for weapon selection during the pause screen.



Your mission as TONY THE PIMP is to save the remaining theater goers from being transformed by demons. You must fight through several levels including the theater lobby, the bathroom, exit corridor, projection booth and the roof. You win the game by defeating the head demon, Rosemary.


Game play as ROSEMARY involves transforming as many theater attendees into demons or feeding on their flesh. It is a timed level that spans the aforementioned locations. While weapons are not used by Rosemary, pressing the B button faster will make your attacks more vicious and turn people into demons faster. Press B too fast and you will simply devour your target (worth fewer total points).


Game play as the MAN IN THE MASK is performed in an alternate level with game play in the city surrounding the Metropol. The objective is to invite attendees to the Metropol, handing out tickets and becoming more evil with every reservation made. You ride around on a motorbike and success is gauged by number of successful invites. A surprise awaits the most successful Man in the Mask in versus gameplay.


In this special edition of DEMONS gameplay, the player builds a city out of various common buildings including a theater, apartment complexes, commercial and industrial zones as well as other commercial zones. Once the player has completed building the city, he may destroy it by unleashing the demons form the Metropol (location to be determined by the builder or randomly assigned). Watch your city burn to the ground and gauge the rate of transformation and survival.

*Limited Edition Silver Cartridge available (the color the Demons Mask)

*Note: Beat the game more than once to experience several different endings; one involving an epic battle of the masks featuring Lamberto Bava and Mario Bava as masked warriors in a death match.

**Please enjoy Claudio Simonetti's original music for Demons HERE!

(Dedicated to those who lost part of their life dealing with a Video Recording Act of 1984 related arrest, detainment or confiscation. NEVER AGAIN!)

From the manual:

Thank you for selecting Nintendo Entertainment System’s ABSURD


1. Insert the ABSURD cartridge and turn on the Nintendo machine. The story of Absurd will begin. If you would like to skip the story, press START.

2. The ABSURD title screen should be on the screen. Use SELECT to play the game as MONSTER HUNTER, GRIM REAPER OR ANTHROPOPHAGUS

3. After you have expended three lives you will be given the option to continue. This option is given twice and will start the game from the last check point before the player died.


Discovered severely injured, you are one of the three characters selected on the title screen also known as MIKOS (to be discussed below). You are invincible to humans and must stalk and destroy them before they inflict enough injuries to reduce your life force and render your human and no longer invincible. Levels include the CITY, THE HOSPITAL, MOTORCYCLE CHASE, and BENNETS’ HOME.

Depending on each player your mission is different to be described below but to attain your goal you must avoid being attacked or suffering severe traumatic injuries including large spike pits, deep holes, ovens and doctors. Your hands are your most powerful weapons and many of your opponents will seek to render them useless, either removing them with axes or power tools or by constraint. Don’t worry. They grow back.


Pushing RIGHT or LEFT on the controller moves the Mikos right and left.

UP and DOWN are used for climbing staircases. Anytime the pad is pushed UP and the Mikos is over staircase, he will immediately start climbing.

The A button is used for jumping.

The B button is for attacking, hands or other weapon obtained by simply walking over the weapon. Weapons list to include knives, axes or even ovens (which can also be picked up by your enemies).

START pauses the game

Pushing SELECT will allow MIKOS to access acquired healing bars that will allow faster regeneration.



The goal as Monster Hunter is to defeat Charles Band who has attempted to capitalize on the infamy of your invincibility by creating imposter big box VHS tapes to sell to unsuspecting consumers. Additional specialty enemies include Video Store Clerks from “CockBuster Video”, Margaret Thatcher (Video Nasty Pioneer) and various tech nerds and geeks who use Blu-ray discs as weapons to assault you. Your goal is to destroy and dismember your enemies in an attempt to prove SUPER CHARLES BAND has defrauded VHS collectors with his new Wizard VHS releases. (Fake Wizard boxes not included)


The goal of the game is the inverse of the game ANTHROPHAGUS. You must kill various locals as the character Anthropophagus. Your goal is simply to eat them. Eating them regenerates any lost life or injuries especially to your hands, your most potent weapon. This game version is a less violent abridged version of ANTHROPOPHAGUS game play.


Game play is identical to GRIM REAPER game play accept the kills are more violent. The enemies are stronger and some of the enemies from MONSTER HUNTER game play show up in more difficult forms (It should be noted that different color versions of Margaret Thatcher are more difficult to beat). Occasionally ANTHROPOPHAGUS can eat his own intestines to regain life but only after consuming a power fetus which can be obtained by hitting bricks in the special level RETURN TO THE ISLAND using his head.

*Note: Enter for a chance to win a pair of special edition Anthropophagus socks that look like intestines. Proof of purchase required.

*Note: Not signed by Charles Band. Not even for five additional dollars.

*Note: All boxes newly manufactured. Not from the 1980’s.

(Dedicated to Barbara Steele who didn't make Master Gio's 10 Hottest Women in Italian Horror (these are the jokes people) )
From the manual:

Thank you for selecting Nintendo Entertainment System’s BLACK SUNDAY SPECIAL MASK OF SATAN EDITION


1. Insert the BLACK SUNDAY cartridge and turn on the Nintendo machine. The story of Black Sunday will begin. If you would like to skip the story, press START.

2. The BLACK SUNDAY title screen should be on the screen. Use SELECT to choose NEW, CONTINUE OR MASK OF SATAN

3. Selecting NEW will begin a new saga. CONTINUE will take you to a password save screen featuring alpha-numeric password entry. Mask of Satan is a special mode of game play to be described later.


During a trek through a forest, your coach breaks down and you being to search for parts of the wheel to fix it. You discover a castle by the side of the road and begin to explore. During the exploration you are cut a thorn bush which spills on the grave of the deceased wizard, Javuto. Javuto immediately kidnaps your female companion Katia and takes her away to his secret lair where he will sacrifice his blood to his witch companion Asa Vajda.

Along the way you will encounter various minions and underlings of the witch and warlock. They will take the form of vampires that appear as Nosferatu, witches cloaked with Satanic symbols on their chests, skinless skeletons, floating masks of Satan and coffin boobie trap. You must use crosses, holy water and essence of sunlight and torches. You are Dr. Kruvajan fighting to save the life of your companion from evil.


Pushing RIGHT or LEFT on the controller moves Kruvajan right and left.

UP and DOWN are used for jumping. Anytime the pad is pushed UP and the Kruvajan jumps up. Pushing down will change the color of Kruvajan for a short period of time giving him greater jumping capabilities and the ability to turn himself into a giant crucifix while tapping A and holding down.

The A button is used for brandishing your cross.

The B button alternate attack mode featuring cross-bastard sword, holy water grenades, or crucifix boomerang.

The START button is used for changing between weapons.


Mask of Satan gameplay involves the hunt for the Mask of Satan which can be used to kill either Asa Vajda or her consort Javuto. The goal of the game is to hunt down as many masks of Satan and place them on various witches and warlocks/vampires in order to put entomb and incapacitate them. There’s a time limit and every time the time hits 6:66 a previously incapacitated witch or warlock becomes reactivated.

*Note: this is the first black and white game for the Nintento Entertainment System.

(Dedicated to Morgue Asylum... because we don't bake nipple cupcakes on this here blog)

From the manual:

Thank you for selecting the Nintendo Entertainment System BURIAL GROUND The Nights of Terror


1. Insert the BURIAL GROUND cartridge and turn on the Nintendo machine.

2. The BURIAL GROUND title screen should be on the screen. Use SELECT to choose START NEW GAME, PETER BARKER MODE, VIDEO NASTY MODE


A scientist has unleashed an evil curse that has awakened the dead, and you, PETER BARKER, must fight the forces of evil. You are desperately afraid and must replenish your courage often or be easily weakened by your opponents. You must hunt down your mother in an attempt to save her, but as your energy and courage get low you may be able to utilized her life saving, comfort giving “abilities” to your salvation to defeat the evil.

Several levels including the various rooms in a mansion, the lab, the crypt and the forest workshop. Standard game play involves fighting and killing zombies with various weapons including various tools and axes and power ups at levels’ end by finding and saving your mother.


Pushing RIGHT or LEFT on the controller moves PETER BARKER right and left. This works even when he is jumping or falling.

UP and DOWN are used for climbing up and down ladders and trees. Anytime the pad is pushed UP and PETER BARKER is over a ladder, he will immediately start climbing.

The A button is used for jumping.

The B button is for attacking and will use any weapon selected in the START menu.

The START button is used for changing weapons. You have weapons selections of axe, hammer, screwdriver, teeth or whining.


Peter Barker Mode consists of a variation of standard game play where PETER BARKER has been transformed into a zombie. The goal is the same as before, but you must find and kill your mother to gain strength rather than save her. You kill her by biting off her nipple (Viewer Discretion is Advised) Beware, there are many false-mothers; only your real mother wins the game.

VIDEO NASTY MODE (not for play by children under the age of 18 and may be banned in certain countries of the world and the United Kingdom)

In Video Nasty Mode, You control a giant set of teeth that must be aimed at a giant nipple in order to rip it off (like a target to be captured). You must maneuver the teeth to get as much nipple as possible in your mouth to get the highest point value. The game continues with variations that become ever more difficult, timed, smaller, and larger or multiple nipples. Each screen starts with Peter Barker’s voice and game play ends with a female scream.

*Note: We were planning on creating this start screen before Morgue Asylum suggested this game, but I loved his description so much, we wanted to honor his request.

*Note: We fully recognize that the character’s name is not Peter Barker, but Peter Barker just sounds so gosh darn good.

*Note: The game comes with actual Peter Barker “fangs” that glow in the dark and purchase enters you in the Peter Barker Fan Club (with proof of purchase and entry form).

Cemetery Man
(Dedicated to lovers everywhere... even at the end of the world)

From the manual:

Thank you for selecting the Nintendo Entertainment System CEMETERY MAN.


1. Insert the CEMETERY MAN cartridge and turn on the Nintendo machine.

2. The CEMETERY MAN title screen should be on the screen. Use SELECT to choose FRANCESCO, GNAGHI, RESVRRECTVRIS MODE


FRANCESCO and GNAGHI run a cemetery in the middle of nowhere that happens to have the strange power of bringing the “residents” back to life after they’ve been put in the ground or in their tomb. Our two heroes must attempt to keep the patrons of the cemetery in the ground and prevent their escape from the cemetery. Along the way you will product citizens of the nearby town who have come to pay their respects and fight for you life in a battle against the Dead. There’s only one problem… you’ve fallen in love with one of the newly undead and have to try and save her from the clutches of the afterlife and from the cemetery that doesn’t sleep.


Pushing UP, DOWN, LEFT OR RIGHT on the controller moves FRANCESCO/GNAGHI around the game screen from over top. As you enter certain places in the cemetery, action will switch to side scrolling game play allowing the character only to move LEFT or RIGHT.

The A button is used for ATTACK with a shovel or MAP/COMPASS display when in overhead view mode.

The B button allows the FRANCESCO/GNAGHI to jump or see the “essence of the dead” when in overhead view mode...

The START button PAUSES the game.

The SELECT button plays enchanting music that lulls the undead to sleep. This only works when your ethereal level is at its peak and once depleted you must located more essence throughout the cemetery.



Francesco and Gnaghi have the same game play mode only you play as a different character. Francesco must find his love in the midst of the cemetery and occasionally save Gnaghi. Gnaghi must locate Francesco when the cemetery takes him into its clutches and the mayor’s daughter, Valentina. Francesco moves quicker than Gnaghi and has greater agility and speed in side scroll play, but Gnaghi is must stronger than Francesco and cannot be frozen by the hypnotic powers possessed by some of the undead.


In this mode, you play as a first person shooter with a shotgun and must kill, not only zombies, but humans as well. As the game progresses, your vision and the game play becomes more confusing. Points are assessed by the target hit. Nurses, doctors, the town Mayor, Gnaghi, bullies… all are fair game.

*Parental Warning: This game contains gratuitous Anna Falchi boobies in gorgeous 8-Bits. That’s 4-Bits a cup!

House by the Cemetery
(Dedicated to Jude Felton of The Lair of Filth... the biggest goddamn House by the Cemetery fan I know)

From the manual:

Thank you for selecting the Nintendo Entertainment System HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY.


1. Insert the HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY cartridge and turn on the Nintendo machine.


*Note: After hitting the START button to select your game mode/player option, Dr. Freudstein jumps through the START OPTIONS wheezing and dripping maggots that crawl across the screen dissolve.


As Lucy Boyle, you have moved into a new house that you got for a rather good price. It’s an old house but beautiful. Still, you seem uneasy; there’s something spooky about it too. You begin to hear legends of the former inhabitants of the home and learn that the man of the house, a Dr. Freudstein, performed some rather unmentionable experiments and was driven to homicide. Slowly, the house begins to reveal that your initial feeling of reservation about moving in are warranted as your guests and family begin to disappear including your husband and son.

Your mission is to reclaim both your husband and son from the hands of evil and Dr. Freudstein. You will accomplish this by defeating minions left by Dr. Freudstein to stop you as well as fighting Dr. Freudstein himself on several occasions and in several locations within the house and accompanying cemetery. You also have the ability to see and travel through time in order to discover where your family has been captured using a crystal ball (once located). Time and space are your friends, Dr. Freudstein is no one’s friend. Try not to be the next guinea pig in one of the doctor’s psychotic, homicidal experiments.


Pushing UP, DOWN, LEFT OR RIGHT on the controller moves BOYLE/FREUDSTEIN around the game screen. You are looking down on the action.

The A button is used for ATTACK. ATTACK options can be viewed under the START menu.

The B button is for alternate ITEM. A list of ITEMS can be viewed under the START menu.

The START button displays a list of ATTACK options: Scissors, torch, maggots, gravestone, hands, pick axe. It also displays a number of ITEMS: Key (to be used one), lock pick (opens all doors unlimited times), crystal ball, rope, food (to refill energy), Freudstein imposter mask, deed to the Freudstein estate and more!


As described in the opening, as Lucy Boyle you will have to find your family, kill Dr. Freudstein and save the Freudstein family who has become stuck in time, reliving the terror wrought forth by the evil doctor.


As Dr. Freudstein, you must beat the clock, capturing everyone in the Freudstein House before the timer runs out. You are able to choose several time limit options and different methods of murder bring different point values, but they also take up more time.


The kill laboratory is a mini game that allows the player to create his own creature/human concoctions from a pile of human remains and various other monster parts. This all takes place in the Freudstein’s basement lair. Once created, you are able to play the Lucy Boyle mode as your new monster creation in order to defeat Freudstein, but be cautious, you can accidentally kill friendly characters as well that will reduce your strength and prevent you from hurting your enemies.


Race to the Cemetery Mode is a timed level beginning the attic of the Freudstein House. You must find your way down several levels, battling enemies with the finish line at the cemetery. This can be two play cooperative mode, player 1 vs. the clock or player 1 vs. Dr. Freudstein. The difficulty level is selected by the user as is the time option.

*Note that the game box includes a deed to the Freudstein estate and plastic maggots.


Born and raised in southern West Virginia, Frank Browning's passion for art developed at a very young age.. He would spend time recreating his favorite images from his beloved Marvel comic books while "Empire Strikes Back" played in the background. He continued to develop his talent throughout high school, then took that talent to college. He graduated from Marshall University in Huntington, West Virginia, with a bachelor's in graphic design.

Frank has a broad range of talent and has designed for the likes of Spencer's, Hot Topic, FYE, HBO, Capcom, Epic Games, DC, Warner Brothers, and Jim Hensen Company, to name a few. Many of his designs can still be found in Spencer's stores today.

Frank currently works for the West Virginia Department of Education and enjoys doing freelance design projects. He loves all things horror, Star Wars, and Marvel, but his favorite thing is spending time with his wife and 6 week old son.


While it is not entirely certain from what time or space the creator of our 8 Bit audio clip comes from one thing is for certain, he was born with a light gun in his hand. The Konami code actually appears in his DNA and we hope that someday... he gets his Gameboy.  Sea O'Connor is an exceptionally talented musician and friend who has performed in such musical acts as Leema Mountain, Me Hate Me and Melatonin. Feel free to check out his musicHERE and support him like you would any set of finely crafted breasts. We hope to work with Sean on future 8-Bit renditions of the movies you love, the games you deserve on the system that was made specifically for people who like to stay up all night long with a 3 liter bottle of Mountain Dew and a bag of Cheese Puffs.

In case you missed last year’s faux trailer ZOMBIE:

Includes Zombie vs. Shark!!!



  1. LOVE the Dio song, Rainbow in the Dark as an 8bit!!! Can I get the MP3 so I can jam this in my car at night on full blast??? Shit, Holy Diver too. How 'bout just all the greatest hits?!?!? :) GREAT JOB TO ALL!!

    1. Anthony, I'm sure we can work something out. Thank for the kind words, and keep supporting the amazing 35mm scene. It's thing of greatness.

  2. Awesome job, I feel like you guys made this for me, Seriously "Conquest" and "Demons"?! Just to god damn cool.

    1. Thanks Russell. We're glad you love it. We seriously had a blast making this. We're already planning 8 Bits from Hell pt 3. What would you guys like to see?

  3. I would play that Demons game for whole days at a time.