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Thursday, August 8, 2013

Black Devil Doll - Viagra for the Exploitation Lover's Soul


It’s time for me to review Black Devil Doll. It’s been forever since I first caught a brief glimpse of this release. My father-in-law and I were sitting on the couch one Sunday afternoon during football season and our team wasn’t playing. Our wives and kids were going out, and I figured this would be the right time to expose him to the art of being offended as perpetrated by a possessed, black doll with a penchant for titties and murder (the good stuff). We got about ten minutes in (which in all fairness is nearly 1/7th of the movie) and suddenly our family returned from the store as it was closed. We had to turn the damn thing off, and we subsequently made plan to watch the movie every weekend for a month. Gradually it was passed on and on as we couldn’t seem to get our damn significant others out of the house. You can’t watch Black Devil Doll with just anyone. I’ll prove that point later. The seasons changed and gradually, we forgot that we had to watch it, would occasionally joke about it and then we lost track. This past weekend I decided to take matters into my own hand to “complete my training”.

Background:

My father in law is a Blaxploitation nut who likes old time TV and plays in several punk bands, was in a moderately successful hardcore band of the early 80’s and can rip off your head, shit down your neck and do it while telling you a dirty joke. He’s good people. We get along well, like to gross each other out and love to watch football. We also like to discuss Blax movies. He’s not easily offended, and I dare say loves to be offended and to find new ways to offend. Obviously Black Devil Doll is the perfect movie for him.


Review and Suggested Viewing:

Just by looking at the cover of Black Devil Doll and thinking about the name I figured you might consider it a Blaxploitation movie. It actually goes beyond your typical Blax movie, offending at will and by any means necessary with care taken to insert every racial stereotype inappropriately into it’s attempt to provide a narrative that gets you from titty shot to mammary master tape. What you’re watching is a movie about a girl who summons the spirit of a vicious, sexually aggressive man puppet that wants to fuck everything that moves and has a secret, dark side (darker than simply wanting to fuck on command).


At first the gimmicks are left by the way side. You wander through the movie in search of great big flapjack boobs that guide your way like high beam headlights through a foggy, low production picture. The version you watch should be Rated X, otherwise you’re doing it wrong. Take your pants off, make sure the tighty whities have the appropriate stains on them, eat something meaty and fried and don’t use a napkin and by all means keep your fleshlight handy. Obviously, I watched this midday with my wife upstairs and baby sleeping upstairs so I didn’t put my “Black Devil Doll Uniform” on. By the time you’ve seen at least three separate sex scenes and one foul mouthed, irreverent but celebratory opening rating sequence, you’re ready for some substance. You want the violence. Not just the vagina. That’s when Black Devil Doll turns on more than the bitches that he fucks. It’s kill baby kill time.


The cover/poster art is exquisite throw back art that plays a little on the partially doll based movie Trilogy of Terror with hints of yesteryear’s flair for exploitation goodness. It’s not a high production film. It’s low complete with Rotten Cotton plug (made by the very same folks) and with women made to look down and dirty (perfect, dirty gorgeous). It’s refreshing. The high production of porn is shelved for glorious dirt. I am a fan of this kind of filmmaking.

About half way through the movie my wife woke up from her nap and said, “You’re watching porn aren’t you!” She was highly offended. I assured her that I was simply watching Black Devil Doll and that yes it was X rated, but truly couldn’t be categorized as pornography per say. I mean, here I am staring at miniature doll in between a woman’s legs twig deep in her snatch, and I’m telling her it’s not porn. You really don’t see penetration. Not really. At least not human penetration. She did not except my answer, and I realized that I was lying to myself about what I was watching and proceeded to sit back, mildly turned on while enjoying the remainder of film. Brutal murder, blood, boobs and vicious doll attacks with aggravated sexual violence and slurs thrown around like your mama’s honeypot. That’s a good movie. My wife hung around just outside our backdoor sunning herself through the rest of the movie with the backdoor ajar. Of course the rest of the movie moaning and orgasming and a gristly voice scream obscenities. I define the dog house (she really needs to get into porn).


You have to throw your learnin’ out the window and forget what it means to be politically correct when you watch Black Devil Doll. Open your mind, unzip your pants, get dirty with yourself. This movie begs you to be as incorrect and in disregard for conventional morality. If you’re lucky enough to watch this with a significant other that enjoys it, try eating greasy food off their genitals and slathering them up with maple syrup. Talk dirty to one another. FUCK. PORK. SCREW. No love making will be tolerated during the screening of Black Devil Doll. If your face doesn’t smell like pussy… you’re doing it wrong (guys or girls).


You can pick up Black Devil Doll here. Visit the website here. And support the new episodic show, There Goes Da Neighborhood,  here. Spread the word and enjoy what these guys will dish up next. Oh and goddamnit support Rotten Cotton. Good company. Amazing T-shirts. Cool folks.

-Dr. TERROR.

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