Monday, December 30, 2013

BIG ASS SPIDER (Blu-ray) - Big Ass Laughs, No CGI Bashing

If you see the name Big Ass Spider on a movie cover you're probably thinking that it's going to be made by SyFy. Further, you'd expect to see shit CG with atrocious acting with has-beens reappearing out of nowhere to give the movie some press fodder. Then you'd most likely assume that Big Ass Spider would be the talk around the water cooler the next day. SyFy would already have a sequel planned. None of that is true about Big Ass Spider. It's been through the festival circuit, made countless people laugh and... the CG didn't piss me off! Oh, and it is sure isn't a SyFy original movie so keep your Sharktopus out of it.

Synopsis from

An exterminator (Greg Grunberg) and his Hispanic sidekick (Lombardo Boyar) are caught in an epic battle when a military assault fails to contain a giant alien spider rampaging through the city of Los Angeles.


I've never seen Heroes before which means that Greg Grunberg is new to me, and in this movie he's funny. He's the perfect dork who is good at and love his job. A lover, but hopeless in love. His attempts, most certainly in vain, to tempt the interest of alluring professional women throughout the picture are hysterical but worthy of taking note for those of you in need of some self-confidence. If you need pickup lines, this movie has a few new ones. So I like this Greg Grunberg fella. I like his cohort in extermination, Lombardo Boyar.  That was half the battle with a movie called Big Ass Spider. So the other half would have to be the spider.

It is no secret that I would prefer the use of computers be relegated to creating large, impossible landscapes. I am not a fan of CG though I can appreciate terrible CG when it makes me laugh. Movies that involves large insects (though I realize that a spider is an arachnid) haven't overly impressed me. I'd prefer someone to sit down with some clay or stop motion. That being said, the computer graphics used in Big Ass Spider didn't both me. Yes, the spider looks faker at certain times than others, but for the most part they do a brilliant job of keeping the spider hidden in darker scenes or at a distance. This works brilliantly. I even got the heebie jeebies a few times. Other times, I simply laughed. There's enough gore and disgusting shit to hold the squeamish at bay though I'd prefer to leave the details to your eyes. 

The story is generic giant bug fodder straight out the 50's, but that's not why you're watching it. You watch this movie because it has enough spider to make it creepy, enough giant spider to make it funny and a strong cast of characters who play off each other well to bring the laughs.

Oh and about the thing I said about no one talking about this movie around the water cooler... you can make that possible, and help get a smarter giant spider movie to make a web in the brains of your coworkers.

You can order Big Ass Spider NOW!  Releases January 7th.

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