Over the past year I have been educated by Vinegar Syndrome. These fellas have put out some Class A smut which doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s high quality in every cinematic sense. I suppose to be considered A Number One smut you have to embody what it means to be filthy and rotten and sleazy. Maybe it’s best to rate films of this type on a descending scale, falling further into the circles of Hell and trailing off into the abyss like some sort of one-handed ejaculator looking for a helping mit with a napkin. So the education continues, and I grow another year old and hornier and Vinegar Syndrome just keeps wetting my palette and leaving my manliness stuck to my trousers. I suppose you might say that our next focus “ain’t your daddy’s porno”, but that isn’t quite fair; they were released in the 70’s and most likely could have been the inspiration for a wee bit of ejaculate to find it’s way north side of your mama’s vagina to conceive you in a shit hall theater with stickier floors and stickier hands. So these aren’t the naughties that I grew up with. I grew up with movies featuring Tracie Lords and Ginger Lynn, but one shining star does emerge from this delicious pairing… Jamie Gillis… the Captain! The stuff I grew upon was high brow shit really. The Peekarama: Big 2 Unit Show is just on the border where good taste rides up next to bad choices.
Make sure you order your copies from Vinegar Syndrome, and see what the Hell the random gibberish you just read really means. Keep in mind… these are hearty, X rated features from yester-porn. Grindies and roughies and naughties.
ABDUCTION OF AN AMERICAN PLAYGIRL
Synopsis from Vinegar Syndrome:
71 minutes / Color / AR: 1.33:1
Abduction of an American Playgirl is actually quite funny. From the outset you think you’re going to watch a woman be sexually assaulted by two completely no brain doofuses. Sure they think the upper hand, the sausage for her peppers and have pulled a great rouse on high class society. Little do they know that they should prepare for a fuck-fest the likes of which neither groovy gent is ready to endure. Further more that the whole shebag will be lead by the captor and not the captee. She wants it, and she’s almost lured them into her trap to get it.
They’ll be forced to bring friends into the mix and even fall asleep mid-coitus. That’s hilarious shit right there.
The let down? You’re really forced to watch only a few nudies on screen. The low turnover over in sex partners makes for a monotonous albeit funny watch, but not exactly prime spank material.
Synopsis from Vinegar Syndrome:
In this notorious roughie, a group of ex-cons terrorize and abuse a trio of helpless young women who are held hostage in a snowbound cabin.
Director: Claude Goddard
70 minutes / Color / AR: 1.33:1
The highlight of the double feature is Winter Heat. Goddamn do I love Jamie Gillis. He is a cockmonster and filthy man, but you love him for it. Whether he’s getting a blow job from his girlie in front of friends or forcing a pile of co-eds to pay up for their “indiscretions” with sexual acts, you can’t seem to find it in you to hate him. Maybe it’s my affinity for his acting style where the camp comedy is turned up to eleven or perhaps it’s that he knows how to swindle the girls out of their close even against their will, but I’ve been hooked on this guy since I first enjoyed New Wave Hookers and later Neon Nights. He’s a dirty bird.
Yes, this is a movie that can be considered a “roughie”. That simply means that Jenna Jameson won’t be knocking on anyone’s door as the chief of the porn police telling everyone to behave and to set the egg timer for shared orgasms. Fans of softcore and loving-movies-to-fuck-by… this isn’t your cup of tea (or tea bag).
Note: 2k from 35mm negative and archival print respectively.
With a watchable quality that actually has a solid narrative in between moments of physical “love” you’ll laugh and appreciate this very cinematic movie. Unlike Abduction, it features a variety of exceptional young ladies who are exciting and thrilling. I can’t recommend this enough.