Monday, April 28, 2014

Blood Glacier (IFC Midnight) - Not a SyFy Original and Not the Disney's The Thing on Ice

Let's get this straight... there's liquid... red liquid... on a glacier. Scientist become magically interested in this liquid and then strange hybrid creatures create an all you can eat buffet in the middle of frickin' nowhere? The best part? The liquid generated featured creatures are a little bit on the shabby side creating a camp effect that doesn't make the whole thing feel like a laughfest but more or less a happy throwback to the late 80's direct-to-video creature creations of lesser creation houses. In short, a serious monster movie that is trying very hard to be interesting has elements of humor that are not intentional but nevertheless are funny. Oh, and there's gore. IFC Midnight has found themselves a fun picture in Blood Glacier.


Janek is a technician on a climate observation station high up in the German Alps, one of a team of scientists preparing their outpost for visit from the Environment Minister. Their routine is interrupted by a strange discovery; a red liquid pouring from a nearby glacier, melted free from the ice crust that is shrinking with climate change. When the 'glacier blood' comes in contact with the local wildlife, it causes changes that are at first curious, then horrifying.

Soon Janek and his team have their hands full defending themselves and the station against a growing horde of biological monstrosities. Using every tool at their disposal they must learn to work together to survive the onslaught.

Watch the trailer here:

Look, this could have gone either way right? On one side of the coin we could be watching the next SyFy original picture, cut for TV, boring, big monster movie extravaganza with some former childhood teen sensation at the helm. No matter how entertaining that picture might be (I'm looking at you Po!seidon Rex) it's still not the same as enjoying a good piece of science fiction based horror. Of course I had heard a few folks utter five letter word. The Thing (okay add three letters and a space for the "The"). We are not dealing with a movie that is as terrifying or unsettling as Carpenter's remake vision of the Howard Hawks classic alien movie. There are respects paid to Carpenter's The Thing that seem fairly conscious that they are in fact homages, but overall the two movies don't intersect save for a similar location feel and a modus operandi of mutation and, in part, assimilation.

Ultimately the movie may feel like it has a lot of downtime, but for a cast of actors with which I'm unfamiliar, I'm very happy with performances all around, the effects work is good at times, cheesy at other and CG that isn't quite as bad as a SyFy original picture (that means it doesn't completely suck).

I'm going to recommend Blood Glacier to you because I had fun watching it. It certainly isn't recycled drivel unless you want to nitpick it's "Thing-like" qualities. Hell, even the original titles sounds great... Blutgletscher! The Austrians make a worthwhile monster pic, but before I oversell the damn thing let's get one thing straight. It's a movie about a red sheet of ice. Check it out.

This thing is hitting VOD May 2nd.

-Doc Terror

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