LINKS TO THE PORT MANTEAU OF HORROR

Saturday, May 10, 2014

HAZARD JACK (Horizon DVD) - Paintballs? Check! Horror? Check!

Paintball and horror. There is a precedent set for such a thing. Remember Friday the13th part 6? It’s a great excuse to kill a bunch o’ random folks in the middle of the woods in a semi-comedic but mostly creative ways. That being said, we have a new movie that has actually set the entire stage for the action in Horizon Movies, Hazard Jack on DVD. Now I know that we’ve all had crazy fantasies about playing paintball in a locale that is somewhat creepy be it a graveyard or abandon asylum. We used to want to play at the abandoned section of Greystone, a mental hopsital in NJ, but alas, I only had the opportunity to explore it one time before it was demolished. Then of course there was the Fairfield Sanitarium. Great expansive hallways and multiple abandon buildings in the middle of nowhere. Perfect for paintball, but I believe that has also been paved under. It really doesn’t matter anyway because, in an effort to provide full disclosure, I’ve never even held a paintball gun. Maybe a game of tag would have waxed my marbles just fine. Hazard Jack combines the art of the slasher and hack horror with paintball and an abandoned hospital. Is this the childhood dream of mind come to life? In part… yes but paintball aficionados may be displeased at the amount of ball time.  Any paintball/horror fans out there?

Synopsis from Horizon Movies:

A game of paintball turns into a bloodsport in the horrifying slasher movie Hazard Jack. A group of college friends select an abandoned hospital to host their regular paintball wargame, not realizing a bloodthirsty maniac stalks its halls.

As the players get distracted by drugs and sex, Hazard Jack sharpens his blades. He was once a decorated soldier in Afghanistan, but his return to the United States gave him only unemployment and scorn.

Suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), he snaps, and seeks vengeance against those who have already forgotten the sacrifices he made for the country. So he sacrifices them instead. When you play Hazard Jack's game, everyone loses.

This is a slash and hack film. There isn’t much in the way of intricate plot details or mystery. You never really care who the killer is and any allusion to his origin, you simply don’t care. I suppose that’s fine. The same thing happened when I watched Final Exam from 1981 recently. Don’t care who the killer is as long as the movie features enough gratuity to be a moderate does of cinema Spanish fly with enough carnage to keep it at near softcore gore porn (or beyond). Hazard Jack has plenty of nasty moments both sexual and violent. The killer wears a protective mask, not wholly original but moderately intimidating and his kills are reasonably entertaining. There’s one beheading (or is it two?) that reminded me of some of the splatter in the cult classic Pieces. Not a bad movie to have me associate with it though please don’t take that as having all the humor, production “value” and aesthetic of Pieces. Just the one kill.

You may not remember the names or faces of the actors but you’re more than likely going to remember more than a couple of the hot bods on screen. It’s worth a watch for fans of slasher movies and fans of torture porn though the kills may not be a creative as you might otherwise enjoy. It’s a filthy little movie and short at 81 minute runtime including credits. This is just the sort of thing I would expect would happen if I had the chance to play any kind of competitive sport in an abandoned anything. I suppose that’s why I’m a horror fan and not a horror victim, because I don’t actually go out and do the things that horror victims do in horror movies. Perhaps Hazard Jack can help you to relive your own fantastic, paintball adventure.

You order Hazard Jack NOW! Releases May 13th.

-Doc Terror



No comments:

Post a Comment