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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

GUEST REVIEW: Afflicted as Reviewed by the Great JC (as Watched on Friday the 13th)

Welcome back kiddies and welcome back JC. The great JC (not John Carpenter or Jesus Christ) from beyond the world of the nethers has come to join us for a review of a most uncommon tale of much-prego-demonico (or name your own catch phrase that sounds kitch and kill). JC is an avid horror fan. A fan of old and new horror who isn't afraid to like a new genre style, remake or admit to being a rather talented horror artist. If you own the issue of HorrorHound with the Gates of Hell on the cover, JC is featured in the letters section. Expect more reviews from him over the coming months, and perhaps a few tricks in the form of collaborations as the two kids kicked out of the audio visual club in school prepare to give DOCTERROR some video enhancements. 

So another Friday the 13th has come and gone my friends. This one with an added special treat in the form of a full moon on this horror filled day. Too bad the fucking clouds and rain prohibited a clear glance at it. Let's just hope I live to see it again when it showcases in another 50 years. My 91 year old wrinkled ass will probably be watching the 14th Friday the 13th remake that night. I guarantee it. How many reruns of that guy in the hockey mask did you all watch in the span of 6 hours this past Friday evening?

Come to think of it, living in the Sussex County NJ area, I am literally a stone’s throw from that little area of the world known as Blairstown NJ. You know that place that Pamela & Jason Voorhees calls home? To be honest with you, I have been out this way for 4 years now and still have not made the 15 minute trek down Rt. 94 to hit some of horrors most hallowed of grounds. It really is a fuckin travesty that a self-proclaimed horror aficionado like myself, living as close as I do to such a horror landmark, has not taken the time to pay homage to where it all I began. I just need to do it. Get in the fucking car and go. Maybe even stop at the diner that was portrayed in the movie as well? Yeah, that sounds like a plan for next Saturday for sure. I digress...

To be honest with you I am not sure why the fuck I am rambling on about Friday the 13th. Maybe it is just that this day is like another horror holiday for me? I most certainly am not here on this kick ass horror website though to talk about that classic. No sir...

This rainy Friday the 13th, I had the great pleasure of having one Mr. James Harris, known to all you horror fiends as the one and only Dr. Jimmy Terror, spending this horror holiday at my house for "dinner and a movie" with a few other guests. Our original plan for the night included one huge white 70 inch widescreen and stand w/an HD projector all ready to go. The warmer weather was here (as well as those pesky Mosquitos) and we were going to choose one of those classic horror movies we all know and love and chill outside with a movie and some BBQ. Maybe even do a double feature of City of the Living Dead followed by The Beyond? Some burgers, dogs & drinks while spending a night with Mr. Lucio "fucking" Fulci. Doesn't get better than that now does it my friends? But this god damn rain ruined our plans so back inside we went where the wife treated us to a fantastic pasta dinner followed by some fanfuckingtastic pudding/graham cracker pie! Outside BBQ...what? Fulci who?


But now it was time. What movie were we to watch? What movie would take the place of that awesome zombie twin bill we had planned? Scrolling through all the eye catching horror titles on Amazon Instant Video. So many choices. A few moments passed and Dr. Terror and I boiled it down to, yes- you guessed it- two found footage movies.

Drum roll please ......... The finalists included Bobcat Goldthwait's Willows Creek and Clif Prowse and Derek Lee's Afflicted. Let's see.... Found footage vampire or Bigfoot movie? Tough choices indeed as we each had a desire to see both movies. However on this evening, we decided a bit of the undead genre was in order here. Within two minutes, the "click to order" was completed on Amazon and we were ready to watch Afflicted minus the bug spray.

This is another movie I tracked for some time now. Found myself jonesing to see this little independent flick. Winner of best horror picture/screenplay & director at Fantastic Fest, not to mention the recipient of awards of recognition from both the Toronto International Film Festival and the Sitges International Fantastic, Afflicted was certainly recognized within the horror arena. Solid fucking reviews to boot. Must be good, yes? Well, I have been burned before.

Dim the lights and put the leftover pasta in the Tupperware, it was time for some righteous scares!

This little found footage horror thriller follows two best friends who set out on the trip of a lifetime around the world- set to travel for one whole year. Derek has been diagnosed with a rare brain disease that could be prove life threatening at any given moment. His doctor and family advises against the trip but Derek decides he must go forward with his journey. Even more so now since it becomes more of a "bucket list" trip. The duo plan to document every step of their yearlong excursion. Only two nights into their adventure, they take to a nightclub in Paris and Derek meets a beautiful woman who he ends up going home with. Having every intention of cock blocking their friend, Derek's buddies go back to his hotel room to deliver one heaping size serving of blue balls with a side of embarrassment. When they arrive though, no sex is being had here … unfortunately. Seems our friend Derek has been knocked out with no memory of what transpired. All he is left with is a serious bite in his upper arm and a gash on his eyebrow. From here on out, we are treated to the camera lens catching every moment of Derek's evolution into a creature of the undead. First it is all fun and games as Derek enjoys the perks of becoming a vampire and his buddy Clif coaxes him on by recording each new set of powers exhibited by Derek. Here my friends is where we enter full blown "Chronicle" territory. You know, buddies in complete amazement of their newly realized superhero tendencies? Ability to run over 50 miles per hour...check! Ability to scale walls...check! Superhuman strength...check! Need to drink human blood to survive but does not want to kill...check! Race to find a cure...check!

I don't want to give too much away here because this one fucking rocks !!!

Director/Writer Clif Prowse and Derek Lee star as the leads here and this is one of the reasons why this movie works and is so damn good. They are so believable in their roles. You begin to care for Derek. You hate was is happening to him yet you simply cannot peel your eyes away.

The effects are also very cool here as well for a low budget movie. The vampire make up is not of your ordinary variety either. Extremely creepy when utilizing POV and even has a touch of that "walking dead" flair here.

Worth every penny of the $5 rental fee I paid. I will be grabbing this one once it releases on Blu-ray for sure.

If you love found footage and want to see an interesting take on the vampire legend, check this one out for sure. It isn’t the scariest movie you will see but once it gets moving, it is action packed and fucking intense all the way through. You won't be sorry here folks

Now Dr. Jimmy Terror- how about getting that Fulci twin bill back on our calendar? I promise to bring enough bug spray for all !

You can pick up Afflicted now.
Available July 1st.

Until next time horror fiends....


7 out of 10 vampire bites here my friends


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