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Thursday, June 12, 2014

Review - Scavenger Killers (Midnight Releasing DVD) - Don't Judge It By Its Cover

Scavenger Killers sounded so damn generic I wanted to cry. I knew I was going to have to watch it, and something said, "hey, maybe it's not gonna be so bad". But then I took a deep dark look into the cover art and figured I was fucked. So hey, what's the worst that happens? I ruin an hour an half of my life on a night when I could be watching some sort of restored porn product? Well fuck a duck and what do you know, Scavenger Killers was actually a fun watch. Please do not confuse "fun" with "this is a great movie that will blow your mind". Midnight Releasing has put out something pretty special here, but it isn't scary, it's just gory. 

Synopsis from Midnight Releasing:

A no-holds-barred, wickedly modern spin on the Bonnie and Clyde legend, SCAVENGER KILLERS features a stellar line-up of classic character and veteran genre actors including Eric Roberts (“In Cold Blood,” The Dark Knight), Charles Durning (The Sting, North Dallas Forty) and Robert Loggia (Scarface, Independence Day) along with a quirky appearance by Dustin Diamond (“Saved by the Bell”), among others. Starring Robert Bogue (“The Following”) as charismatic and respected Judge Taylor Limone, and co-stars Rachael Robbins (Bikini Bloodbath Christmas) as sultry, scheming attorney Clara Lovering, SCAVENGER KILLERSgraphically portrays what can happen when the pressures of bringing the most heinous criminals to justice ferments into a darkly psychological and sexual pursuit of perverse pleasure!

You watch Scavenger Killers for the fucking, and you watch it for the kills. The first half of the movie is a surprise blood bath of mostly practical effects with some completely terrible computer generated blood (that is laughable). Each kill sequence is filled with atrocious dialogue that comes out perfectly humorous. It's a movie to laugh at. It's a movie to watch with friends who like funny kills with boobs and vaginas and blood. 

Reasons to note watch Scavenger Killers: You want to be scared. You want to watch a deeply meaningful horror picture. You want to teach your children about wholesome morals. If you are scared of naked women, don't watch this movie.

You know why Scavenger Killers could fail to  resonate with people beyond the third act lull or end that doesn't fucking matter at all? Because the cover art is saying "hey, I'm a serious fucking horror movie. take me seriously", but the movie is a downright H.G. Lewis level exploitation movie. The other issue is the damn title. Call it The Courtroom Killers or some kind of dreadfully alliterated title with a sense of humor and more people are going to pick it up. As it stands you simply can't tell how funny this movie is. You can't tell the budget and further, you think that it's an attempt at a serious movie. It isn't. Take my word for it. Yeah Eric Roberts and Charles Durning  but dammit that doesn't matter! 

So I recommend laughing and having a good time with Scavenger Killers and ignoring the poor choice of cover art and name. It's just entertaining schlock in the best way possible. Midnight Releasing... more like this please.

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