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Wednesday, August 19, 2015

AVON TRIPLE FEATURE: SAVAGE SADISTS / DEN OF DOMINANCE / DAUGHTERS OF DISCIPLINE [Vinegar Syndrome DVD]

Let’s get one thing straight. If you’re watching the Avon Triple Feature disc, you are not watching it to get off. These are not hot young bodies performing sexual fantasies right before your very eyes. These are amateurs reacting to bad or no scripts on camera performing badly to amazing comedic effect. Each movie is as bad as the last and by bad I mean absolutely perfect. Each has a similar cast (if not the same cast) and each one runs 40 minutes long or so. I find it hard to recommend the Avon Triple Feature; not because I can’t appreciate it or the filth and fury of 42nd street side shows coming to light on DVD. I simply don’t know who the audience is. I suppose the grinders will like it; those folks who nostalgize 42nd street and Manhattan in the early 80’s having never been there to take in the smell of urine. It’s good for a laugh. It’s good for a cry. It is NOT good for a tissue party with your pants around your ankles. That being said… let’s sniff these out so you can better understand what I’m trying to articulate using graphic language.


OR 


From Vinegar Syndrome:

In SAVAGE SADISTS, a duo of hoodlums hold a pornographer and his wife hostage, forcing them into acts of debauchery. Then, in DEN OF DOMINANCE, an unsuspecting man visits a sleazy Times Square watering hole only to discover to his horror (and delight) that the bar is actually a front for a grungy S&M club! Finally, in DAUGHTERS OF DISCIPLINE, two lusty young women discover a hidden collection of bondage magazines in their parents bedroom. However, their illicit pleasures are quickly interrupted when the parents return home early and decide to punish their daughters for their transgressions.

D: Phil Prince / 1980-1983 / 120 min (combined) / Color / 1.33:1

Features Include:

+ DVD | Region Free | 1.33:1 OAR
+ Scanned and restored in 2k from ultra-rare 16mm archival elements


Savage Sadists

The most important thing to do while watching Savage Sadists is to stare at the Natassja Kinski poster with the snake on the wall beyond the protagonists. You’ll want to savor that image and try to find it later.

Between the truly great punk music and some of the grindy grimy scenes that are ultra mean-spirited and totally raunched out are some truly unintentional moments of comedy. Be prepared for lines like, “Bitch tastes pretty good”.  That doesn’t do it for you? How about “I bet your tits are getting hard now”… I can assure you fellas, they are not. Perhaps the most repeated and out of place phrase is “where’d they find you? In the gutter?” while our mucho strange-o “star” slaps her in the face with his dick with ADR’d hand slap sound. I’m all for degradation, but you’re supposed to do it with some style.  You could learn a thing or two from the “writers” in this picture. I mean the dialogue absolutely rules but do not expect it to convey anything that remotely resembles reality. Perhaps these are the lines that the twelve year old boy comes up with while masturbating to Hustler after reading some of Flynt and Co’s trash cartoons.  I suppose she DOES taste good though because there’s plenty of up close vagina slurpage. At least their fucking with tube socks on.

This first movie has a clear cut plot (or as clear as the minor exposition will allow).  The guys look strange (yes, strange) and when these fellas talk about what they’re doing to women while their doing it, I nearly lost it. We’re talking uncontrollable laughter which is pretty difficult to tame as you’re lying next to your sleeping wife feeling embarrassed for what’s showing upon screen.

Four sex scenes that includes sex while holding a gun and the whole thing end with a long fart. I think you can figure this one out.

Den of Dominance

For a movie that opens with Pac-Man music they didn’t do much for the title sequence (same basic lettering… no flair… really why put a title on a movie?). It’s the same cast from Sexy Sadists only this time their in a bar. You can imagine the caliber of acting has not improved, the dialogue remains… anti-dialogue and the story… isn’t one.

Things of note in Den of Dominance: The sound of a heart beat with strange moaning that is echo-filled with dialogue that sounds spacey. Of course there’s actually some dan good electronic music which seems to be the resounding high point between the movies in the Avon Triple.

If you though The Room needed a soundboard, cell phone app wait’ll you get a load of this guy. More strange dialogue, gallons of slurping, oodles of staches all around and some fairly uninteresting amateur bondage. The only point of mystery? What the hell is the Bizarre Room? You’ll have to watch to find out.

End with a fart and a party noisemaker. I guess that’s what we in the industry would call… style.

Daughters of Discipline

A nice shot of New York City in the opening at least gives you the illusion that you might be headed for the Deuce after watching this strange fuck film.  I think my dear old dad even owned one of the suggestive magazines in the opening scene of the film which says quite a bit about how I came to enjoy adult entertainment (you’ll see). While at least there’s a thematic variation with the women doing the dominating in this release, I’m not sure the boring fifteen minute lesbian scene (with tube socks of course) counts as an improvement over the previous laugh fests. They have the best accents and at least the cast is different for the third installment in the Avon triple.


Enjoy the Scott Baio poster in the background; you even get a close up of it. Then repeated intercuts of said poster. Someone really loved this damn poster. I’m surprised Scott didn’t get starring credit. Also, the whole thing has this strange alien music in the background. Perhaps we are to understand that the strange events unfolding are from some Ed Woodian extraterrestrial plot? Plan 69 from the Bronx?

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