I’m feeling inspired today by some animal Horror articles I’ve read lately, and I thought… wouldn’t it be interesting if we could take the fiction Horror movie and then show what actually happens to a person when destroyed by said bug or animal? Whether it’s a clip or a pick… here goes the super ick for ya’ll on a Friday night. Let’s combine real life animal horror with the stuff we find in the movies. This could get messy folks. Enjoy responsibly then make sure to go check out the movies. Don’t take my word for it (echoing LeVar Burton).
Grizzly is a movie about a monster sized bear (aren’t they all… except for Koalas) that mauls people in the wilderness. It’s not exactly brutal, but it is exactly fun and it has a genius poster (thanks Neal Adams) that looks larger than life, but what would happen if you were ACTUALLY mauled by a bear? Movie makeup in 1976 doesn’t exactly tell the tale of brutality that goes into a bear attack.
Shared from YouTube
Now I wanted to site Empire of the Ants, but quite frankly, we don’t have giant ants on this planet. So what movie did I want to reference? Phase IV? Nope. Ants from 1977. The TV movie. The one that, when released to video, featured boobs on the cover being motorboated by… ants. I cannot recommend Ants to serious Horror folks, but if you want to laugh at a movie and see Suzanne Somers and Lynda Day George, have I got a a movie for you. Ants attacking hotel. Ants crawling all over people. I guess Black Flag wasn’t en vogue.
But ants CAN KILL YOU in spite of what you see in this movie and how unafraid you will be by the end of it.
Shared from YouTube. Start around 5:25.
Creepshow (They’re Creeping Up on You Segment)
That brings us to EG Marshall and his bug problem. No one would deny that Upson Pratt deserved his fate in Creepshow, but what would happen to you if left alone with an alarming number of the small and crunchies long enough?
Here's what they can do to you.
and this is how bad it can get. What's a matter Mr. Pratt... bug got your tongue?
Do we really think an octopus, giant or otherwise could kill a human? Let’s watch.
Shared From YouTube
What exactly do Piranhas do to people? I mean… it’s not like waterparks are founded on the spawning grounds of the dreaded “P” creatures.
Does that really happen? What do animals doooo to people? Only Robert Forster knows for sure.
This is actually pretty funny despite the actual story.
Day of the Animals
When radiation from the sun creates angered and aware animals in the wild, you know that your weekend hiking trip was a bad idea. Best to stay at home safe, watching the boob tube. What animals do we have to worry about in Day of the Animals? Well there’s a grizzly bear, some wolves, birds of all types, a mountain lion and even dogs!
Probably best to go through each one separately to make sure we truly scare the shit out of you.
Grizzly Bear (we saw that with Grizzly but let’s reinforce that).
Dogs (man’s best friend… could be Cujo, could be Dogs, could be The Pack… you pick your dog related Horror killer).