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Sunday, October 11, 2015

Tales From the Crypt Bordello of Blood (Scream Factory Blu-ray)

Bordello of Blood. How excited was I to get to see a Tales from the Crypt flick in the theater after being so enamored with the original offering? I was ecstatic. So I went. I bought my ticket. I enjoyed what I saw realizing that it wasn’t quite the best movie of the year, but that it was filled with all the stuff that I loved my Horror and quietly rewatched it from time to time, not thinking much about it or its place in Horror history or in the creation of the Tales from the Crypt entertainment product. I suppose I never thought that it was a fantastic movie or that people somehow adored it, but I find that there isn’t much support for this picture and it seems to be an amalgamation of reasons that drive this disdain. So which is it for you? Dennis Miller? Is it the half-assed effects work? Is it the story that seems to just chug along with minimal intrigue and without organic flow? Scream Factory is giving you another chance to appreciate this vamp mid 90’s Horror picture and though I may love it because I love cheese and camp and laugh at the most inappropriate shit, some of you may cast an evil eye at this release. I assure you that there is a fantastic reason to pick it up EVEN IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE MOVIE! Stay tuned.

I love Dennis Miller’s comedy, but I understand full well why he may not be the best guy to appear in a Horror movie. In fact, Miller didn’t really wanna be in the one anyway and it shows. His improvised dialogue is long winded. His jokes take you completely out of the movie by being obvious, long winded and more like standup than dialogue. He doesn’t look like a hero, but he also doesn’t act like a hero and quite frankly, I can’t trust a guy who rejects a beautiful vamp queen. Can’t do. You can get sucked in by her hotness and then somehow escape after getting your hands on the goods, but I’m afraid I find it unbelievable. Funny enough, all of this criticism of the Miller performance is somehow more endearing to me and makes me enjoy the movie more. He’s simply outside the genre and he does something different and because of that I find it novel. I would not love it all the time but much in the way that I enjoy some of the Horror comedy from the 80’s I can appreciate Miller’s perspective… even if he is a dick.

The effects are certainly rushed and they aren’t nearly of the caliber that we saw in Demon Knight. They are still fun and gruesome. Just not as good. I admire their originality even if the execution could have used some work. There are so many hot bodies on screen you don’t know where to start looking. Hey, the movie’s called Bordello of Blood right? Well it lives up to both the Bordello and the Blood.

Of course the story is thin and the writing doesn’t entirely work and the dialogue falls flat at times and other simply phony, but you might best compare the enjoyment that I feel for this picture to a movie that might be riffed upon on Mystery Science Theater 3000. It has moments of real humor with moments that are simply over the top and gonzo.

The release features some awesome new cover art and reversible, traditional artwork for folks who cannot except change. I love em both. The extras include a new commentary track and more importantly, a making of featurette that explains more than is obvious. What you come to find out is that Bordello of Blood was a plagued production with too many hands in the pot, bad location scouting, poor planning, strange casting, bad casting and uncontrollable casting. It suffered from production overruns, a bad shooting schedule. It even suffered from a break up during shooting that made one whole performance go to pot. Most importantly we learn of Dennis Miller and “the way he works”. If I didn’t enjoy his comedy I’d hate the guy. He doesn’t appear in the documentary, but you seems to have a unanimous opinion about that tends to discuss everything we mentioned about his performance and how it wasn’t appropriate for the production at all. You know who I love? Corey Feldman. I’ve always enjoyed his performances, but he seems like a pretty damn nice fella. He opens up and let’s you in about the entire world of Bordello of Blood. It’s sort of heartwarming and sad, but ultimately his love for movies rages out. I think that the making of featurette is almost more important than the picture itself solely based on the implications of what happened to Tales from the Crypt in terms of a major motion picture push after Bordello tanked. It sort of shows where the Horror industry would go for a time. One of the major names and properties in the genre flopped.


My advice would be to pick this one up to understand why it is the way it is from the making of featurette if you’re not in love with it. Rewatch the movie, listen to the cast discuss it and then understand the deconstruction of a movie that could have been great, why it wasn’t great and dream of what it could have been. Perhaps what the franchise could have been if they third installment wasn’t sort of throw out there to video later on.

You can order Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood now!


From Scream Factory:

Wisecracking private eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller, Joe Dirt) investigates some strange happenings at a titillating bordello on the edge of town. It seems owner Madam Lilith (Angie Everhart, Jade) and her luscious cohorts want more than money… they want blood!

Soon Rafe finds himself up to his neck in a den of hungry vampiresses and battling the Reverend Jimmy Current (Chris Sarandon, Fright Night, Child's Play), a slick televangelist with an unstoppable talisman.

Directed by film producer Gilbert Adler (Thir13en Ghosts, House on Haunted Hill), co-starring Erika Eleniak (Under Siege), Corey Feldman (The Lost Boys, The Goonies), Aubrey Morris (A Clockwork Orange) and Phil Fondacaro (Ghoulies II), and brimming with blood, lust and wicked laughs, this is one brothel you'll visit again and again.

Bonus Features

NEW Audio Commentary With Co-Writer & Producer A.L. Katz
NEW Tainted Blood: The Making Of Bordello Of Blood – Interivews With Actors Corey Feldman, Angie Everhart, Erika Eleniak, Co-Writer & Co-Producer A.L. Katz, Editor & Second Unit Director Stephen Lovejoy, And Special Effects Creator Todd Masters
Video Promo
Still Gallery

Theatrical Trailer

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