LINKS TO THE PORT MANTEAU OF HORROR

Thursday, July 31, 2014

EVENT UPDATE: Shaun of the Dead on 35mm at the Colonial Theatre in PA August 1st.

A note to our 35mm fans in the tri-state area, Shaun of the Dead is screening tomorrow night at the Colonial Theatre in Phoenixville PA. The First Friday Fright Night crew will make sure that you have a great time watching a new classic Zom-Rom-Com in a classic theater environment. The Colonial has a balcony. It's also where the original Blob was filmed. These guys are great and these events are super fun.

Support good horror and good screenings like this one. Philly people... this means YOU!

SCREENING IS AT 10PM FRIDAY AUGUST 1ST!

You can buy tickets now:
http://thecolonialtheatre.com/2014/events/fright-night/shaun-of-the-dead/

NEW RELEASE UPDATE: JERSEY SHORE MASSACRE in theaters on August 22nd and on VOD and DVD on August 26th.

Okay okay okay! I know that this is considered to be the worst kind of smut visited upon the eyes of the horror community, but there is a group of you who adore it. Jersey Shore Massacre is hitting DVD in August. Ron Jeremy is in it. That's probably enough of a reason to watch it. Couldn't be any worse than Jersey Shore Shark Attack right? Or perhaps even the actual show Jersey Shore? Gym Tan Massacre? I'll give it a day in court.

Who is totally psyched (and not because they're gonna watch it with a beer funnel in hand)?

NEWS: Vote for Digital Tyrants' New Horror/Comedy Design

Fans of comedic horror art... my buddy over at Digital Tyrants (home of the Blog of the Binary God) is in the process of creating some truly clever and well crafted pieces of horror artwork that should make you laugh or make you cheer. Digital Tyrant is reaching out to horror fans and asking them to vote on the next design in the series.prints

These designs will be on sale. We'll keep you updated when the entire series is prepped and ready. Support artists.

NEWS: NEW ROB ZOMBIE FILM WILL BE FAN BACKED!!!

The new site for Rob Zombie's upcoming film is up now! Zombie is offering some pretty cool shit for funding. This includes everything from small scale swag to large scale Executive Producer credit on the movie. I urge you to check out the site for all the available gifts and the levels at which they apply. If I sound like a cheerleader in my effort to help get Zombie's film made, it's because I'm a huge fan of his work. This is an original production. This is not a remake of Halloween or a sequel (which was an interesting rumor).
 
What is Murder World? What of the game called 31? Will you survive the fan backed MADNESS!?
 
To keep from fainting keep repeating... it's only an awesome new movie concept from Horror filmmaker and fan ROB ZOMBIE!
 
HE NEEDS YOUR HELP TO FUND IT. So spread the word by sharing the link HERE. Check out the perks and decide your level of funding comfort. Check out all the images, and video on the site as well. There are hot new details that you'll want to begin to become famliar with now.
 

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

NEW RELEASE UPDATE: Blood Glaciar Comes to DVD from IFC Midnigth August 26th

 
Blood Glacier has a great name. It has a great poster, but will this just be another wannabe SyFy movie that features a mound of moving ice tormenting a bunch of climbers featuring bad computer graphics that make video games look like Oscar worthy works of art? I have seen and enjoyed Blood Glacier. We will have the full review of the upcoming DVD release shortly. In the meantime, it comes out August 26th, so if you've been waiting to see what the Hell a Blood Glacier could be, now is your chance.

Full release notes from IFC:

At a climate observation station high in the German Alps, a group of technicians preparing for a visit from the Environment Minister discover a mysterious red liquid pouring from a nearby glacier. A result of the ice's melting due to climate change, the now-spreading 'glacier blood' soon comes into contact with local wildlife, causing changes in the fauna that are at first curious but soon become deathly horrifying.

Now the isolated team must use every tool at their disposal to defend themselves from the ever-growing horde of biological monstrosities attacking them in this most desolate of environments.


Harking back to classic creature features, director Marvin Kren's BLOOD GLACIER combines stylish filmmaking with imaginative practical effects to produce a true rollercoaster ride of terror.

Release Date: August 26, 2014
SRP: $24.98
Rating: Not rated
Running time: 97 minutes





NEW RELEASE UPDATE: AFTERMATH Hitting Blu-ray and DVD August 26th from Image


If it isn't the 1950's out there with all the movies based around the fear of nuclear war or detonation. This particular one looks like it focuses on the effects of radiation on the mind and body to basically tell a tale that puts the worst human traits on display. The trailer makes it look like we have quite a bit of camera shake to sit through, but Eddie Furlong is in it! 

Will be reviewing later this month. The poster features yet another radiation mask. Still I"m a sucker for the radiation logo.

Full release notes:

IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

AFTERMATH

Available on Blu-ray and DVD on August 26, 2014


Image Entertainment, an RLJ Entertainment (NASDAQ: RLJE) brand, brings you the thriller Aftermath, available on Blu-Ray and DVD on August 26, 2014. Directed by Peter Engert (The Valley of Tears, Loving the Bad Man) and written by Christian McDonald (Optimism), the film stars Edward Furlong (Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Green Hornet), Monica Keena (Freddy vs. Jason, HBO’s “Entourage”), Andre Royo (HBO’s “The Wire”), C.J. Thomason (The Monkey’s Paw), and Christine Kelly (Loving the Bad Man). Aftermath is available on Blu-ray for an SRP of $29.97 and DVD for an SRP of $27.97.

The devastating horror of a nuclear apocalypse is now reality and nine desperate strangers find themselves clinging to life in a farmhouse cellar, while radioactive fallout descends on the darkened world above. These would-be survivors face the nightmare of dwindling supplies, poisonous air and the greatest threat of all – the hordes of zombie-like refugees who want in. With each dying day, their choice becomes clearer – stay and let the makeshift shelter become their tomb or face the unknown terrors of the world outside. Aftermath takes a hard look at how far humans will go to survive. And it isn’t pretty.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

REVIEW: EROTIC ADVENTURES OF CANDY AND CANDY GOES TO HOLLYWOOD (Vinegar Syndrome DVD) - MIDNIGHT REVIEW


The next installment in our Peekarama double feature from Vinegar Syndrome features a character by the name of Candy. Sweet. Innocent. She has no idea what is about to become of her misadventures into the world of adult things. Both Erotic Adventures of Candy and Candy Goes to Hollywood were put out by Carribbean Films, BV in 1978 and 1979 respectively. Gail Palmer directs both adult comedies.

Gail Palmer helmed the Candy movies, but also had a chance with a few other adult films in her short career in the industry. She worked with Seka, John Holmes, John Leslie and Wendy O Williams. Her first work, Hot Summer in the City, sounds fantastic featuring a gang of black militants kidnapping a white virgin and taking full sexual advantage of her (Source IMDB).



EROTIC ADVENTURES OF CANDY

Synsopis from Vinegar Syndrome – Virginal candy is curious about sex, but no one will teach her, so, she sets out to learn from experience. Her lust filled adventure takes her from one hilarious encounter to the next.

1.85:1 OAR, restored in 2k from the 35mm camera negative  and features the original theatrical trailer

Features Carol Connors as Candy opposite the great John Holmes (seems the Vinegar Syndrome has been finding quite a few of Holmes’ films in their hunt to preserve adult entertainment).  The overall tone of the Erotic Adventures is funny. Gail Palmer creates a fun almost lovable (and not purely in s sexual fashion) character. You’re glad to see her lose her innocence but you might be just as happy to help her keep it if you didn’t just buy a movie called Erotic Adventures of Candy.

CANDY GOES TO HOLLYWOOD

Synopsis from Vinegar Syndrome – Buxom Candy arrives in Hollywood, searching for fame and fortune. After meeting lecherous agent Johnny Dooropener, young candy gets to know the ins and outs of Hollywood in the most carnal of ways!

1.85:1 OAR, restored in 2k from the 35mm interpositive and features the original theatrical trailer

Unlike the original, Candy Goes to Hollywood takes more risks with a far less innocent Candy, sending her into the spotlight opposite John Leslie this time. Carol Connors returns as Candy and while the humor continues and the production value is fairly good, the content is not quite as charming as the original picture. This is the story your parents warned you about when you went off to be a star of the silver screen. Agents with naughty ideas.

Of course this feature also has a special guest star, Wendy Williams aka Wendy O Williams of Reform School girls, Pucker Up and Bark Like A Dog and The Legend of Billie Jean (which we just reviewed).



REVIEW: ALL NIGHT LONG AND TAPESTRY OF PASSION (Vinegar Syndrome DVD) - MIDNIGHT REVIEW


Let the festival of John Holmes begin with the latest installment of the double feature adult entertainment Peekarama featuring two works from director Alan Colberg is out now. Both features were originally released by Essex Pictures from 1975 and 1976 and are cheeky, entertaining pieces of early John Holmes smut. I do have a preference for one of these pictures, and we’ll get into that in a second. First let’s talk about Alan Colberg for a second.

Colberg was active in the adult film industry from 1975 to 1983 with his final release Bad Girl. He started his career with Frankie and Johnnie… Were Lovers which saw a release on Something Weird Video on DVD as part of a double feature with The Teaser. Tapestry of Passion was his second film followed by All Night Long with Naked Afternoon starring John Leslie. His other works including Nanci Blue (a parody of Nancy Drew which plays like Tapestry), Sissy’s Hot Summer and One Way at a Time as well as a feature on Colberg favorite John Holmes in Superstar John Holmes.

Let’s get down to our double feature.


ALL NIGHT LONG

Synopsis from Vinegar Syndrome – The world’s greatest lovers, John Holmes and Rick Lutze, embark on a lusty competition to see who can bed the greatest number of women of the course of a night.

1.85:1 OAR, restored in 2k from the 35mm camera negative and includes the original theatrical trailer

According to the cover art this is the winner of the “best erotic film”, and as far as this double feature is concerned I agree. We have an entertaining wrap story that pieces together hardcore scenes featuring one of the greatest cock’s the industry has ever known. In John Holmes we trust and cry at our own inadequacy. Wipe away the tears because All Night Long plays two stars off one another in a game of one-upsmanship that will actually get you to root for a champion.

The opening ceremony is pretty damn funny imitating an awards ceremony that I can only imagine must feel like the early predecessor of  the AVN awards. What a lovely trophy (I won’t spoil it for you).

TAPESTRY OF PASSION

Synopsis from Vinegar Syndrome – Private detective Johnny Wadd is hot on the case of mysterious and beautiful woman known as “The Black Widow” whose lovers have an unfortunate habit of dying.

1.85:1 OAR, restored in 2k from the 35mm camera negative and includes the original theatrical trailer

Tapestry of Passion is more laid back. It plays on the popular tropes of gumshoe detective stories without any real mystery. While there’s plenty of tongue in cheek, humorous moments, you don’t get that true ruckus laughter that you find in All Night Long that really carries the movie between scenes.

Still the erotic set ups are geared toward a high brow crowd with well polished sets/bedrooms and a more focused, methodical sexual target. All Night Long’s competition means that anyone is fair game while Tapestry is more of a detective tale to find a specific woman.

NEW RELEASE UPDATE: TUSK from Kevin Smith Premieres at TIFF

 
Kevin Smith fans are loyal,and that's a fact or at least it had always been true while Smith was creating beautiful works of vulgar language painted social commentaries on a canvas of New Jersey. With Red State, Smith took a more serious turn in his writing style, one that was haunting and asked all the right questions. It wasn't precisely horror but was horririfc.  Now with Tusk, he asks us again to be challenged only this time it is in our conception of reality and whether or not we can enjoy a movie of pure dark fantasy with beautiful effects and a strange idea. Man into Walrus.
 
Below is the trailer for this release. Check it out and let us know your thoughts. 
 
 
 
Full release notes:

TUSK will have its world premiere at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival

#WalrusYes

A film written and directed by Kevin Smith
Starring Justin Long, Haley Joel Osment, and Genesis Rodriguez

From the singular mind of writer/director and podcaster Kevin Smith, and conceived from one of Smith’s own Smodcast’s, TUSK is a story unlike anything that has ever been committed to screen before. A tale that is equal parts hilarious and horrifying, TUSK will stay with you long after the credits roll. 

Read more about the film on Kevin Smith’s blog:
http://silentbobspeaks.com/

A24 will release TUSK in theaters September 19, 2014
For more info:
www.TuskTheMovie.com
www.Facebook.com/TuskTheMovie
www.Instagram/TuskTheMovie
@Tusk_TheMovie
#WalrusYes

NEW RELEASE UPDATE: Chemical Peel Arrives On DVD, Digital HD, and Video on Demand October 14

The terms chemical peel gives me the heebie jeebies! I just curl up my neck and shoulders and shake uncontrolable. I love the concept of a train dumping checmicals that cause an extrememly bad situation especially with a more recent wave of petroleum tankers dumping and lighting ablaze whole towns. It plays to our worst fear. In the middle of the night, without warning... PEELING!

The trend appears to be put gas masks on all the horror covers like The Crazies is back in style, so keep that in mind. I see the words Gory Fun as a box quote from Ain't It Cool News... Gory would be good. Cast looks like it has some horror background.

Check out the trailer and full release notes.

 ***For the official trailer, please visit: http://youtu.be/fmQgGRLJysc***

 Full Release Notes from Lionsgate:

Prepare to feel the burn as Chemical Peel arrives on DVD (plus Digital), Digital HD and Video on Demand October 14 from Lionsgate Home Entertainment. What starts off as the perfect bachelorette weekend quickly takes a gruesome turn when a deadly chemical toxin is released into the air. Starring Natalie Victoria (Abstraction), Arielle Brachfeld (The Haunting of Whaley House) and Stephanie Greco (Hansel & Gretel), the Chemical Peel DVD includes two audio commentaries, a "making of" featurette and outtakes and will be available for the suggested retail price of $26.98.

A weekend trip to the woods for a bachelorette party turns deadly when a nearby train accident causes a chemical reaction to overtake the secluded valley. But waiting out the disaster inside could prove to be just as dangerous as the outdoors.

DVD SPECIAL FEATURES*
Audio commentary with actors Natalie Victoria, Arielle Brachfeld, Stephanie Greco, Lacy Fisher, Leigh Davis and Lony'e Perrine
Audio commentary with director Hank Braxtan, writer Dan Sinclair and producer Tarkan Dospil
"Slow Burn: The Making Of Chemical Peel" featurette Outtakes

*Subject to change

CAST
Natalie Victoria - Abstraction, Always Faithful, DeadHeads
Arielle Brachfeld - The Haunting of Whaley House, Return of Ghostbusters, The House That Jack Built
Stephanie Greco - Hansel & Gretel, The Haunting of Whaley House, Phoenix Falling
Lacy Fisher - Feature film debut
Leigh Davis - Monster & Me, Blue Dream, Blood Effects
Lony'e Perrine - Jersey Justice, Smoking/Non-Smoking
with Ruben Pla - Cheap Thrills, Insidious, Contracted
and Ron Vischer - Return of the Ghostbusters

PROGRAM INFORMATION
Type: Home Entertainment Premiere
Rating:R for Bloody Violence, Disturbing Images, Language and Brief Sexual Content
Genre: Horror; Thriller
Closed Captioned: English
Subtitles: English and Spanish
Feature Run Time: 95 minutes
Format: 16x9 Widescreen (2.35:1)
DVD Audio Status: 5.1 Dolby Digital

NEW RELEASE UPDATE: Revelation Trailer on DVD August 26th

Looks like the Zombies Go West! I find the Western Horror subgenre to be a mixed bag but add to that using zombies as your antagonist, and I fear for the fan boy back lash. Did anyone bring troll repellent. Still, it's this kind of cross pollination between concepts and subgenres that occassionally bring much fruit. The minute I typed the zed word, I can already feel the tight oppressive fist of the internet raining down hatred and intolerance upon our undead brethern. Let's be positive even if the poster art doesn't making the zombies look at all flattering.

This is John Gibson's first horror, directorial outing. Let's wish him well, and see what happens on August 26th. For a first release, this thing has a nice extras package

Full release below:

REVELATION TRAIL
on DVD from Entertainment One on August 26th
In the late nineteenth-century, a holy man known only as the Preacher (Daniel Van Thomas) confronts unspeakable evil as a gruesome power consumes the frontier. Standing between ruin and salvation, he joins forces with the town Marshal (Daniel Britt), a man with his own set of demons, in a savage fight against the undead.

BONUS FEATURES
Commentary with Daniel Van Thomas, Daniel Britt and Director John Gibson
Life on the Trail: The Story of the Film
Four Behind-the-Scenes and On Location Featurettes
"My Beloved" Revelation Trail Music Video by Angry Johnny and the Killbillies
Revelation Fail: Bloopers & Outtakes

PRODUCTION UPDATE: ROB ZOMBIE'S 31 Website to Launch July 31st

 
 
I know that you've seen the recent concept art designs to come out of the Rob Zombie camp as respects the release of 31 currently in production/pre-production. No, it's not Spalding. It's something different, Rob assures us. Of this I have no doubt. Yeah, the guy in the captioned picture maybe wearing clown makeup, but I also know, as a lifelong White Zombie, that Rob is a fan of the grease paint. Not all clowns are Captain Spalding fellas.


 
He's also a fan of guys in skeleton costumes. Yes they look like Cobra Kai students from the original Karate Kid, but they're also kinda creepy.
 
 
 
In addition, we love the censored, topless art with a juggernaut, made-up monster or madman in the chase.
 
I can't wait to see what the new website might reveal about the upcoming release and the only moment of upset or sadness that I feel toward it is know that we have a long road to actually getting a movie to view or a screening outside of a festival. Keep the horror coming, Rob even though you almost made me a Flyers fan with your hockey project. 
Stay Tuned. July 31st is coming soon.

Note: I can't help but get confused/curious as to why the 31 has to look like 3I. Just a font thing? Any significance. Every time I type it I feel like I'm doing it wrong.

NEW RELEASE UPDATE: Werewolf Rising Coming to DVD September 8th

 
Just so we're clear, I'll give most werewolf movies a shot. Werewolf Rising for instance has a fairly standard, solid wolf plot with some sexy moments in the trailer and a good location. While the trailer doesn't reveal all that much about the look for the lycanthrope, this is enough to get me to consider it. I weep for CG wolves, but this is coming from Image/RLJ who has can definitely put out a good product. The trailer raised my expectation of this movie, let's see if it can deliver.

Let's hope for brutality and blood. Not much scarier than Arkansas mountains (which I've only been through a couple times in my life). At least there's a giant wolf head onthe cover and a "Beware the Beast" tag line.

Full release below including links to the trailer.
Deep in the sinister woods lives an unimaginable terror, that wreaks death and destruction when the moon is full. Out of the darkness comes a new kind of blood lust in Werewolf Rising, coming to DVD from Image Entertainment on 08 September 2014.

When Emma returns to her childhood home deep in the Arkansas mountains, she’s in need of rest and relaxation, but her problems have only just begun. What she finds is slaughter, fear and the foul pestilence that comes with a full moon.

A bloodthirsty werewolf is tearing through the township, ripping and ravaging all who cross its path; revealing a menacing underworld that few knew existed. Suddenly Emma finds herself plunged into a fight for her life and more – a fight to the finish for her soul.

Beware of the beast in Werewolf Rising a bloody thrilling fantasy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quAr3wM4xwM&list=UU5yMy-T8CTTr5AdbuP1B84w

http://www.aimpublicity.com/release.asp?filmid=635

NEW RELEASE UPDATE: Septic Man on VOD August 12th From Starz

 
While I wasn't thrilled with Monster Brawl, Pontypool is one of the best modern horror films to provide us with an origianl concept that was creepy played with our minds rather than providing over the top gratuity to get its screams. The new feature from this creative team, Septic Man, sounds absolutely disgusting (so in complete contrast to Pontypool's visual maturity and restraint).

We will have a review up shortly, but until then check out the trailer link below and see if this something you'd want to waste a bar of soap on.

YOUTUBE TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAqyp7BxA-Q

Full release notes:

SEPTIC MAN - Starz Digital Media
AVAILABLE ON VOD: August 12, 2014
AVAILABLE IN THEATERS: August 15, 2014
CAST: Jason David Brown, Molly Dunsworth, Robert Maillet, Julian Richings
WRITER: Tony Burgess
DIRECTOR: Jesse Thomas Cook

SYNOPSIS: From the creators of MONSTER BRAWL, EXIT HUMANITY, and PONTYPOOL comes this award-winning origin story of Jack, a sewage worker who’s determined to uncover the cause of the town’s water contamination crisis. But when he becomes trapped underground in a septic tank without food or water he undergoes a hideous and repulsive transformation. In order to escape the tank, he must team up with a docile Giant and confront a murdering madman. Hailed as a “stunning” (Little Red Umbrella), “funny” (TwitchFilm), and “visceral story that will leave you shaken – and desperate for a shower” (Rue Morgue Magazine), SEPTIC MAN is a cinematic odyssey into the darkest depths of horror and beyond.

GENRE: Horror
RATING: R
RUNTIME: 87 minutes
DISTRIBUTOR: Starz Digital Media

YOUTUBE TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAqyp7BxA-Q

NEWS: SDCC Michael Myers Slide Celebrates Upcoming Joint Anchor Bay/Scream Factory Release

 
San Diego Comic Con must have been a scary place this past weekend with Michael Myers on the prowl and not just one... multiples. Dancing. Sliding to be specific. Check out the video to this strange occurence that consides with the joint Anchor Bay/Scream Factory promotion of the Complete Collection Blu-ray set of Halloween.

Full release from Anchor Bay/Scream Factory:
 
Courtesy of Bloody Disgusting
 Comic Con 2014 is now officially in the history books, but before we say goodbye -- and start preparing for next year's show -- please check out the video links below.

Apparently, it took more than one Michael Myers to help spread the word regarding September 23rd's HALLOWEEN Complete Collection Blu-ray set at the show and once they got together...well, have a look. Please share with your readers, listeners, audiences, friends...and fellow Halloween fans!

Follow the links to view the SLIDE That Came HOME!

The Michael Myers Slide: http://youtu.be/z7zAKguA-bM or https://vimeo.com/101946229 (for mobile devices).

#MichaelisComingHome

REVIEW: Alpha Blue's Ed Wood DVD's From Necromania to Nympho Cycler


As a fan of Ed Wood's early work, his Science Fiction and gender bending creations, I like to check out whatever I can get my hands on. I consider him a bit of a hero. Maybe some of that is driven home even more by Tim Burton's movie about Ed Wood's life that's filled with fantastic one liners and heroic tales of an independent filmmaker trying to make the movies  he loves. Of course if you've seen the movie then you've read the Afterward in the credits that states that he went on to shoot a different style of movie. Adult features. Porn. Lots of porn. We're here to briefly discuss Ed Wood's adult movies as released by Alpha Blue. 


also included Scent of Love, Hedonist Hypnotist, Love Making USA (a rare clip) - the lost movies of Casey Larrain.


also included Ward Sex, The Young Model, The Sex Spa - the lost movies of Suzanne Fields

also included Kiss My Analyst, Analyze Your Sex, The Adventures of Flash Beaver - the lost movies of Maria Arnold

also included Pleasure Between Heaven and Hell, Oakie Maid and For the Love of Money - the lost movies of Alice Friedland

These are the titles I watched along with the other films included on each disc. Here's the deal. Each of these movies features nearly identical shooting styles that feature stag films rather than quality adult features with exceptional dialogue, plots and stars. The women are beyond gorgeous with perfect 70's breasts and bush. The men are disgusting horrid rejects that might have been extras in the movie Animal House rather than build to play the pokey game on film. You'd think that that would matter to a guy who digs chicks. Well it friggin matters. When the movie focuses on Ed Wood in drag stripping and trying to fuck a hottie, overweight and strange, well it's impossible to even conceive of an erection much less feel turned on. Once I realized that I was deal with this same basic formula for each movie I knew this would be an effort in tedious porn watching. Unentertaining. Focus on the boobs I said in my mind... I couldn't. Too many strange men crowding up the screen providing lame shtups, blocking the camera with hairy balls and framed identically. No variation. 

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/IaTTpZGK4-s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Best part about the releases are the covers of Nympho Caller and Necromania. Beautiful woman with perfect exploitation sensibilities. Nothing in between the those covers really stands out mind you save for a strange coffin sex scene during Necromania but it's not arousing. Just unique. The opening to Nympho Cycler is pretty hot until it just turns into a variation on the rest of the sex scenes you've seen before, that stag underproduced, underscripted, no style flick. 

These collections are perfect for Stag and Blue movie fans as well as Ed Wood completist, but I assure you that it's very difficult to consider these good spank discs. Still... there's a ton of content on these things, and if you are into this Ed Wood era you're in for a treat. Just not my cup of tea.

You've been warned. You can pick up these four discs (links are above).

Monday, July 28, 2014

EDITORIAL: Invasion of the Halloween Thieves - How One Editorial Got It Wrong About Rob Zombie's Opinion of John Carpenter's Halloween

As a fan of Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween and the sequel I take some heat from time to time from remake haters and folks who aren't exactly fans of Rob Zombie's body of work. I only tell you this because people are absolutely allowed to dislike movies and form their own opinions about them. This is the internet after all. Everyone has an opinion (and apparently assholes and keyboards). Of course then there's the matter at hand... not an opinion exactly, but a work of poetic larceny. Moviepilot published an editorial by Amy Martin that made some unbelievable and factually inaccurate statements most of which served as insults to Zombie and still others were out and out lies. I want to address this article because the response on the social network was to share it and provide a soap box for folks who don't like Zombie's Halloween rather than focus on the content of the article which was pure trash. The attention this article was undue and hopefully it has been pulled. We will not be linking to it, but the text in red is quoted form him with credit given. 

The title of this piece is misleading: “Rob Zombie Tells Us Why His 'Halloween' Is Superior To The Original”. Rob Zombie didn’t tell Moviepilot anything. The idea that Rob Zombie feels his work is superior to the original Carpenter film was the hypothesis created out of a self-serving desire to attack Rob Zombie’s Halloween. Rob Zombie has not claimed that his movie is superior. He does love the original. He has made a different version of that story (as the sequels have done each time the concept of Michael Myers is re-explored and recreated).

Let’s address some of the “key points” from Moviepilot and discuss the MTV article in question and also some excerpts from fan questions from Halloweenmovies.com.


From 2014 Moviepilot article:

 “Despite claiming to be a big fan of the original 1978 'Halloween' and its sequels, Rob Zombie has spoken out on the man‘y flaws in the original film, and how he improved upon it in his 2007 remake.
During an interview with 'are you going' in 2002, he stated "Go remake something that's a piece of shit, and make it good." In 2003 he then went on to say to the guys over at DVDtalk.com "Remaking films that were already great is kind of stupid. I don't really see the point"

Rob Zombie’s words from an interview at Halloweenmovies.com:

Q: Can you please clarify what you mean when you say you are “not making a sequel” and that your Halloween will be a “re-imagining” of the series? Isn’t that just another word for “remake”? (from Cole in Chicago)
RZ: Well, sort of. I am basically making a prequel and a semi-remake of the first film all in one. So really in theory there will be more original content than remake content. That’s why I don’t like the word “remake.”
From the MTV 2007 Robert Mancini interview:
That challenge came from Bob Weinstein, the co-head of the Weinstein Company who sat Zombie down for a meeting and simply said, " 'Halloween' ... what do you think?"

"My first reaction was I didn't see the point of any of this," Zombie admitted, adding that he was turned off by what a string of uninspired sequels had done to the legacy of the original. "Then I went away and thought about it for a couple months and started thinking that that was maybe a weird attitude to have." Inspired by David Cronenberg's 1986 take on "The Fly" and John Carpenter's 1982 version of "The Thing," Zombie started to see the possibilities in reinventing the franchise, and "started thinking of ways this could be done and done right.

From 2014 Moviepilot article:

So this leads us to believe that either A: He went back on his word, or changed his mind because he was offered the money - or B: He actually does think that the original 1978 Halloween is an awful film.

Rob Zombie’s words from an interview at Halloweenmovies.com:

Q: Halloween is the most influential horror movie ever made and I for one am not happy about a remake. All of the remakes to hit theaters – from Texas Chainsaw to The Omen – were total crap. Why touch a classic like Halloween? Why would you even risk this? (from Mike in New York)
RZ: Like I said in Question 1, I wouldn’t even go near this project if I didn’t feel like a had a fresh, worthwhile approach to the material. Besides, I’m not touching one single frame of Carpenter’s classic. That film will remain as it always has.

From the MTV 2007 Robert Mancini interview:

“Horror-movie remakes for the most part don't work," Zombie said, taking a break from audio mixes in his recording studio to unleash his inner fanboy (which is never that far from the surface anyway). "They just imitate the original. They don't try to do something new and different, they just follow it. And if you're going to follow the original, then there's no point because that movie already exists." 
"My first memory of the film is of feeling swept up in the excitement of this new thing that was sort of changing the rules for horror movies," Zombie recalled. "It's just a great movie as a movie. Before it spawned this whole generation of imitators, the closest thing you could relate it to was maybe 'Psycho' — it seemed like this simple, suspenseful, Hitchcock-style movie. But of course, when something hits, it gets imitated, and the parts that get imitated are usually the most basic parts. 'Well, if they enjoyed four teenagers getting killed, then they're really gonna like 13 teenagers getting killed.' That's what gets exploited. I always feel bad that 'Halloween' gets lumped in with [the imitators] ... it sits alone as a classic film on its own, much better than any of the films it ever spawned."

And taking on such a classic is no small feat (undoubtedly, expectations would be somewhat lower if Zombie were revisiting, say, "Dr. Giggles"). Zombie said he's seen "Halloween" hundreds of times, and admitted that he recently had to cut himself off after repeated viewings left him feeling handcuffed as he tried to tackle the script for his own vision. He's certainly not alone, though. Generations continue to discover John Carpenter's original, and its hallmarks — that expressionless mask and that relentless score — can instantly chill anyone who's ever taken the cinematic trip to Haddonfield, Illinois.

"I think the music and the imagery and everything involved with 'Halloween' is still effective because it was simple, and simple things are always classic and they last," Zombie opined. "I relate it to the Ramones. When they were doing it first, nothing sounded like that, and it's hard to believe that nothing sounded like that because everything sounds like that now. It's hard to believe there was a time that was never done." 

Does this sound like someone who thinks Carpenter’s Halloween is an awful film? No. Does he feel his movie is a remake? Not really. He thinks of it an alternate universe. A different story. You know how Mary Shelley wrote a book called Frankenstein and then a whole bunch of filmmakers made it their own? That’s what Zombie was trying to do. Take a concept and put his spin on it. When we talk about a filmmaker trying to reimagine a movie this would be the genuine article. Too often the term reimaging is used as a marketing tool to skirt the word remake. This is not one of those times.

From 2014 Moviepilot article:

Zombie said that he felt the character of Loomis was more of a 'dramatic tool' than a character, and would simply "pop in when they needed something dramatic to say." He also commented that in the sequels especially, Loomis seemed like he was crazy, and acted as if he was always drunk!
Oh I'm sorry if he acted a little crazy and drunk in the sequels Rob, I guess the pressure of having to deal with Michael and his murders year after year just took its toll on him? At least he didn't turn into an arrogant asshole like YOUR Loomis did in the sequel!

From the MTV 2007 Robert Mancini interview:

"I felt the character of Dr. Loomis just popped in and out when they needed somebody to say something dramatic," Zombie observed. "I wanted his story to feel more intertwined with Michael in a way that means something, which they did in the original, but sometimes it feels like he disappears for a long period and then just pops up to go, 'He's evil!,' and then he disappears again for a while."

Zombie's eyes light up as he talks about casting his Loomis, and names ranging from Jeff Bridges to Ben Kingsley turn up on his very, very loose "what if?" list. "There is no shortage of late-50s, early-60s male actors that are amazing and would like to work more, probably much like Donald Pleasence at the time [he was cast as the original Loomis]," Zombie said
. 

When you think about Zombie’s statement here, he’s not saying that Donald Pleasence did a bad job, but he really is involved for a limited amount of time in the theatrical cut of the movie. He’s the doctor who is sent to pick up Myers. He tracks him down. He finds the sheriff in Haddonfield and attempts to track Myers down. Visits Judith Myers’ grave. Camps out at the Myers house. He discovers Lindsey and Tommy running down the street and kills the bad guy. Every time he speaks he talks about Evil. He hardly seems like a real person, and for Zombie’s idea, an idea that was supposed to be more centered in reality rather than a world of good and evil in the supernatural sense of the word, this character is important to be developed. So he does just that and in his sequel Zombie’s Loomis tries to capitalize on his adventures. We see that all the time.

From 2014 Moviepilot article:

“Next Zombie said that he was upset that Michael was seen wearing a clean jumpsuit. "Another one of the things about the original Halloween and Michael Myers that bothered me, was that he found the only mechanic who wore a pristine uniform to kill"

Seriously? What makes you think that Michael Myers had to be a dirty character anyway? Who knows - the mechanic could have brought that jumpsuit brand new the day before. Or maybe he was just careful about his work.”

From the MTV 2007 Robert Mancini interview

"There are even things about the original Michael Myers that bothered me," he admitted. "Like, he killed the only mechanic that wears a pristine mechanic's uniform. It's just things like that that bothered me." 

I don’t believe Rob Zombie thinks that the jumpsuit is an inherit flaw in the character of Michael Myers or that Myers is dirty or should be dirty. It was just curious that the jumpsuit was clean. Having been around my fair share of mechanics, they usually have some oil smudges or other general road wear on their suit. Just happens. Says nothing about the quality of the mechanic, but to Rob it didn’t feel real. We realize at this point that the writer of the Moviepilot article is fishing for things to complain about.

From 2014 Moviepilot article:

“Zombie complains next that he finds it hard to believe that Michael would always find a similar mask to wear. "What if he stole a Jimmy Carter mask, or, you know, an Elmo mask, if that was the only one available at the hardware store" and - "when did he rob the hardware store? In broad daylight? When the alarm's still ringing? Like, where is everybody?" He then went on to say a bit more about how much things like that bother him in movies.

Hmm okay, so I can see where he's coming from with this one. The masks however were possibly quite popular at the time, because in both Halloween 2 and 5 we see different teenagers wearing them, so they may have been widely available - and on top of that, the same mask was never used twice. I'd personally much rather have him miraculously finding the same mask then walking around for the entire movie without wearing one (like in RZ's Halloween 2), because that TOTALLY ruined the eeriness of 'the shape.'”

This makes me think of the exceptionally popular Tor Johnson mask. It had variations over the years and I also like the fact that the mask changed over the years, developed, much like the Tor Johnson mask, but that damn Tor Johnson mask was very popular and still difficult to find. In fact aside from some Don Post masks I think it’s safe to say that Halloween masks rollover over the course of several years. He’s not damning the series. He’s simply observing that it’s awfully curious that Michael Myers gets out of an ambulance wreck to return to Haddonfield and immediately has to go find the same ghostly mask rather than the object of his desire (his niece). Yes, you could find the same mask… over and over and over and over…Myers gets lucky quite often. Sure Ben Tramer wears a similar mask in Part 2 and in Part 4 a group of kids gathers in a circle around the sheriff and Loomis, but considering I’ve never seen anything quite like this in reality, I understand Zombie’s point. That’s movie magic. Zombie wanted the whole thing to feel a little more every day. What might happen everyday. A killer might be just as happy with a Shatner mask as a Tor Johnson reissue.

From 2014 Moviepilot article:

“Another thing that Zombie had a bee in his bonnet about is that Michael was able to drive. "Michael Myers does not drive in this movie, because that always bothered me. They played it out like 'someone must have given him lessons', but you know, no one gave him lessons, he's in maximum security prison"
Well did you consider this Rob - Michael wasn't called 'the shape' for no reason, he was supposedly pure evil, and of course carried 'the curse of thorn'. Perhaps that had something to do with it. Perhaps that makes him that much more frightening.”

Nope, Zombie is right on this one. It is a bit on the extreme side that someone would have given Myers lessons in an institution. One of the things that Zombie points out is that he wants it to feel like Myers is less supernatural. So the issues he has are with that concept. He wants Myers to be more real. He is not insisting that Myers being more realistic in the original picture would have made it better, but that’s not the story he wants to tell in his movie. In Carpenter’s world, Myers is a bit on the supernatural side. Six shots won’t take him down in the end of the movie. He walks and moves silently and in the sequels (not all of them penned by Carpenter) that supernatural myth evolves. Considering the Curse of Thorn is just about as prominent in the series as robotic henchman created by an Irish toymaker, I think it’s safe to rule that out… especially in 1978 when the curse of thorn wasn’t a cum stain on the other side of the mattress.    

From 2014 Moviepilot article:

"Bothered me, bothered me, bothered me" Ugh, just stop it already Zombie, you're making a fool of yourself. Well what bothered me the most about the remake was that there was excessive gore, excessive swearing, excessive sexual content - heck it's not a movie I'd be watching with my parents! You had ten year old's talking about...well what they were talking about in the scene pictured above.

If the excess in Zombie’s Halloween bothers you then it is clearly different from the original… that didn’t have Linda (PJ Soles) ta ta’s on display or didn’t open with a boobie shot with Myers staring down his sister exposed tits and then killing her with a badass POV shot. Plenty of boobs. Plenty of violence (not gore, but killing is killing whether done for duty profit or fun, right?). Zombie’s version does swear more. Different time. Different writing style. You can't say that Rob copies Carpenter which most likely would have been your next complaint. 

From 2014 Moviepilot article:

Despite all that's been said, I do appreciate the remake for what it is, and I was actually very impressed by it. As I said before, it would have been better had they toned down the profanity and nudity - not as worried about the violence, as it is a horror film after all, but the way he's been slating the original is not on, considering how much he claims to like it. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I would say that Zombie is totally lying when he says that he likes and respects the original Halloween, but is just saying that for fear of losing fans if he said otherwise.

This is a poor conclusion by a bad writer. That Zombie would take on this project at all shows his respect for the original movie. He consulted Carpenter on it. He loves horror which is an absolute. 

Rob Zombie’s words from an interview at Halloweenmovies.com

Q: How does John Carpenter feel about your involvement in the new Halloween? (from Zack in Georgia)
RZ: I talked to John about it and he was very supportive. He basically said, “That’s great Rob, go for it and make it your own.” What more do I need?

And of course then there's the Facebook posts from ROB ZOMBIE: 

"Who ever wrote this (Amy Martin) is a trouble making cunt. I love John Carpenter's Halloween and John knows that. Why? Because I told him. In fact he was the first person I called and told about my film. He said he was cool with it. I actually said to him "if this is a problem, I won't do it". Simple as that.

I have never compared the two films and never will. Taking a bunch of things I said years before I even made the film to try and start trouble is typical internet nonsense. I never pointed out flaws in the original. I pointed out things that weren't in the original that I could put in mine. Not because I thought my way was better, but because I thought it would be different. Since I figured trying to make the exact same film was sort of silly.

Here is cute quote from this bullshit article "I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I would say that Zombie is totally lying when he says that he likes and respects the original Halloween, but is just saying that for fear of losing fans if he said otherwise."

Here's a direct quote for you Amy Martin... "FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF USELESS SHIT!" Don't misquote that.

BTW your article reads like it was written by a fourth grader." 

AND THEN LATER...

Well the bullshit HALLOWEEN article has now been mysteriously removed. Pretty funny. I guess she doesn't believe her own opinions. Easy to spew fucking lies, but harder to stand behind them.

Thus ends another day on the internet.