Thursday, January 30, 2014

Sorority Party Massacre (Anchor Bay DVD) - Sorority + Party + Massacre = You've Seen This Before

To be fair, the sorority horror movies don’t generally get stellar reviews. Sure there are a few that are top notch that really outshine the entire sub-subgenre, but for the most part you watch these movies to see scantily clad coeds running around getting butchered by something. If you see “sorority” in the title, get ready for the some so-bad-it’s-good acting, gratuitous violence and plenty of skin. When I tell you that Sorority Party Massacre lives up to it’s namesake, you’ll understand if that doesn’t mean that I’m singing it’s praises. Do not expect the next Black Christmas.

Synopsis from Anchor Bay: 

An isolated town full of sexy college girls has a dangerous secret: one girl has gone missing each year for the last 20 years. A big-city cop, in danger of losing his badge, agrees to aid the town’s sheriff in investigating these unsolved disappearances. Quickly they realize that they are dealing with a psychotic killer whose brilliance has been twisted into a taste for terror, torture and sororitysister torment. But when this party gets started, who will graduate – and who will be held back?


While I didn’t have high hopes for Sorority Party Massacre it does have some charming moments. Whether it’s a not-so-terrible opening sequence that is as generic and obvious as any movie of it’s type, at least SPM’s production value isn’t terrible. There are actresses, delivering bad dialogue and getting killed. That’s what we expected. That’s what we got. The quality of the kills is better than some blood splatter off a paint brush at lingerie. There are some creative kills harkening back to slasher flicks of old (one fairly obvious Sleepaway Camp nod). There’s at least one scene reminiscent of The Prowler or My Bloody Valentine in costume look (though not in gore or scare).

The biggest surprise? The movie is over 90 minutes long! In slasher movie minutes you’ll practically need an intermission. The additional runtime feels like an eternity and ultimately, you just won’t care who the killer is anyway. There aren’t enough kills to support a long run time (or naked folk for that matter). The cover art is generic drivel. At least movies like House on Sorority Row or Sorority House Massacre had some titillating cover art to make you WANT to enjoy the movie. If you happen to catch this one midway through on cable, you might stick around to see how the whole thing works out, but names like Richard Moll or Kevin Sorbo should give away what you’re in for.

Full list of extras:
  • Audio Commentary by Producer/Writer/Director Chris W. Freeman and Producer/Director Justin Jones;
  • Deleted Scenes;
  • Outtakes;
  • Paige Fight Scene;
  • Barney Lumpkin Campaign Ad.
If you like fairly obvious, generic slasher flicks with a modicum of latex and fairly descent production value than this might interest you. Serious horror fans will want to stay away from this. It’s certainly not a good movie, and there isn’t a scare in it, but the homage to movies of yesteryear might actually appeal to some of you.

-Doc Terror

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