Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Day 7 - 30 Day Horror Film Challenge STRIKES BACK! Who's Stuntman Mike? He's a Stuntman

Day 7: Favorite villain (human) –

Animal Villian: Tarantulas from Kingdom of the Spiders. They seem so smart.

Robot Villain: Demon Seed... computer rape is such a novelty

Food Villian: The Stuff. Best advertising campaign. Tastes great, more killing.

Plant Villain: Concious plant from Dr. Terror's House of Horrors. This one always gets me to really think about hedge trimming. Also, the brits say the word, "hoe" with such seduction.

Human Villain... did you hear me butterfly? Miles to go before you sleep. It's no secret I'm a Tarantino/Death Proof/Grindhouse junkie. I will say that Mike is more of an amalgamation of a few different villains in horror/cinema history, but he'll be my favorite for some time to come. I give you Stuntman Mike... I mean Stuntman Matt... I mean...he's a Stuntman.

Kurt Russell dusts off his Snake Pliskin act combined with his later 50's early 60's television triva hat and his adrenaline overdose driving skills ala everything from Bullit to Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry to Fast and the Furious (all referenced in some form or another in this picture). Give this guy a hot muscle car, paint a skull on it and you have yourself a bad ass bad guy. He's the only guy I know who could put Rose McGowan in the passenger seat of a car dressed for sex and smash her head repeatedly into the sides of the car using the forces of momentum to murder her rather than hit on her. He's the man responsbile for killing Jungle fucking Julia.

You know how you know he's a great bad guy? The perfect villain... he comes out to Paranoia Prima by Ennio Morricone that's how. Also, sadly, he has a boot dropped straight on his face leaving him... most likely, dead. No sequel. Death Proof 2: 100 Proof! Maybe if you hire Nick Cage to Drive Angry after a hottie cast of girls to a bad ass soundtrack. No one can do this but Kurt.

Now how about that lap dance, a virgin pina colada and a nacho grande platter? Maybe the company of fascinating women? Maybe some chartreusse... the liquor so good they named a color after it? Just remember kiddies... "this car is 100% death proof, only to get the benefit of it, you really need to be sittin' in my seat". Oh we will Stuntman Mike... if that is your real name.

-Dr. Stuntman Terror

Post Script: I bet Stuntman Mike is a cousin of John Ryder. Just grasping at straws here.

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