LINKS TO THE PORT MANTEAU OF HORROR

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

You've Got Yellow On You: Terrore, Spring Break and a Smile

I ain't heard no fat lady! I've got more giallo than I can shake a stick at and only one problem... Not enough time in the day to do all the reviews you demand and still keep up the pace of the challenge. I hope I actually get through all 274 movies this year. Only one thing to do... marathon. Soon. I smell a night or two no the couch with a bottle o' Jolt cola and a pizza pie.


I've been hunting down some pretty obscure stuff and I'm not gonna lie, not all of the films that I've found are in English. Now that's not a problem. I find that by reading up on the plot points of the movie and knowing some basic Spanish (Spanish?) you can usually figure out the Who Done It mystery your watching. If you can't, well there's always the cinematography to focus on. No cinematography? Bring on the boobs. No boobs? Pray for the kill.

Here's what we've been viewing this week:



WELCOME TO SPRING BREAK:  Hey look it's John Saxon. I don't think he gets enough credit among the lay people for his work in the giallo genre. I love that this film pays an homage to Jaws with a fake shark. The deaths are classic, so is the killer's motorcycle helmet. The film has got great energy and has all the makings of an 80's sex comedy with the added bonus of a few electrocution deaths that make up for any films you don't like by Umberto Lenzi. One of my favorites.



DEATH SMILES ON A MURDERER: This movie is boring at times, but it's got some really strong points. Let's start by saying that Klaus Kinski is in the motherfuckin' house. Directed by Joe D'Amato... Hells yeah. Some damn fine lesbians. I love the corpse mask and the chase through the necropolis. Nothin' says lovin' like a double shot gun blast to the face with perfect cheese ball gore.  The music ain't half bad.



FORBIDDEN PHOTOS OF A WOMAN ABOVE SUSPICION:  This movie surprised the shit out of me. I had a very bad feeling from a giallo that would play on Netflix on Demand, but it lived up to it's fun/elongated title. The music is by Ennio. It's beautifully shot with a great story and some genuine creep outs. I love the use of a knife on a stick.



GIRL IN ROOM 2A: I'll be doing a full review for this shortly because Mondo Macabro sent me this and they're the fuckin' jam! Briefly: H.G. Lewis would be proud of the blood/gore combo. Long live the Crimson Executioner Jr. (Stay tuned for the full review).



24 ORE DI TERROR: I had to watch this one in Italian. It was in black and white and the quality was pretty poor. This is what gangs were like before the Godfather. It's an early thriller and somewhat dull. Formulaic. I love the black sunglasses and the screaming is very William Castle. He'd be proud. Is leaving on a plane at the end of a thriller a giallo thing or is it a throw back to Casablanca?



AUTOPSY: I couldn't care less about the plot of this flick. Nope. The gore was too damn fun. Iconic Italian Gore. It's the reason I fell in love with Italian cinema. The music is Ennio. The director is Armando Crispino. The film is worth watching whether you love traditional giallo or whether you like trash cinema. In the last couple of weeks I think I learned a few things about fornication.


Keep tuning in to see what we're watching and how it's emotional harming me. I have tear drop boobs burned into the back of my retinas. I can almost speak Italian. My breath smells like Campari. Chao!


-Dr. Terrore

No comments:

Post a Comment