The More You Know: PSA from Universal Regarding the 7 Deadly Mistakes Made in Fairy Tales

Snow White... Seven Dwarfs. You know this story, right? Disney. Pretty girl who's the fairest of them all. Dwarfs... seven of them. Working. Well, guys and gals the 1937 classic ain't the only show in town. You've been looking for an update, well in case you missed it Snow White and The Huntsman came out in theaters not too long ago and now you'll have the chance to check it out on Blu Ray and DVD (with fancy Ultraviolet copy too). Rest assured I cannot give you an opinion of this one as of yet. I haven't had the chance to watch it and will not, cannot endorse it completely. That is not to say that I will not let you enjoy the whimsical promo poster that hath been unleashed below (see you knew we were leading up to something).

First things first, take a gander at the trailer here... do it... do it NOW!!!

In honor of that release our dear pals Universal have put together a lil cheat sheet if you will. Consider a way to avoid some of the most common mistakes made in a fairy tale. While you've been reading these tales for as long as you've been reading and most likely as long as you've known of the existence of Snow White herself, this will either be a refresher course in how to stay alive or a life lesson missed a long long time ago. 

Not to disclaim this poster at all but if you "don't make crazy wishes" chances of you leaving your parents basement are nil.  Best to avoid scary forests, spinning wheels, poison... you know... the usually baddies.  

So this isn't exactly horror, but I remember this story (as you do) and there's a witch and huntsman and a bunch o' famous actors and actresses. Word on the street is it's pretty damn good. I'll make sure to keep you updated the minute I have more to say. Comes out tomorrow (September 11th). Shop til you drop. Avoid apples. Do not take up with more than four dwarfs at a time (slut). 

-Dr. TERROR